Snape/Daredevil is my new OTP!
Because I know you all seekritly want to know from my April Fool's entry...
Tartanshell Does Snape/Daredevil in a Nutshell (not to be taken seriously):
ACT III:
(A shadowed table, off the dance floor of a dimly-lit club. Smoke floats lazily overhead while music pulses in the background. Lots of attractive, sweaty men--some in bondage gear, some in costume, some not--dance and mingle. In the foreground, a small, round table with one mug of beer, half-full, and one glass of liquor, also half-full, are also sweating, but with condensation instead of perspiration. Two men sit before the drinks. One is a tall gent with long, greasy black hair, dark eyes, and a huge nose. A huge scar mars his neck and face. He is clad in black; sits warily. The other man is masked, wearing a red leather devil costume. He sits with the casual grace of a true master of martial arts and legalese.)
Snape: I don't know what you're playing at. How can you sit there so calmly and say you love me? Everyone hates me! Everyone...except her. But even she turned from me, and I was left with years of bitterness and students with bad penmanship! Sad is my lot in life! (Takes a drink; gestures.)
Daredevil: (Quizzical head-tilt.) Well, for starters, I use a computer. Any love notes from me will be in neat, tidy Times New Roman. In twelve-point for added readability! (Shrugs.) Besides, I know all about bitterness. I am totally cool with it. Do you like brooding on rooftops?
Snape: Well, in dungeons, but--what am I saying? Surely you don't really mean this! I am ugly! I have always been ugly, and now I am even moreso! Besides that, I'm an utter bastard with few redeeming qualities.
(A long pause.)
Daredevil: (Peels off his mask.) I can't see you.
Snape: (Gapes.) ...Oh. All right then. What I meant to say was, I am an incredibly handsome individual, and--
Daredevil: (Laughs.) You smell terrific, and I sense that a relationship with you would be incredibly bad for me. You have no idea how much that turns me on.
(The lights fade to black as they begin to kiss passionately, with Snape batting DD's hands away every time they get close to his face or hair.)
Tartanshell Does Snape/Daredevil in a Nutshell (not to be taken seriously):
ACT III:
(A shadowed table, off the dance floor of a dimly-lit club. Smoke floats lazily overhead while music pulses in the background. Lots of attractive, sweaty men--some in bondage gear, some in costume, some not--dance and mingle. In the foreground, a small, round table with one mug of beer, half-full, and one glass of liquor, also half-full, are also sweating, but with condensation instead of perspiration. Two men sit before the drinks. One is a tall gent with long, greasy black hair, dark eyes, and a huge nose. A huge scar mars his neck and face. He is clad in black; sits warily. The other man is masked, wearing a red leather devil costume. He sits with the casual grace of a true master of martial arts and legalese.)
Snape: I don't know what you're playing at. How can you sit there so calmly and say you love me? Everyone hates me! Everyone...except her. But even she turned from me, and I was left with years of bitterness and students with bad penmanship! Sad is my lot in life! (Takes a drink; gestures.)
Daredevil: (Quizzical head-tilt.) Well, for starters, I use a computer. Any love notes from me will be in neat, tidy Times New Roman. In twelve-point for added readability! (Shrugs.) Besides, I know all about bitterness. I am totally cool with it. Do you like brooding on rooftops?
Snape: Well, in dungeons, but--what am I saying? Surely you don't really mean this! I am ugly! I have always been ugly, and now I am even moreso! Besides that, I'm an utter bastard with few redeeming qualities.
(A long pause.)
Daredevil: (Peels off his mask.) I can't see you.
Snape: (Gapes.) ...Oh. All right then. What I meant to say was, I am an incredibly handsome individual, and--
Daredevil: (Laughs.) You smell terrific, and I sense that a relationship with you would be incredibly bad for me. You have no idea how much that turns me on.
(The lights fade to black as they begin to kiss passionately, with Snape batting DD's hands away every time they get close to his face or hair.)