This hurts far worse than I imagined it would

So I'm sorta pissy today. Not sure why, well, sorta but eh, telling everyone wouldn't do any good so I'm not going to bother. Just frustrated. Frustrated about the things that *I* cannot change and yeah, sure, say I shouldn't worry about them or care but, damn it, I do. so whatever. Birthday tomorrow. I dunno, not really even in the mood for it. I ( Read more... )

So yeah, reading my last entry. So uhh, I should just stop talking. I sound ridiculous when talking about Carl. So sappy. :P But anyways, just shoot me when I say I won't talk about feelings and then, do so anyways. Der......

I need to start studying again. Really, I do. So if anyone wants to get together, let me know.

Only 5 more days until my birthday. Kinda excited about it. We're going karaokeing in Ann arbor for a couple of hours, dinner and then, going to some bars. I hope we go to a bar that has a dance floor or something. Even though I have a feeling that it's just going to be Carl and I at the bar, I still think it will be fantastic. I'm going to be ( Read more... )

Just a quote I found. I like it ^.^
The dark is generous, and it is patient, and it always wins--but in the heart of its strength lies weakness: one lone candle is enough to hold it back.
Love is more than a candle.
Love can ignite the stars.

So things don't change. My family is still builshit. I have 30 days to find my own place or mom's kicking me out... or so she says. I really don't give a shit. I've already told her I'm not moving. But at the point, I want to. I dont' want to deal with her and her fucking crazy anger fits and nagging. and by nagging, I mean her going psycho because ( Read more... )

So uhh...my birthday is soonish and I've realized I've told no one what I want for it. It's possible that I won't get anything but that's alright. I just want to have a good time with everyone on my birthday so don't feel obligated to buy me something. But here's the list ( Read more... )

(11:44:57 PM) Jessi: I guess I don't really understand what you're having trouble with
(11:45:05 PM) Jessi: it sounds like you know what you want to do
(11:46:25 PM) Carl: I dont' want to fuck it up is the problem.
(11:46:40 PM) Carl: I just hate not knowing what is right. (11:46:53 PM) Carl: I dont' know anything about the politics of this world ( Read more... )

Can't sleep. obviously.

The one person who i want to be holding me, is the same person who's making me cry right now. Fucking hormones. Fucking stupid girl. Fucking awful knowledge. Fuck. this. feeling.

Someone should just shoot me now and get it over with.

Well, from the last post, I decided to attempt to talk to brian. I did, I want my best friend back. I want my witty, stupid, bakemono-like, cynical, great, funny, beat-you-up-cause-I-don't-have-a-come-back best friend back. I apoligized for the way things went wrong. There was just too much going on, too many wars to be fought and I was already ( Read more... )