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[sullen_hearts]

My mother's seeing someone. I keep remembering to write this post while I'm not at the computer then forgetting when I am, so since I'm here. It's been official for about two months now, I think? Yeah, probably since the very end of March

Comments

[psychokitten76]

Loff you xoxoxoxox

[lauratakeabow]

oh my god, that is totally not on about angela and kevin - firstly, how can they blame your mum in any way for what happened? and secondly, she doesn't deserve to be on her own, and since you're the most important person in her life and you accept it, then i don't see any reason why anyone else shouldn't. my mum was on her own for nearly 15 years after my dad died and she was a shell of a person. she was so unhappy and it was horrible to see. and, like you said, i'm sure your dad would want her to be happy, just as my dad would want my mum to be happy.

i feel very angry on your behalf. but these people clearly aren't worth it if they treat your mum this way. sometimes it takes a life-altering event to bring out just how fucking weird some people are.

xxxxxx

[sullen_hearts]

I know, it's ridiculous. I really think my dad wouldn't want her to be alone. They're not worth it, no, but 25 years of shared history is a long time, you know? But like I say, it's them who'll lose out because my mum just avoids them now, whereas Ian & Julie have met Norman and started to socialise with him and stuff.

Some people just can't see past themselves.

xxxxx

[lara_aine]

That's lovely to hear about your mum. And that he seems like such a decent guy. And fair play to you for being so okay with it, because I think you can believe strongly in the reasons you gave for it and yet still not be at a place emotionally where you're ready to deal with it. Given what you've all been through, leaving the relationship aspect aside, just having a new person involved in your lives can be difficult

[sullen_hearts]

Thank you :) And yes, he seems genuinely nice. And I think you're right and that's such a compliment, thank you.

She is amazing. And yes, embracing life isn't easy but it's either that or curl up and die and neither of us is ready for that quite yet.

It pisses me off because I know that if situations were reversed, she'd be so happy for Angela or Kevin if they were seeing someone new, you know? It's so dumb.

I haven't read that no, it sounds really interesting, I'd love to read it :)

She seems to be so far - every time she texts she has wine!

[calli_thaala]

I really admire you for how you feel about your mom starting to move on. I know it isn't entirely a conscious decision to feel that way or anything, but it shows an emotional maturity and that you're really made progress in dealing with your dad's death. <3

[sullen_hearts]

Thank you :) I just want her to be happy, you know? Sadly that's without my dad now... but she can still be happy, and she deserves it.

[ganimede]

I can't believe how appallingly those 'friends' have acted towards your mother. It really is true that at times of crises, you find out who your true friends are and that has nothing to do with how long you've known someone.

Oh, and I'm proud of you for being so supportive of your mother. This bit: "I can't demand that respect and then not give it back." is so true, and I'm really pleased that you understand that. So many people don't.

[sullen_hearts]

For absolutely real. They've been shocking. It's so annoying because I know in reversed situations she'd have been there for either of them all the way. They barely speak to her and the last time I saw them they didn't speak to me. Their 3 daughters see my mum all the time in the pub and are soooo much more mature about it.

Thank you :) I just know that when we got engaged when I was 17, my dad wasn't happy and Himself's parents weren't happy about, and they tried to persuade us out of it but my mother knew that even if it was the wrong decision I had to be allowed to make up my own mind and make that wrong decision. I think it's a lot to do with her being married before, she got married at just 18 and yes it failed but it was HER mistake to make, you know? She never said a word about it to me, just quietly supported me. I have to give the same back to her, it doesn't matter than I'm the child and she's the mother, you know?

[ganimede]

I've found from personal experience that just because you will be there for someone to help them in a crises does not mean that they will do the same for you. Some people are just selfish or thoughtless that way. Sad, but true. I'm glad that the daughters are better, maybe they'll show up their parents.

I presume that as your mother had already been in the same situation as you, she knew what was the right or wrong thing to say and/or do. I think that when you get older, and especially these days when there are lots of single parents for whatever reason, the child-parent relationship has different dynamics which can include the child supporting the parent as much as the other way around. It seems that there's a friendship base of some sort in that relationship as well, which wouldn't have happened in possibly your mother's generation but certainly earlier.