The child vessel

[nairiporter]

I recently learned about the deeply moving story of the mother of a 2-grade pupil at the school where I am deputy principal, who had recently become a surrogate mother. Maybe because I have an adopted child myself, a 5 year old boy from Haiti, it struck a chord. This woman is a poor white Afrikaner from the suburbs of the big city, someone who has

Comments

[mahnmut]

Seen from another angle, surrogacy could be viewed as related to organ donoring. There's a slippery slope argument that could be made that this is the first step to a mass phenomenon where poor people would be renting their uteri for cash. Including a risk of the emergence of a grey market, with all the nasty stuff involved - like children trade, womb trade, blackmail, illegal surrogate pregnancies carried out inside obscure hospitals in horrible hygienic conditions, and of course some guys becoming filthy rich in the process.

It's not a simple black and white Yes/No issue, that's for sure.

Meanwhile, there are millions of orphan kids like your boy who would have appreciated being adopted by someone loving and caring with a stable social status like yourself, and being given a shot at having a better life...

[nairiporter]

Yes, I can see where that argument is coming from. And there is something else.

Too often this issue is viewed through the prism of "what happens to the mother". For instance: what happens to the mother if she gives birth to a child with disabilities. What if the host family decides to tear down the contract and quit the adoption? OK, they pay the fine, then what. Etc.

And the focus of the issue should be on the third side - the most important one. The child. Would such a child be growing up feeling normal if he or she knows how they came to the world

[dwer]

Time for hard questions. AM I JUST A PRODUCT OF A COMMERCIAL CONTRACT?

No more so than you are from the contract two people sign when they get married.

Surrogacy is simply another method of childbirth. Children born from surrogate mothers are no more different from other children than children born of IVF transfers, or adoption, or "average" pregnancy.

[nairiporter]

Like I said, if the child is born out of mutual consent between the sides involved, I would have no problem with that. I would like to believe that the child would have your enlightened view on things too, once he or she comes upon these questions about their origin. Because at some point, they inevitably will.

[airiefairie]

It is an issue without a best answer, yes. What is most important at this point is to come up with adequate laws that would regulate surrogacy and protect both the mother and the child, and the family who will be looking after the child. The relevant legislation should be evolving with the development of science and technology, because new cases and tougher precedents will continue to appear as new issues arise, and society should be prepared. This can be achieved through an open dialogue that would result in making informed decisions. And unfortunately, so far most of what I have seen has been yelling.

[dwer]

I'm sorry, but my attitude is that this is no one's business but the people involved.

My son is the result of IVF, and we have another one on the way. It took at least four people to create either. Had we needed a surrogate, we would not have thought twice about it.

This is no different than the right to an abortion. It is a woman's body, it is her choice. If she's being forced, then it's not her choice.

Simple.

Surrogacy is just one more way of having a child, and children born that way are no more born of a commercial contract than children conceived and born the average way. The contract specifies the rights of the PARENTS to both protect the mother and father AND the surrogate. Also simple.

I reject arguments against the morality of surrogacy. I reject arguments against almost any method of having a child. Choice consent are what's most important. Germany needs to pull their heads out of their asses.

[a_new_machine]

Ehh, this isn't like abortion, though. This is more like going to a woman who's pregnant and offering her thousands of dollars to abort her kid (though even that's inexact). In fact, I'd say the closest comparison to this is actually prostitution: a woman is selling access to her body for money. It certainly can be done in a non-exploitative way, but the potential for coercion, especially for low-income women, is rampant. It's something to be wary of, because the economic involvement makes for some rather more twisty moral choices than I think you're allowing.

And, as nairiporter points out, there's still the question of the child here, aside from any questions about the woman's rights.

[dwer]

Surrogacy has no comparison to prostitution. It's not access to the woman's body for sexual reasons.

What questions could there possible be about the child? It's a child. An IVF child take an RE, an embryologist, and others
to make. My IVF child is no different than any other child.

As I said above, it's CHOICE and CONSENT. Coercion is neither of those things. Require that women who do it be not coerced. None of these other "issues" are relevant.

[nairiporter]

I don't see what you should be sorry for about your attitude.

[mutive]

Everything is tough, right

[root_fu]

Good post.

[nairiporter]

Thanks, but I would be more interested in your opinion than your praise. ;-)