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[tamago23]

I'll be honest, it freaks me the hell out that on a post on debunkingwhite, my guide was listed as the first LJ resource re: learning about racism, and the link was listed as being from another comm's guide. I guess it freaks me out because I keep realizing over and over how very fucking clueless I am about racism - how I'm still making all these common white

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[tamago23]

Basically I realized that I'm having a hell of a lot of trouble accepting that I'm going to fail at being an ally on a regular basis, and I derail conversations sometimes, and I fuck things up; that yes, I "get" the intellectual aspect of racism and can explain it to other whiteys, but I'm still a fuckin' clueless newb when it comes to actually _discussing_ it with PoC; in short, that I'm not as enlightened as I want to be, and I still act damned White(tm) on a regular basis. AUGH. It triggers all my inferiority complexes. And see, there, I just made it all about me. DOUBLE AUGH. Anyway. I'm working through that in my head so I hopefully manage to make it less about me when participating in race discussions.

But yes, being aware that I have a lot of progress still to make, and that that progress needs to be made, is definitely a step in the right direction. :) At least I'm starting to run the marathon, because goodness knows there's certainly plenty of other white people standing at the starting line saying, "What marathon? I don't see any marathon."

I know the guide has been helpful to people, and I'm very glad about that. I guess I'm just scared because I don't want people to see me as some sort of uber-enlightened person on the subject, because I'm becoming very aware that when I said "slightly less clueless", the emphasis should be on slightly. Ah, life. It's a work in progress, as am I.

[kettunainen]

It's so hard when we realize we've got a LOT further to go than we thought. :( Plus, yeah, I can totally see the added difficulty of feeling pressure because of how your primer was received.

I think it's difficult when attempting to relate effectively to a PoC because it goes against how we naturally relate to each other. When we share and empathize, a lot of it is bringing in our own experiences. But when we do that with a PoC, it's derailing and making it about us white folk, which isn't really where we thought we were going with it, but that's how it's perceived. So it's even more difficult because we can't do what we naturally want to do -- relate things back to our own experiences because those experiences are always rooted in us being white/female/etc.

That's my theory anyway.

I feel for ya. *hugs*

[miss_colombina]

One of the quotes you gave me has been pivotal to my understanding of racism. The one "Racism = racial prejudice plus the systemic misuse of power" . Even though I knew before that there is a difference between the n word and the honky word, I couldn't figure out what it was. Another thing I've learned from you is about autism. I had serious prejudice and still probably have about autism, but my prejudice has been seriously shaken thanks to you. Whatever you think about yourself, try to keep this in mind.

[tamago23]

Thank you. <3 I'm trying hard to keep my own personal issues from overshadowing the fact that I _have_ done some good... because I know it would be a damn shame to let my "it's all about meeeeeeee!" complex prevent me from doing what other good I can manage to do. :) And I've had a fair number of people comment or message privately and tell me that my guide was helpful to them (often in the context of "I still disagree with XYZ, but ABC really opened my eyes" - but hey, progress has to start somewhere). We all do what we can, and hopefully don't screw up too much alongside. ;)