i've hit the wall with an explosion, while my insides cry out, crashing. crass and loud interior. an image of calm. what i wanted is someone, and this is not what i wanted.
fuck. missed my yearly "sure-thing" scholarship, so now i'm pretty sure i won't be doing any school this semester, which i'm sure will piss someone here off a whole bunch. i need money so bad, it's not even funny. fuck.
i haven't felt this way in awhile. just a complete...heaviness. i don't even know what caused it. i'm just sad, and don't want to do anything but lie in bed.
fuck this, seriously. every reason to be happy, but no, i feel dead.