Cowardly drive-by hatings

[swankivy]

Sometimes, when people don't know how to express themselves in acceptable, mature ways, they resort to word-based temper tantrums such as drive-by hatingsThinking their tantrums can never be traced to them, they go off with their snippy little rambles, venting their frustration in unacceptable ways. Attacking the character instead of the content

Comments

[ironwing100]

Well said. If only the rest of the online community felt that way.

[swankivy]

That's true, and historically I have actually been very kind to even very screwed-up people. Sometimes it's not their fault that they're screwed up. However, a line has to be drawn somewhere when someone is being an asshole, repeatedly, with a pattern of hurting people and then saying they're sorry, only to do it again after promising they wouldn't. Actions have to have consequences. I have to enforce them if I expect anyone to respond as if words have meaning.

[swankivy]

Heh. Well, I don't really know if I would use the term "evil" since it's kind of a loaded word, but . . . sitting down at a computer and deliberately searching out a person and constructing a message that you think will hurt them, on purpose, strikes me as pretty dickish.

[skygawker]

I can not understand at all what would make a person behave this way. Sadly, because you make yourself available, you're stuck being a magnet for people who can't do what you did but wish they could, and on top of that, do not know how to behave as a rational, mature adult. But your supporters cheer you on when you stand up to them!!

[swankivy]

That's true. And I have been known to give second, third, fourth chances to people. But when they repeatedly promise not to hurt me and then deliberately try to do so, I just have to remove myself from the situation. I learn through these experiences that some people do not or cannot mean what they say, so I can't believe the good things they say either. I'd love to be able to help people by being the unconditionally accepting friend, but that just hurts everyone more. By being accepting even when the other person is behaving UNACCEPTABLY, I teach them that unthinking, impulsive actions really don't have consequences. Sorry, but they do.