Looking For Flatmate

[geniusrita]

[A notice has been pinned to the central noticeboard of the town in neat, rigid handwriting.]

Looking for Flatmate

Single room. Utilities included.

- No smokers.
- No dogs.
- No idiots.
- No children.
- No cosplayers.
- No Raven.

3,000 Gald per month (bills excluded).
Must be clean, tidy, quiet, non-stupid.

See Rita Mordio if interested.
Time-wasters will be

Comments

[schwannoltorain]

[Schwann rips one of the tear off slips. He can dream can't he?]

[geniusrita]

[Guess who is standing right behind him.]

[schwannoltorain]

[Oh crap he got caught.]
I have a house anyway...

[geniusrita]

Want me to list the ways you don't fit the criteria?

Or the ways I'm going to hurt you?

[washtubs_hmm]

[What the- Yet another ridiculous notice? This one isn't as bad as the wedding invitation, but... "Time-wasters will be destroyed"? Mercenary!Kratos will just stare.]

[lunahavoc]

Hmm... [Judith takes one of the slips off the door.]

I could do with a place to stay here. I seem to fit all the requirements.

[geniusrita]

Oh, it's you.

I should have put "must love Blastia" as a requirement.

[She stomps up to Judith and looks up. Glare, glare, glare.]

[lunahavoc]

Oh but there's no fun in destroying anything other than Hermes blastia. That would be a waste!

[geniusrita]

Right, right.

(... urgh, those are big.)

So... if you were to stay with me, would you be bringing any... special Krityan nutritional food? Or something along those lines?

[She flips open a notepad.]

[sfujibayashi]

[Sheena snags one of the slips from the paper and pockets it.

Hey, can't hurt to look, and she doesn't want to sleep on any more living room floors.]

[geniusrita]

(Urgh, why do they all have bigger ones than me?)

So... what's your story, ninja girl? Says here in the Monster Book that you're a "Clumsy Assassin".

[sfujibayashi]

[She jumps in surprise, then fixes a slightly narrow-eyed stare at Rita.]

H-hey! I'm not clumsy, I just - fall down holes sometimes.

[geniusrita]

Yes, that would certainly be the technical definition.

On an unrelated note, could you take a step to your left?

[tinycommandant]

[Guess who's also snatching one of the slips? It's more for future reference than anything else, though. He is looking at the requirements with a rather amused expression, though.]

Rather high standards for a simple flatmate. [Although he'd... probably agree with about 4 of these. Possibly 5. Hm.]

[geniusrita]

What's a little pipsqueak like you thinking?

[tinycommandant]

My, aren't we rude today. Honestly, though, you've got a very low chance of running into someone who meets all of these requirements here, unfortunately. [Hm... wait.]

...So your name is Rita Mordio, yes? [Have a totally innocent smile, Rita~]

[geniusrita]

Yeah, I am.

And excuse me for having standards.