I am not sure how to start this post, but I suppose I can say that I am so tired of being where I am. Not even just physically here, but emotionally so. I always seem to find myself looking at something unavailable and it has drained me for years. I guess the only difference this time is how perfect it would be to have ( Read more... )

This weekend has been an eye opener. Internally I may be whole again. I may be more myself and who I am now than ever... but I still have a few fundamental things I need to repair. It is time I stopped having an unresponsive body and found the way to create proper communication between it and my mind. I have no idea where to start with this one, ( Read more... )

~Now the true progress starts~

I needed you to put yourself back together before we could ever hope to learn your true potential. Now that we've done that, let the real fun begin...This week... Man this week... It started off with a hard choice, to cut out the only consistent source of food for my hunger. It's ending with me seeing a friend that I ( Read more... )

She comes to me now, in my hour of deepest desire...

To give in is to gamble against very stacked odds.

Starving... Must feed... Arrgh...

~Important realizations~

"You two are more alike than you know. It'll do you both a lot of good to become close. I forged a link between you; now it is time to put it to use."She always told me that I was dangerous. Her words were, "You're like driving dangerously, everything is good until it's not". She saw it sooner than I did, but I did tell ( Read more... )

~Your World Will Shift~

"After you open this door with her, everything will change. You will ask yourself 'is this the path I want to walk?'"Sometimes the power I hold impresses even me. I spun a web to catch that which would bring stability to my shaking world... I never expected she could be that. I always imagined I'd need a lover to help with ( Read more... )

She held out her hand and invited me to take it. I froze. To most that may seem normal, but I have never been one to hesitate. So why did it stop me dead in my tracks?

I know I missed a big chance there, I felt the world change when I didn't. I am sure there will be more moments like that, but I am certainly a bit upset with myself right now.

Tonight marks the first night that I intentionally fed. It has always been something of who I am. A part of me I have mostly denied. I sustained myself for years with the subtle consumption of those emotions. It was reflexive then... Now... I am different. Now I am more myself than I have ever been ( Read more... )

Funny, I said to you before that I might salvage something at the bottom of the pit you left me in... Well, the time has come for me to savor the treasure that I found. With it I plan to beat you in a completely different way and I do not think there is much you can do to stop it ( Read more... )

~Trial by Fire~

"The first step in making this work is a sense of trust and comfort between the two of you. From there we can start the real training and learning."The lesson plan neglected to mention that building that comfort and trust would happen by forcing me to feel her emotions without even a moment of warning. It also failed to mention ( Read more... )