Supernatural - 522 Swan Song aux deaux
So I think I was crying because of implications...
Dean has always longed for normal and dear gods, no one deserves it more. A chance to live a life with lawn mowing and little league and someone who loves you putting dinner on the table as you come home from work. (let's just ignore the Norman Rockwell definition of normal and go with it 'kay) But this normal won't work for him. And we all know it.
But Dean, because he wants and because he promised (or at least let silence stand for a promise) will try. He'll try his damnedest. But he'll fail because he can't give it an honest chance when his last thought each night and his first thought every morning is of Sam.
And I cried for that failure.
And I cried for Sam alone. Learning to live without Dean this time because he believes Dean has what Dean has always wanted.
It's the Gift of the Magi all over again:
I will live this life because I love you.
I will live without you because I love you.
And the Gift of the Magi has always made me cry. Because love defined purely as sacrifice breaks my heart as much for the pain this kind of a fucked up definition causes as anything.
Because maybe Dean needs to learn a normal life isn't what he wants and he needs to chose Sam over it. And maybe Sam needs to learn to live without Dean and he needs to chose Dean rather than to go on alone. But neither of them can make that choice honestly while carrying the kind of baggage they're carrying.
And maybe this will be one of the seasons (like S1-S2) where they pick up immediately where they left off and Sam will knock on the door and they'll hug (because the returned from the dead hugging criteria has been fulfilled) but I doubt it...
...and I cried for that too.