So my life hit the brakes and turned around and went home. I moved home...I moved away from everything I've known for 10 years. I thought I was running into the arms of my family but I really ran into the toxic tentacles of hurts even older than the hurts I've dealt myself in the past 10 years. Loving somebody because they're your "family" is not ( Read more... )

Isaac turned 6, had a rad party, and is now totally full of his own sixness. As for me, I celebrated by getting choked up and crying and reflecting a lot on the nature of time and the fact that I've been a grownup now for 6 years ( Read more... )

has been here. My child has lost his first tooth. Of course he has right? He's getting ready to graduate from Kindergarten, I mean what did I expect? That he'd actually just slow the heck down and quit freaking me out with his growth every damn day?

( Read more... )

He's big now! We had a really low-key birthday party. Just some pizza, cake and relatives on a Wed. night. I didn't really have it in me to have a party, we were all sick with colds anyhow.

( Read more... )

I spent an almost-week in Orange County. My Grandpa's funeral was lovely. Such a different feel from my brother's funeral. It was almost celebratory...I saw so many old friends of the family, I spent time smiling a lot. My brother's funeral was so dark and grievous compared. The funeral mass & reception were in Newport Beach, it was a truly ( Read more... )

I'm anxious about this day, getting to the airport, seeing my family, my grandmother's face, facing the grief and the organic sadness of it all. I wish I could just put off everything but I know that walking towards the painful will be the best way to process it eventually. My mom is in town to help James with the boys, she's a ball of mess in ( Read more... )

that this year isn't any worse than the last. My Grandpa passed away on Christmas and as dismaying as that sounds it was a horrendous day emotionally for me anyhow. Everybody keeps saying 'oh no now every christmas will be ruined!' But I don't really know about that. It's hard enough without my brother...maybe it will just be a day that I can ( Read more... )

He had a big birthday party with all of his friends, it was 100 degrees outside so we got a giant kiddie pool and they all went crazy and had a blast. I just cannot believe that 5 years has passed. He is such an amazing little boy and we're so lucky. He'll be finishing preschool the first week in June so he'll have summer vacation and then he'll ( Read more... )

So delicious. I'm waiting to hear back from the girl scouts about a job. Not feeling particularly hopeful but would totally go jazz hands over it if I got it. They're doing a background check and aside from the 87 people I killed last year it should come up clean right? Either way, I'm definitely ready for a big girl job ( Read more... )

Well it's a rainy day and the kids and I are cooped up. We'd be cooped up anyway really because Isaac has strep throat and he's layed up on the couch. Literally...laying there...watching tv...needing things every 20 seconds...I should just get him a bell. Little kids don't just ask for things, they ask for them over and over and over and over ( Read more... )