The Ripple Effect of Bullying

[tapati]

I was moved to write the following in response to this excellent post which was, of course, a response to the recent gay teen suicides.My abuse started in second grade when I gained a little weight and was slightly chubby. It was relentless, starting with the verbal (fatty, fatty two by four...) and moving on to constant threats of violence. No,

Comments

[carmy_w]

I posted a link on my facebook last week about the guy who charged on to the school bus to protect his daughter. I said then, and I still say, that if he didn't lay a finger on anyone, he didn't do a darn thing wrong. Concerning high-level bullying, I've never heard of anything stopping a bully except for either the person being bullied striking back, either verbally or physically, or else someone with more strength and power scaring the crap out of the bully. And that's sad, to me; I can't understand why kids don't have more empathy for one another.
I'm glad that schools are starting to really get down on this stuff; it's about time. It seems to me that all it takes is for a teacher to tell a first grader that he/she is being mean to classmates, and stop it. When the prevention starts that young, you never run into the problem (I wish). So why is it so hard for teachers to reprimand kids, and why is it so easy to ignore the tears?
I feel that I was extremely lucky growing up. I was one of those odd kids, and I was teased a lot, but that was the extent of it; just verbal, no physical. I hid in my books, and didn't really associate much with anyone. I also went to a very small public school in the midwest; we were one of the last public schools to stop prayers in the classrooms. Most of our parents' were of the opinion that if we got in trouble at school, we were going to be in worse trouble when we got home. I can remember one fight at school, in my sophomore year.
I have a lot of problems with the way schools handle things now, though. For one, I firmly believe that if a kid, who doesn't start a fight, defends herself in a fight, she shouldn't be suspended. I've thought this was wrong since the day I first saw it. It promotes the idea of not fighting back, and I feel it is every child's right to defend herself. If defending oneself is ok physically, it might be easier for the bullied kids to defend themselves verbally....

[tapati]

Yes, kids ought to be allowed to defend themselves.

And verbal abuse is just as damaging as any other form. Some feel that it is worse. Bruises heal quickly but words haunt us for years.

I think in addition to hard core consequences for bullying there needs to be mandatory counseling as a condition of remaining in school. It is not uncommon for bullies to be expressing pain of parental neglect or abuse, not being able to strike back at the parent. Bullies need counseling and better coping mechanisms for their own anger and low self esteem issues. We need to work on this from both ends.