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[tamago23]

I'll be honest, it freaks me the hell out that on a post on debunkingwhite, my guide was listed as the first LJ resource re: learning about racism, and the link was listed as being from another comm's guide. I guess it freaks me out because I keep realizing over and over how very fucking clueless I am about racism - how I'm still making all these common white

Comments

[the_axel]

Sorry to derail the post but are youDCing it tonight?

[tamago23]

LOL, no worries, you can derail in my eljay anytime. ;) Still trying to decide. It's harder to get out when I can't go straight from work. OTOH, I only have a couple chances to see my friends before I leave to Cali for a couple weeks, so. :/ I'm leaning toward going, but we'll see how long it takes for me to get Connor down for bed.

[kettunainen]

additional derail: still interested/able to visit tomorrow?

[tamago23]

Indeed! I get up around 10 AM, I could probably have Connor and me out of here by 11, get to your place at 12 or so?

[kettunainen]

I think it's awesome that it was listed and listed first because it was a really fantastic piece of writing. This doesn't automatically mean that you're perfect all the time when it comes to race issues and conversations, though I can totally see how it might feel that way and therefore underline how inadequate you feel about this. You're human and always learning and processing and figuring things out.

At least you're *aware* that you still have more work to do and more or less where that work lies (lays? fuckittootiredtocheck). And you're miles and miles and miles ahead of most whiteys on the topic. And at least you give a shit about it.

*hugs*

[tamago23]

Basically I realized that I'm having a hell of a lot of trouble accepting that I'm going to fail at being an ally on a regular basis, and I derail conversations sometimes, and I fuck things up; that yes, I "get" the intellectual aspect of racism and can explain it to other whiteys, but I'm still a fuckin' clueless newb when it comes to actually _discussing_ it with PoC; in short, that I'm not as enlightened as I want to be, and I still act damned White(tm) on a regular basis. AUGH. It triggers all my inferiority complexes. And see, there, I just made it all about me. DOUBLE AUGH. Anyway. I'm working through that in my head so I hopefully manage to make it less about me when participating in race discussions

[kettunainen]

It's so hard when we realize we've got a LOT further to go than we thought. :( Plus, yeah, I can totally see the added difficulty of feeling pressure because of how your primer was received.

I think it's difficult when attempting to relate effectively to a PoC because it goes against how we naturally relate to each other. When we share and empathize, a lot of it is bringing in our own experiences. But when we do that with a PoC, it's derailing and making it about us white folk, which isn't really where we thought we were going with it, but that's how it's perceived. So it's even more difficult because we can't do what we naturally want to do -- relate things back to our own experiences because those experiences are always rooted in us being white/female/etc.

That's my theory anyway.

I feel for ya. *hugs*

[miss_colombina]

One of the quotes you gave me has been pivotal to my understanding of racism. The one "Racism = racial prejudice plus the systemic misuse of power" . Even though I knew before that there is a difference between the n word and the honky word, I couldn't figure out what it was. Another thing I've learned from you is about autism. I had serious prejudice and still probably have about autism, but my prejudice has been seriously shaken thanks to you. Whatever you think about yourself, try to keep this in mind.