The Ripple Effect of Bullying

[tapati]

I was moved to write the following in response to this excellent post which was, of course, a response to the recent gay teen suicides.My abuse started in second grade when I gained a little weight and was slightly chubby. It was relentless, starting with the verbal (fatty, fatty two by four...) and moving on to constant threats of violence. No,

Comments

[tapati]

I'm glad some schools are really getting it. They should be used as models and what works should be replicated. It would also be cool if some web site were to monitor reports of bad schools and good schools in this regard. Being rewarded or being called out could be a big incentive to all schools to think hard about this and do better. They all want to get great test scores, but they don't seem to consider this issue seriously enough at all schools. (I bet there's a correlation between less bullying and higher scores because who can focus on schoolwork when they're traumatized repeatedly at school?)

Teachers mocking students should immediately be fired. WTF?

[milimod]

t,

Glad you were able to smile in that picture (which shows you as a perfectly pretty and normal-looking teenager). You've probably figured this out by now, but you were better, stronger and smarter than your peers -- and many teachers. You made it through to where you can now report truthfully about the experience. And remember, for every cyber-bully, there are people like you and me and so many others who can use the internet to get the word out and help the younger version of ourselves to understand that they're not "freaks" or "losers" or "better off dead."

Thanks for what you do.

/m

[tapati]

Thanks, I was at my "low" weight of 150 and in a size 16 pair of jeans, the lowest size I fit into back then. So I was feeling pretty good and it was the beginning of the year so I hadn't been beaten back down yet. That ended up being a hard year where I asked to be removed from my home.

I hope that by speaking up we can get all schools to take this seriously.

[wlotus]

I like your suggestions and questions. More of us need to be asking those same questions.

[tapati]

I'm trying to figure out how to translate talk into action. How do all of us get our schools to take this seriously from grade school on? That's the problem. Some schools do; others just don't see it as a real problem.

[carmy_w]

I posted a link on my facebook last week about the guy who charged on to the school bus to protect his daughter. I said then, and I still say, that if he didn't lay a finger on anyone, he didn't do a darn thing wrong. Concerning high-level bullying, I've never heard of anything stopping a bully except for either the person being bullied striking back, either verbally or physically, or else someone with more strength and power scaring the crap out of the bully. And that's sad, to me; I can't understand why kids don't have more empathy for one another

[tapati]

Yes, kids ought to be allowed to defend themselves.

And verbal abuse is just as damaging as any other form. Some feel that it is worse. Bruises heal quickly but words haunt us for years.

I think in addition to hard core consequences for bullying there needs to be mandatory counseling as a condition of remaining in school. It is not uncommon for bullies to be expressing pain of parental neglect or abuse, not being able to strike back at the parent. Bullies need counseling and better coping mechanisms for their own anger and low self esteem issues. We need to work on this from both ends.