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Comments 37

taekarado July 24 2012, 19:42:56 UTC
Now Ms. Granger shall be singing S&M by Rihanna.
at that line i literally did a spit-take. i wasnt even drinking anything and i still did one!! i didnt even know that was physically possible!

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szaleniec1000 July 24 2012, 20:09:09 UTC
I know what you mean. I only vaguely know the song, and it's still one of Talent!Hermione's more WTF ones. It's just a shame she didn't do the remix version, because she could have brought Neville back for the rapping bits.

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fly_buggy_fly July 24 2012, 21:18:55 UTC
I now realize I had made the hugiest mistake of my like by ever letting her go in the first place

Hugiest!

I want to know why the author seems to think words like "sees" and "hears" need apostrophes in them.

Annnnnnd I'd bet my meager savings the author has also never had sex, had any one go down on her or given a blow job, because that was a whole lot of yawn and the very generic porn you find in fanfics of authors who've never had sex.

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szaleniec1000 July 24 2012, 21:28:20 UTC
Yeah, "hugiest" gave me a right giggle but I couldn't think of a good joke to hang on it.

Probably the same reason a lot of people think plurals do. Not that I know what that is either.

I get that impression too. Generic is the right word: they could literally be replaced with any two characters with the same genitals and you wouldn't notice any difference. It's like the literary equivalent of doodling on a toilet wall.

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fly_buggy_fly July 24 2012, 21:32:42 UTC
If I can dive into TMI Zone here...

If that is her first time getting tongued -and if he's doing it right- it would be A LOT more intense than that. And the author would know it.

...Though maybe she does. She's awful at description, anyway.

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szaleniec1000 July 24 2012, 21:51:40 UTC
That I can believe, yes.

The giveaway for me was that even with the first-person narration it looked suspiciously like an outsider POV. That to me doesn't say "writing from personal experience" so much as "writing from what she saw in a porno", because I'd expect someone writing from experience to be more focused on what it feels like than what a notional camera would pick up. A sex scene is one of the worst places to have a POV lapse because the intensity of the situation makes it very, very noticeable when we're not in the character's head any more.

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sickbritkid2 July 24 2012, 22:56:05 UTC
"Okay everyone the next song I'll be singing is from a tv show called Glee, the song is called Loser Like Me.

And to top off the stupidity and frustration: a song from a show that I fervently despise...

...great.

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szaleniec1000 July 24 2012, 23:33:18 UTC
Are you at all surprised, though? I mean, the influence is obvious even to someone who doesn't watch it.

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sickbritkid2 July 24 2012, 22:57:11 UTC
I missed the part where they have Sky in the dorms.

Well, we ARE talking about a ubiquitous television network owned by Rupert Murdoch...

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szaleniec1000 July 24 2012, 23:43:46 UTC
Heh. This is true.

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sickbritkid2 July 24 2012, 23:00:40 UTC
This would be lousy foreshadowing even if there was anything between this line and the revelation.

And by God, this chapter's reiterated the same shit("I'm gonna make Draco regret his idea for a break!") a good THREE TIMES, now!!

The fact that we're skipping through swaths of what are supposed to be these final chapters is more than telling.

There inane twaddle and then there's Hermione's Talent.

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szaleniec1000 July 24 2012, 23:43:14 UTC
It's like Hogwarts Exposed without the plot. And, to be fair, without the paedophilia, ephebophilia, bodily functions, torture porn and nudist propaganda too. But still with the rape, because this is a mature story for mature people, look, it's got an M rating and everything!

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