Personal Post: Big Girls Don't Cry/Mom Issues

[tabloidscully]

Being back in Kansas City was fun, but I can also say I'm relieved to be home, for the most part. I also find myself amazed that two weeks was just not enough time to see everyone--I regret that I wasn't able to see Dionne or Meg, for example, nor was I able to go to Dave and Buster's. But what I did experience, I enjoyed, and most of the people I

Comments

[devilgrrl]

We've had to do this with my MIL. We chose to send her a letter, advising her that as much as we wanted her as part of her life, her behaviour was harmful to us and our marriage and we outlined things we needed her to do if she wanted to remain part of our life. Our therapist had advised us to write it so that she couldn't claim we left things out later or that we didn't make it clear.

She did not respond positively and as a result, remains only a fringe part of my husband's life. She has not been told about the baby, will not be told until right before we have her, is not welcome in our home nor do we go to hers, and her interactions with our daughter will be limited to public places until she can prove she can behave like a rational person.

Good luck. I know this was hard for us before the baby is on the way and I can't imagine how much harder it is for you to make these choices now.

[tabloidscully]

Do you mind sharing the letter, or the bullet points of what you communicated as part of your expectations for her to be part of your lives?

It's awful when parents refuse to be adults. Of course, if I had to guess, your mother-in-law is like my mother in that they have never actually been adults. My mother has always been a selfish child who put her needs ahead of those of her children.

You found out it is a girl?? Why did I think you were expecting a baby boy (oh, pregnancy). You're further along than I am, right?

[blinkerbook]

I would write a note, if only because it sounds like phone conversations with her are really stressful for you. (And, as DevilGrrl said, having it writing could be helpful)