「The Tear Of Joy」《Chapter 12》
Title:: The Tear Of Joy
Pairing:: Ohno Satoshi/OC, Ohno Satoshi/Ninomiya Kazunari
Genre:: angst, romance, drama, office!au
Length:: chaptered
Word Count:: 6222 words
Rating:: PG-13
Slowly, he grabbed his jacket and dressed it while feeling his body so heavy and weak. What had he done? He wondered that non-stop that morning. He was just overwhelmed last night, why had he done such a thing? He only thought about bringing the child a warm family, but how could he be that with his wife after what he did with his boss? It was impossible he could lie the rest of his life. He was unable to love his wife again and without that love, that child would only suffer for having two parents who only pretended instead of living their lives. What would they teach with that behaviour? Once again he had chosen wrongly. Or maybe he just needed time to get used to it. Perhaps when the kid would be born, he would focus on his task as father, forgetting all the bad things and his life would shine more. He only needed to wait and be patient. The kid would be their salvation for sure.
“Darling, what's wrong?” she came in the room with a bento in her hands. He took it and smiled softly.
“Nothing. I just slept a bit bad” he lied as always and kissed her cheek. “I’m leaving” he could seem cold, even bothered and annoyed, but his mood was truly horrible that day. So having his wife near was not a good idea. That was why he took his shoes and came out of that house. Only at that moment, when he was starting to drive, Ohno remembered he would have to face Ninomiya in the company. What would happen? How would he look like after last night? Was he okay? Satoshi could recall how bad his expression was. His red eyes or tired complexion. How much had he hurt him? Enough not to forgive himself for sure. That was why he would go and just work. Forgetting he was there. Forgetting who he was. Forgetting all they had lived.
And he truly tried as hard as his strength could resist. But in the moment he met his boss in the office, face to face, his eyes stared at him as if he was a God, feeling how his world was tearing apart and the only salvation was to ask for forgiveness and confess how much he meant for him. But it was not possible. Because that was not what he chose to do. So he reacted even before Ninomiya could, who kept on admiring him back with very tired, red eyes. Had he slept properly? He doubted it. The first night was always the worst, both would be okay without each other. Satoshi was sure. That was why he bowed politely and surrounded him to walk to his desk and begin to work without looking at any other side. He was there to gain his paysheet every month by doing his duties, not to flirt with bosses. And he would limit him to do that in that building. It was easy.
*****
It was lunch time and he took his bento with him. Just when he was walking through the desks, one of his coworkers stopped him. “Did your wife do it?” she asked naïvely and Ohno nodded not wanting to give details or continuing that chat.
“I'm jealous! I want a pretty wife to do mine too!” another coworker approached to comment about it. The employee only laughed to fit it and follow their conversation, but he escaped as soon as possible, with the bad luck that when he turned around, Kazunari was there looking at him. Ohno could only gulp and bow to him again before walking away as fast as possible to reach the rooftop. Had he heard them? What did he think about it? His eyes seemed so dark and sad… Ohno could not feel not worried about him. After all it was his fault and that type of situations only worsened everything even more. He was deeply sorry for him. Because after all Kazunari did not deserve it.
Then, after sighing, he tried to stop thinking about him or he would not stop in the whole day and wondered if Jun would be there today. Yesterday they truly argued badly. He was not used to that with his friend and at least he wanted to apologize. When he finished going upstairs, he saw how Matsumoto was there, in the usual bench eating a sandwich. Satoshi approached it to sit without hesitation and opened his bento to start to eat the leftovers. He sighed. It was good but it lacked something. Possibly sincerity between them and that was something nobody could change. “Who did that bento?” suddenly, the voice of his friend scared him and Ohno glanced at him. How would he react?
“My wife” his answer was brief and low, maybe trying not to be hear on purpose. However, he did listen perfectly.
“What? Wasn't she-?”
“She came back earlier” he cut his question rudely. He truly did not want to talk about it.
“And why are you eating her bento?” Jun seemed pretty lost, mostly because Ohno had always rejected her bento since he started to flirt with Ninomiya. The employee only answered while looking at the sky.
“Is that odd?” he attempted to pretend to be a husband. But even that was not made for him.
“Considering you're cheating on her with the boss, yes” Matsumoto commented carelessly. This was the chance.
“I was cheating on her” he corrected that knowing he would understand it at the same second.
“What do you mean?” his voice sounded surprised. It was clear what he meant, but perhaps it seemed so impossible Jun needed to hear straight from his mouth.
“I broke up with him last night” he supposed that saying it would be easier, that it would not hurt that much, however he was so wrong. Another hole in his heart began to appear when he found the courage to say it.
“What?! Why?” he yelled by the surprise and the two friends looked at each other. Amazed gaze against defeated one. If Jun could read him, he would see how destroyed he was since the last night.
“I’m going to be father” he confessed and once again, the meaning of that word, the duty it implied was still too big for him. What would happen to that child? It seemed too much responsibility for only him.
“It’s a joke” that was the first comment he could say. “Are you really going to have a kid and you're this happy?!” Jun pointed out with sarcasm and Satoshi could only sigh. He did not reply to him. His friend did not say anything which needed to be replied. It was evident between them. “So you broke up with Ninomiya to focus on be a father. You chose her after all” he connected the pieces with amazed voice, as if he was more than surprised. Possibly he was thinking Satoshi was stupid for having given a second chance to his wife, but after all it was not because of her.
“I chose the child. A father is always needed” he excused himself. However, he could see how Jun shook his head and clicked his tongue. Even though he did not talk after. And that bothered Satoshi. Why did he not say it? “What?” he insisted to know. Jun just stood up.
“They are only needed if they will do their kid's life easier. Do you think that child will be able to be happy after all your marriage has suffered?” he asked while frowning. Satoshi had thought of that, he was still wondering it. What was the right path to take for that kid's sake.
“I still have eight months to build again what I broke” he assured while eating a bit of meat. Matsumoto only giggled disappointed.
“You? What did you break?”
“My marriage” he answered at the next second. Why was he caring that much?
“Ah, no. She was the one who has always messed up everything” he blamed his wife carelessly.
“I did it too by flirting with Ninomiya” Satoshi tried to get the guilt too, because after all he had it too. He was not an angel. His acts had been horrible.
“But that was because she was a bad wife and didn’t take care of you” Jun continued trying to have the reason and show him all the fault was hers when if it was evident he had searched for it too.
“Even if she had been the best wife of this world, I would have done the same with Kazunari!” Satoshi confessed with all his might. His look was down, not daring to raise it and find Jun there. “The problem is not her. It's me…” he muttered before a tear fell on the food. Having realized that the only person he wanted beside him was his boss was the last thing he needed to regret completely what he did last night.
Slowly, Jun kneeled in front of him. “That’s how you love him, right?” his gaze was worried. So Ohno chose to nod while looking at the nowhere. His friend only removed his bento from his legs to place it on the bench and hugged him as tight as he could. The employee widened his eyes at first, but at the next second he returned it to sob lowly against his shoulder. It hurt so badly. His whole being was suffering as nothing in that world. And he only wanted to cry it out and feel better, but even after sobbing for almost the whole lunch, his chest still felt that pressure inside. How would he be able to overcome such a pain? No matter how much he lied to himself, there was no possibility to learn how to live with it. It hurt too much to be real.
“Yesterday, I was going to confess, Jun” he cried out with his eyes closed by so many tears falling. “I was going to tell him I was ready to forget her if he loved me” his breath was truly irregular and that made his words to be spoken vaguely. “Why then? Why did I break up?” he regretted aloud, feeling how that was the worst thing he had ever done. How much he was suffering could be compared to nothing. There was no existent pain which could be even closer to what he was feeling since last night. It was like someone had ripped his heart out. How was he able to stop it?
“Because you're a good father, Ohno. That's why you chose the kid before yourself” Matsumoto spoke tenderly. Somehow he was helping him to remember the main reason why he chose his family. And once he had it clear in his mind again, he was able to stop his weeping slowly and calm down. Usually nobody watched him like that, nevertheless he was really destroyed by that situation.
“Will I forget him someday?” he asked with husky voice. His friend looked down.
“I wish I could say yes”
*****
That day was raining so hard. No umbrella. Just a briefcase to cover his suit and not be wet the whole day in the office. He ran the small path between the parking and the building. It was enough to get his jacket quite useless, but it was hot so he would be okay without it. Then, he started to greet all the usual people in the hall with a fake smile. He was not able to be sincere yet. Even if two weeks had gone by already, the pain was still too strong every time he had to go to work and bow to him without being able to look at his eyes. He wondered how much it would last. His mind started to be confused and tired by handling such stress everyday. If he could forget… He remembered Jun's words.
I wish I could say yes…
What did he mean? He could read between lines and get a lot of meanings but knowing well his friend, he knew no one of them was the correct. Would he never be able then? He needed to ask him. Because even after two weeks, he was still wondering its meaning as crazy and somehow that made him do constant circles around the same subject. He was stuck in it no matter how many days would go by. Stuck in Ninomiya every time he met his boss in the office, every time they had to work together, every time they had to talk. Satoshi felt he was going to become crazy if that situation continued. His desire of throwing himself to his arms was so complicated to calm down. More when Kazunari wore those glasses or when they found each other alone. He did not know how he could handle it successfully. His heart still craved for his love.
But now, the only thing he could do was sitting down and working non-stop, his old habit came back. Working not to think. Even if it seemed okay at first, it was not effective anymore. Maybe because Ninomiya was ten meters away from him or because it was still too recent, but this time, working was not the solution. And he wondered what he could do to at least focus for thirty minutes straight. Otherwise, he would give up on working correctly. His mind was already suffering too much that he felt powerless, defeated. The tiredness reflected in his eyes. And possibly that was noticed by his boss every time they looked at each other as Satoshi did. He had never seen such a sad gaze in his life. And unconsciously, he muttered an apology each time he dared to look into his almond eyes.
He wondered how long it would be, when it would end… That pain inside of his chest, how much time it would keep there making breathing harder than under the water. Sometimes he needed to even stop because of it, exactly like this moment after having thought too much. Satoshi had just stood up to catch a glass of water and all his mind was wondering made it come back, that was why he stayed two seconds more in front of the water machine. When he believed he was okay, his body was turned around and he found someone rushing to his direction. At that time, as both tried to move to different sides, Ohno raised his eyes and found Kazunari. The time stopped at the same exact second Satoshi realized that strange bright into his gaze. Was he… happy? Indeed, he was carrying his jacket with him, where was he going? The employee only saw how his boss turned the corner and disappeared without looking back. He could not understand it. How could he have that brightness? Was he not suffering anymore? Everything seemed as falling over him. Was he the only stupid one there?
Slowly, he returned to his desk and sat, he should work, but his eyes kept looking at the screen while his hands were doing nothing. How could Ninomiya? He was completely unable. Unable to smile without faking it.
*****
A big noise woke him up suddenly. His face hurt too much when he attempted to raise his head. Ohno only noticed why when he looked down to find a notebook and pens around. Had he fallen asleep? When? How? What time was it? His wrist was showed to search for his watch and see how late it was. Then, he glanced at the rest of the office and no one was there. Why did nobody call him? Satoshi decided to tidy his desk, put his things into his briefcase and turn off his computer to stand up and place his chair correctly. Only when he headed to the exit, his eyes noticed how there was still one light on. It was his boss's. Had he returned? When? Was he still working at that hour?
He was so curious and somehow worried that he approached hesitantly to peek inside and see what he was doing. However, what he found broke his heart a bit more. Kazunari was sat on his chair, one of his hands holding his glasses and the other covering his eyes. His ears could hear how he was sobbing slightly while his fingers dried all the tears which fell uncontrollably. Then, Satoshi looked down to find a folder on the floor. Had that been the noise which woke him up? Had he thrown it against the wall? Why? What was wrong? “Ninomiya” he spoke his name with trembling voice from the threshold. At the next second, his boss raised his head, panicking for some reason and turned around.
“What do you want?” Kazunari replied rudely, his voice being a bit drowned. How much had he been crying? Satoshi was feeling a hole inside of him. He did not know why, but he preferred to see how he was happy as that morning instead of that sad. That was why he entered the office and approached the desk.
“Why are you crying?” he asked showing his concern. How much he worried about him yet.
“Not your business” his answer was fast and harsh. Possibly wanting to make it clear how he desired to be alone. However, Ohno would not go that easily. He had to break that distance between them and their hearts to be told what happened. That was why he surrounded the desk and placed himself right in front of Kazunari by kneeling on the floor. He knew his acts were so out of place, that he would regret it, breaking their limit as employee and boss. But if that was in exchange of helping him, it was worth it.
“I’ve only seen you crying once. Is he okay?” he remembered his friend. He knew how hard it was for him and how he regretted it. If something bad had happened to Masaki, Kazunari would be destroyed for sure. Ninomiya only frowned and set his own gaze aside. Did that mean he was right? Satoshi's stomach turned upside down suddenly. “Hey” he tried to catch his attention by caressing his cheek, but hastily it was grabbed strongly to refuse his touch.
“He has just woken up. Now, go away” his rude way to talk to him was too painful indeed, so Satoshi did not know why he kept there, without moving a single part of his muscles until he was brave enough to approach and hug him by his neck. His breath was stopped for the first seconds, feeling how his heart was pounding so hard. Possibly, instead of helping him, Ohno was just hurting his boss more and more. He was so selfish, but what could he do? Going away without even asking? Would it not be worse? He needed to be sure he would be okay without him.
“Then, why are you crying? It's fantastic he-“
“It's not!” suddenly, he yelled and Ohno broke the hug to look at him.
“Why?” the employee tried to know; he was sure something was wrong. Otherwise Kazunari would not have reached the limit of crying.
“Why should I tell you?” Ninomiya spat carelessly and Satoshi smiled bitterly.
“Because I will always be here for you… Even if it's not in the way we both want” his words were so sincere that even he himself was surprised and overwhelmed by them. He knew he was just mixing everything more and more, but leaving was impossible, if Kazunari was this broken, it was not possible at all. Slowly, his boss caressed his cheek and approached. A second after, their noses were touching, smelling each other's breaths. Satoshi could feel how he was going to kiss him and he wondered how he could stop that. He was unable to move backwards, however at the same time he knew that kiss would break the wall he built between them. “Don’t do it, please…” he begged with weak voice. Then, Kazunari bit his lower lip before moving forward to kiss his cheek. Ohno closed his eyes, yearning for those lips as a crazy. How thin but tender they were… He desired to taste them endlessly. And the temptation of turning his head and kissed him was there, however, he just felt how Kazunari leaned his forehead on his shoulder.
“He’s not okay at all…” finally, he spoke regarding his friend. Ohno rubbed his hair to support him meanwhile. “After a year in comma, now he can't move at all, he can't eat or speak, almost even breathe by himself… I've ruined his life…” he sobbed hard at the end and it was like a knife cut Ohno's stomach and was moved inside. How much was he suffering? Without a doubt, Satoshi's arms were wrapped around his back to hug him as tight as possible.
“You haven't, he's strong, he will-“
“I did!” what shocked Ohno was not the shout, but how strong Kazunari grabbed his clothes during the embrace. “I was driving that day, I couldn’t notice the truck because I was drunk. I tried to dodge it when it was so late and the truck hit the back part of the car, exactly where Masaki was” he told the story straight as if he needed to tell it. Ohno stayed there completely shocked by it. Had he been the one who caused the accident because he was drunk? How could he take the car if he had drunk?
“What's done, it's done” he spoke suddenly, probably talking to his boss and himself at the same time. It was not time to scold him because it was pretty evident he had learned from it. “The important thing is that he has woken up and even if now he is like this, he can recover and be 100% okay someday” his voice was tender, spoken beside his ear while his hands rubbed his back slowly. After a few seconds since he talked, Ohno could feel a nose rubbing his neck when Ninomiya cuddled up in his arms. He was being really affectionate at that moment and somehow Satoshi was falling in his claws. Possibly he would never be safe if he was close because Kazunari could affect him more than anyone else could and that was his worst enemy there.
Moving backwards, Ninomiya broke the hug to look at his with red eyes and caress his cheek softly while his thumb was rubbing his lower lip. “Can’t I really kiss you?” he asked with the beg reflected in his pupils. Ohno gulped, being tempted again by that God in front of him, a few inches separating them. However, he knew that if they kissed at that moment, all that pain and suffering would have been useless, that was why he shook his head with a bittersweet smile.
“No, it's better like this” he dried a tear across his cheek with his index finger and stood up. Kazunari kept sat on his chair, leaned on the back of it with his gaze lost in the nowhere. Ohno brushed his hair a bit. “Are you better?” his question was totally naïve provoked by his concern. His boss nodded with that unsure aura untypical of him.
“Yes, thank you” his voice seemed huskier than before. Was he truly better? Somehow, he was doubting it. Something inside of him was telling him that Kazunari was as broken as never before. And frustration filled his body when he noticed he could do nothing. “Go home, it's so late” Ninomiya recommended him and the employee nodded, feeling so embarrassed there at that point of the conversation. As he thought he would regret it. How was he able to look at his face from that moment on? It was so uncomfortable. Mainly because his eyes pierced his soul every time their gazes crashed. And it hurt. How he was able to look at him like that hurt him way too much and sometimes Ohno was so lost about what he should do in front of him. He felt so vulnerable his whole being was exposed and powerless. That was why he muttered a farewell and left the office as fast as he could.
I can't bear this feeling near you… I think I die at any moment if I stay by your side without showing how much I love you…
*****
The weeks went by slowly, so slowly Ohno hated it. Somehow he wanted the child to be born as soon as possible to finally be able to focus on taking care of the baby and forget all his problems. Because if he was like until now, his mind could only think of just one person and it was being harder. The more days he handled near him, the weaker he became. And that was the last thing he had to allow. He could not lose his composure now that he was getting to be just boss and employee with him. Less that night in his office, they had just behaved like how they had to in that building. And even if that was a big achievement, he was sad because that meant how nothing was going to happen between them again and his body craved for his closeness at least five seconds more. If he could have just one last time, one last night with him to show him his true feelings and how pure his actions were, maybe that heaviness in his heart would disappear a bit. Those regrets of not having told him would go away. However now he had to keep in silence because saying them would only cause more pain to suffer for both. Once again.
That was why he tried to keep working in that building no matter if the person he desired to be with was there, in front of him talking with his coworker. His eyes stared at him for some seconds, taking the risk of being discovered by Kazunari or some employee else. For that reason, he kept on glancing at him to admire that complexion he liked to feel under his hands, that jaw he loved kissing, those eyes which mesmerized his whole being, that soft hair which was so nice to grab when he was in the climax… Because of thinking those things, he started to breathe irregularly and feel hot so he had no other choice rather than standing up to go to the bathroom to wash his face with cold water.
When he opened the door, he found Jun there and they greeted each other. Then, Ohno opened the tap and cleaned his face of sweat. His hands grabbed the sink to close his eyes and breathe deeply. Suddenly a hand caught his shoulder and Ohno jumped by the scare. “Hey, what's wrong?” his friend asked, both looking at each other across the mirror in front of them. Ohno took a look around them, assuring the toilets were empty and decided to talk.
“When you said that you wished you could say I'll forget him someday, you were right, it's impossible, I think I will become crazy…” he turned around to lean his butt on the sink and brushed his both eyes desperately. They had not talked about him since that day and Jun did not know how Satoshi was regarding it until that moment so he kept thoughtful for a few seconds. After it, one of his hands was placed on his shoulder.
“But did you understand what I wanted to say?” he asked while frowning. Ohno shook his head remembering how much he tried to decipher that sentence for days up to he gave up. “You can't forget him if firstly you don't want to, or am I wrong?” suddenly he asked with serious expression but being warm and close at the same time. Ohno opened a bit his mouth and stayed in shock. Did he want to forget him? Did he want Kazunari to remain in the past? Did he want to reach a day where Kazunari was just a mere fact of the past?
“No…” he answered aloud with tears in his eyes. “I don't want it… Not at all… How can I want such a thing?” he spoke while looking down full of new feelings inside of him, tons of new ones to bear them again. Would that stop someday? Would there be an ending for all of that? Days continued passing and he was worse and worse. There was no day Kazunari was not in his mind. There was no day he was able to have a small hope to return with him in the future. There was no day he did not realize how deep his love for him was. And that was destroying him harsher than what he expected at the beginning. He had never thought he would feel like that for someone and much less, he would have to suffer like that because he was unable to be with that person. That was why he got a girlfriend and married her thinking that was all his heart could feel inside. Thinking that love was just that nice sensation inside. Thinking that he knew already what being in love was when he had just reached the limit of liking someone. Only love appeared when his path met Kazunari’s and all he knew became upside down.
“Are you sure about this?” Jun asked with poker face. He had never known what his friend was thinking about him, about his relationship, his marriage or even about Kazunari himself. He had always helped him but without saying his opinion and Satoshi wondered how he could have done it.
“I’m not sure about anything already” he confessed with a knot in his throat. Everything was so complicated to choose and be sure about it without a single doubt. Also his confidence and trust did not allow him to choose without hesitation even once in his life. So when this type of situations occurred to him, it was like he had lost himself in the middle of the forest. Which way was the correct?
“I’ve never liked too much how Ninomiya treated you at first. But after, he changed… I don't know what happened in the hospital really, but he looked like another person” he commented, a strange comment Ohno was not used to. However, he had his answer.
“It happened that he met the real face of my wife. Probably, he just decided to take care of me because he felt sorry after watching how she behaved…” he explained remembering that clearly in his mind yet. How she just seemed as caring zero and how Kazunari even slept beside him. He could choose so wrongly, but he was clever enough to see who was worth it.
“No… Probably he thought how a person as awesome as you could have such a wife” Matsumoto clarified while his eyes were on Satoshi constantly. The latter chuckled tiredly and shook his head.
“What are you saying…” his amazement was too high to believe that. Jun did not know Kazunari as well as him.
“Who knows your wife, knows also you're stupid for staying with her” he confessed straight as always and Ohno opened his mouth reply. Nevertheless, he closed it realizing he was really stupid for giving her another chance now they were going to be parents. “You can be the same father beside her or beside him. The child will always be yours no matter who your lover is” his friend continued his speech of reasons and Ohno had clear Jun disliked Yoko pretty much. After he was cheated by her too, so no wonder in reality.
“You know she wouldn’t let me see the baby if we got divorced and much less if I start a relationship with my boss” Satoshi pointed out knowing how mean she could be when things did not go as she wanted and Jun nodded with a sigh.
“Probably. But then, will you live with her whilst your heart belongs to him?” he asked after leaning his butt on the next sink to cross his arms and stare at his lost friend, who was starting to think too much regarding all of that.
“Yes, that's the plan, so stop confusing me, please” Ohno closed his eyes by the tiredness and walked to the door for returning to his desk. Before he exited the toilets, Jun said a last thing.
“I just want you to be happy”
*****
After his talk with Jun, somehow he could focus more on what he was doing. It was like if after all that chat, he had decided more than never to stay with his wife and let him go finally. And since then, he was starting to progress nicely in his work and in his life in general. Indeed, meeting Kazunari everyday was still hard, but somehow he was able to not feel that pain inside of him and control his own mind. That was how a month went by and Satoshi felt the idea of being father better and better. He started to be even excited about the fact of being able to hug a baby and see how that small human grew up. He was discovering that not everything was as bad as he thought it was at first. And that somehow was giving him new hopes and good vibes to overcome that bad period of his life.
For that reason, he was becoming better in his job and he could do a normal life already. Going to work, returning home, taking care of his wife. He did not dislike it. That was how he ended up finally recovering from that harsh hit he had had regarding his boss. He had to say too that since Masaki woke up, Ninomiya did not stayed the whole day and lost a few hours some days to go to the hospital. He knew that because once Satoshi dared to ask him for his condition and his boss told him. But since then, they did not talk anymore and Satoshi was grateful with that.
So, as any other day, he was doing his work, focused on it and deeply desiring to reach the lunch time and eat his bento, he was truly starving. Then, in the middle of the morning, Kazunari got out of his office to call them all. “Listen to me. The next weekend I will have a business trip and I need someone to help me” after this, some people were already offering themselves, but Ninomiya did not even glance at them. “As he has worked already with this company, Ohno, I want you to come with me. I will give you the information in my office” he announced in front of everyone and Satoshi opened his mouth totally speechless. Why he?
“But-“ that was all he could say. He did not want to go, of course he did not want to. Not with him. Not a whole weekend. Why did he have to choose him? Was he trying to get a chance? That was impossible. The employee decided to approach the office and knocked on the door to come in. Only when it was closed again, he dared to speak. “Why me? You have 35 employees more and you have-“
“No one else has worked with this company less you. You know how it works plus you're so fast working. Don't think I choose you because of personal matters” Kazunari explained to him straight and without taboos. Ohno stayed there feeling embarrassed. Even like that, he did not want. Of course because a weekend beside him would be hell and now that he was beginning to be okay, he did not want all his efforts to be in vain.
“Can I still refuse?” he dared to ask and Ninomiya looked straight at him.
“You can. But do you think you will be able to continue working here if you don't stop mixing what you feel with your job?” his boss asked him with a severe voice and the employee looked away truly out of place. He was right, he was just mixing everything and maybe that was why he was unable to work completely okay there. In the other hand, Kazunari was so professional that he thought as a boss and even chose him to go with him because he trusted in his work and capacities. Then, how could he say no if Kazunari was giving his best to be as normal as possible?
“Okay… Tell where and when…” he accepted with his heart pounding.
“We will take a plane in Narita to go to Fukuoka on Friday’s morning, we will prepare the contracts on that evening and meet the president on Saturday's afternoon. We will come back on Sunday's morning. Don't worry about the hotel, I will book two different rooms” Kazunari explained with details. “I will give you the tickets tomorrow” while talking he seemed so professional, as his real boss, that Satoshi just smiled bitterly and turned around to exit that office as soon as possible. At the next second, he was wondering if he was going to be okay.
//Hi! I'm sorry for continuing this torture xD I love to write this angst, the one of being so close buuuut nooo xD Well, now, more info about Nino; Jun and Ohno's talk; a new trip together omg. The next chapter is my fav of the whole fic. Really. I loved writing it as nothing and I hope you will feel it. By now, enjoy this one and wait for the next! Thanks for all the support! I will answer everything today for sure T-T
Pairing:: Ohno Satoshi/OC, Ohno Satoshi/Ninomiya Kazunari
Genre:: angst, romance, drama, office!au
Length:: chaptered
Word Count:: 6222 words
Rating:: PG-13
Slowly, he grabbed his jacket and dressed it while feeling his body so heavy and weak. What had he done? He wondered that non-stop that morning. He was just overwhelmed last night, why had he done such a thing? He only thought about bringing the child a warm family, but how could he be that with his wife after what he did with his boss? It was impossible he could lie the rest of his life. He was unable to love his wife again and without that love, that child would only suffer for having two parents who only pretended instead of living their lives. What would they teach with that behaviour? Once again he had chosen wrongly. Or maybe he just needed time to get used to it. Perhaps when the kid would be born, he would focus on his task as father, forgetting all the bad things and his life would shine more. He only needed to wait and be patient. The kid would be their salvation for sure.
“Darling, what's wrong?” she came in the room with a bento in her hands. He took it and smiled softly.
“Nothing. I just slept a bit bad” he lied as always and kissed her cheek. “I’m leaving” he could seem cold, even bothered and annoyed, but his mood was truly horrible that day. So having his wife near was not a good idea. That was why he took his shoes and came out of that house. Only at that moment, when he was starting to drive, Ohno remembered he would have to face Ninomiya in the company. What would happen? How would he look like after last night? Was he okay? Satoshi could recall how bad his expression was. His red eyes or tired complexion. How much had he hurt him? Enough not to forgive himself for sure. That was why he would go and just work. Forgetting he was there. Forgetting who he was. Forgetting all they had lived.
And he truly tried as hard as his strength could resist. But in the moment he met his boss in the office, face to face, his eyes stared at him as if he was a God, feeling how his world was tearing apart and the only salvation was to ask for forgiveness and confess how much he meant for him. But it was not possible. Because that was not what he chose to do. So he reacted even before Ninomiya could, who kept on admiring him back with very tired, red eyes. Had he slept properly? He doubted it. The first night was always the worst, both would be okay without each other. Satoshi was sure. That was why he bowed politely and surrounded him to walk to his desk and begin to work without looking at any other side. He was there to gain his paysheet every month by doing his duties, not to flirt with bosses. And he would limit him to do that in that building. It was easy.
*****
It was lunch time and he took his bento with him. Just when he was walking through the desks, one of his coworkers stopped him. “Did your wife do it?” she asked naïvely and Ohno nodded not wanting to give details or continuing that chat.
“I'm jealous! I want a pretty wife to do mine too!” another coworker approached to comment about it. The employee only laughed to fit it and follow their conversation, but he escaped as soon as possible, with the bad luck that when he turned around, Kazunari was there looking at him. Ohno could only gulp and bow to him again before walking away as fast as possible to reach the rooftop. Had he heard them? What did he think about it? His eyes seemed so dark and sad… Ohno could not feel not worried about him. After all it was his fault and that type of situations only worsened everything even more. He was deeply sorry for him. Because after all Kazunari did not deserve it.
Then, after sighing, he tried to stop thinking about him or he would not stop in the whole day and wondered if Jun would be there today. Yesterday they truly argued badly. He was not used to that with his friend and at least he wanted to apologize. When he finished going upstairs, he saw how Matsumoto was there, in the usual bench eating a sandwich. Satoshi approached it to sit without hesitation and opened his bento to start to eat the leftovers. He sighed. It was good but it lacked something. Possibly sincerity between them and that was something nobody could change. “Who did that bento?” suddenly, the voice of his friend scared him and Ohno glanced at him. How would he react?
“My wife” his answer was brief and low, maybe trying not to be hear on purpose. However, he did listen perfectly.
“What? Wasn't she-?”
“She came back earlier” he cut his question rudely. He truly did not want to talk about it.
“And why are you eating her bento?” Jun seemed pretty lost, mostly because Ohno had always rejected her bento since he started to flirt with Ninomiya. The employee only answered while looking at the sky.
“Is that odd?” he attempted to pretend to be a husband. But even that was not made for him.
“Considering you're cheating on her with the boss, yes” Matsumoto commented carelessly. This was the chance.
“I was cheating on her” he corrected that knowing he would understand it at the same second.
“What do you mean?” his voice sounded surprised. It was clear what he meant, but perhaps it seemed so impossible Jun needed to hear straight from his mouth.
“I broke up with him last night” he supposed that saying it would be easier, that it would not hurt that much, however he was so wrong. Another hole in his heart began to appear when he found the courage to say it.
“What?! Why?” he yelled by the surprise and the two friends looked at each other. Amazed gaze against defeated one. If Jun could read him, he would see how destroyed he was since the last night.
“I’m going to be father” he confessed and once again, the meaning of that word, the duty it implied was still too big for him. What would happen to that child? It seemed too much responsibility for only him.
“It’s a joke” that was the first comment he could say. “Are you really going to have a kid and you're this happy?!” Jun pointed out with sarcasm and Satoshi could only sigh. He did not reply to him. His friend did not say anything which needed to be replied. It was evident between them. “So you broke up with Ninomiya to focus on be a father. You chose her after all” he connected the pieces with amazed voice, as if he was more than surprised. Possibly he was thinking Satoshi was stupid for having given a second chance to his wife, but after all it was not because of her.
“I chose the child. A father is always needed” he excused himself. However, he could see how Jun shook his head and clicked his tongue. Even though he did not talk after. And that bothered Satoshi. Why did he not say it? “What?” he insisted to know. Jun just stood up.
“They are only needed if they will do their kid's life easier. Do you think that child will be able to be happy after all your marriage has suffered?” he asked while frowning. Satoshi had thought of that, he was still wondering it. What was the right path to take for that kid's sake.
“I still have eight months to build again what I broke” he assured while eating a bit of meat. Matsumoto only giggled disappointed.
“You? What did you break?”
“My marriage” he answered at the next second. Why was he caring that much?
“Ah, no. She was the one who has always messed up everything” he blamed his wife carelessly.
“I did it too by flirting with Ninomiya” Satoshi tried to get the guilt too, because after all he had it too. He was not an angel. His acts had been horrible.
“But that was because she was a bad wife and didn’t take care of you” Jun continued trying to have the reason and show him all the fault was hers when if it was evident he had searched for it too.
“Even if she had been the best wife of this world, I would have done the same with Kazunari!” Satoshi confessed with all his might. His look was down, not daring to raise it and find Jun there. “The problem is not her. It's me…” he muttered before a tear fell on the food. Having realized that the only person he wanted beside him was his boss was the last thing he needed to regret completely what he did last night.
Slowly, Jun kneeled in front of him. “That’s how you love him, right?” his gaze was worried. So Ohno chose to nod while looking at the nowhere. His friend only removed his bento from his legs to place it on the bench and hugged him as tight as he could. The employee widened his eyes at first, but at the next second he returned it to sob lowly against his shoulder. It hurt so badly. His whole being was suffering as nothing in that world. And he only wanted to cry it out and feel better, but even after sobbing for almost the whole lunch, his chest still felt that pressure inside. How would he be able to overcome such a pain? No matter how much he lied to himself, there was no possibility to learn how to live with it. It hurt too much to be real.
“Yesterday, I was going to confess, Jun” he cried out with his eyes closed by so many tears falling. “I was going to tell him I was ready to forget her if he loved me” his breath was truly irregular and that made his words to be spoken vaguely. “Why then? Why did I break up?” he regretted aloud, feeling how that was the worst thing he had ever done. How much he was suffering could be compared to nothing. There was no existent pain which could be even closer to what he was feeling since last night. It was like someone had ripped his heart out. How was he able to stop it?
“Because you're a good father, Ohno. That's why you chose the kid before yourself” Matsumoto spoke tenderly. Somehow he was helping him to remember the main reason why he chose his family. And once he had it clear in his mind again, he was able to stop his weeping slowly and calm down. Usually nobody watched him like that, nevertheless he was really destroyed by that situation.
“Will I forget him someday?” he asked with husky voice. His friend looked down.
“I wish I could say yes”
*****
That day was raining so hard. No umbrella. Just a briefcase to cover his suit and not be wet the whole day in the office. He ran the small path between the parking and the building. It was enough to get his jacket quite useless, but it was hot so he would be okay without it. Then, he started to greet all the usual people in the hall with a fake smile. He was not able to be sincere yet. Even if two weeks had gone by already, the pain was still too strong every time he had to go to work and bow to him without being able to look at his eyes. He wondered how much it would last. His mind started to be confused and tired by handling such stress everyday. If he could forget… He remembered Jun's words.
I wish I could say yes…
What did he mean? He could read between lines and get a lot of meanings but knowing well his friend, he knew no one of them was the correct. Would he never be able then? He needed to ask him. Because even after two weeks, he was still wondering its meaning as crazy and somehow that made him do constant circles around the same subject. He was stuck in it no matter how many days would go by. Stuck in Ninomiya every time he met his boss in the office, every time they had to work together, every time they had to talk. Satoshi felt he was going to become crazy if that situation continued. His desire of throwing himself to his arms was so complicated to calm down. More when Kazunari wore those glasses or when they found each other alone. He did not know how he could handle it successfully. His heart still craved for his love.
But now, the only thing he could do was sitting down and working non-stop, his old habit came back. Working not to think. Even if it seemed okay at first, it was not effective anymore. Maybe because Ninomiya was ten meters away from him or because it was still too recent, but this time, working was not the solution. And he wondered what he could do to at least focus for thirty minutes straight. Otherwise, he would give up on working correctly. His mind was already suffering too much that he felt powerless, defeated. The tiredness reflected in his eyes. And possibly that was noticed by his boss every time they looked at each other as Satoshi did. He had never seen such a sad gaze in his life. And unconsciously, he muttered an apology each time he dared to look into his almond eyes.
He wondered how long it would be, when it would end… That pain inside of his chest, how much time it would keep there making breathing harder than under the water. Sometimes he needed to even stop because of it, exactly like this moment after having thought too much. Satoshi had just stood up to catch a glass of water and all his mind was wondering made it come back, that was why he stayed two seconds more in front of the water machine. When he believed he was okay, his body was turned around and he found someone rushing to his direction. At that time, as both tried to move to different sides, Ohno raised his eyes and found Kazunari. The time stopped at the same exact second Satoshi realized that strange bright into his gaze. Was he… happy? Indeed, he was carrying his jacket with him, where was he going? The employee only saw how his boss turned the corner and disappeared without looking back. He could not understand it. How could he have that brightness? Was he not suffering anymore? Everything seemed as falling over him. Was he the only stupid one there?
Slowly, he returned to his desk and sat, he should work, but his eyes kept looking at the screen while his hands were doing nothing. How could Ninomiya? He was completely unable. Unable to smile without faking it.
*****
A big noise woke him up suddenly. His face hurt too much when he attempted to raise his head. Ohno only noticed why when he looked down to find a notebook and pens around. Had he fallen asleep? When? How? What time was it? His wrist was showed to search for his watch and see how late it was. Then, he glanced at the rest of the office and no one was there. Why did nobody call him? Satoshi decided to tidy his desk, put his things into his briefcase and turn off his computer to stand up and place his chair correctly. Only when he headed to the exit, his eyes noticed how there was still one light on. It was his boss's. Had he returned? When? Was he still working at that hour?
He was so curious and somehow worried that he approached hesitantly to peek inside and see what he was doing. However, what he found broke his heart a bit more. Kazunari was sat on his chair, one of his hands holding his glasses and the other covering his eyes. His ears could hear how he was sobbing slightly while his fingers dried all the tears which fell uncontrollably. Then, Satoshi looked down to find a folder on the floor. Had that been the noise which woke him up? Had he thrown it against the wall? Why? What was wrong? “Ninomiya” he spoke his name with trembling voice from the threshold. At the next second, his boss raised his head, panicking for some reason and turned around.
“What do you want?” Kazunari replied rudely, his voice being a bit drowned. How much had he been crying? Satoshi was feeling a hole inside of him. He did not know why, but he preferred to see how he was happy as that morning instead of that sad. That was why he entered the office and approached the desk.
“Why are you crying?” he asked showing his concern. How much he worried about him yet.
“Not your business” his answer was fast and harsh. Possibly wanting to make it clear how he desired to be alone. However, Ohno would not go that easily. He had to break that distance between them and their hearts to be told what happened. That was why he surrounded the desk and placed himself right in front of Kazunari by kneeling on the floor. He knew his acts were so out of place, that he would regret it, breaking their limit as employee and boss. But if that was in exchange of helping him, it was worth it.
“I’ve only seen you crying once. Is he okay?” he remembered his friend. He knew how hard it was for him and how he regretted it. If something bad had happened to Masaki, Kazunari would be destroyed for sure. Ninomiya only frowned and set his own gaze aside. Did that mean he was right? Satoshi's stomach turned upside down suddenly. “Hey” he tried to catch his attention by caressing his cheek, but hastily it was grabbed strongly to refuse his touch.
“He has just woken up. Now, go away” his rude way to talk to him was too painful indeed, so Satoshi did not know why he kept there, without moving a single part of his muscles until he was brave enough to approach and hug him by his neck. His breath was stopped for the first seconds, feeling how his heart was pounding so hard. Possibly, instead of helping him, Ohno was just hurting his boss more and more. He was so selfish, but what could he do? Going away without even asking? Would it not be worse? He needed to be sure he would be okay without him.
“Then, why are you crying? It's fantastic he-“
“It's not!” suddenly, he yelled and Ohno broke the hug to look at him.
“Why?” the employee tried to know; he was sure something was wrong. Otherwise Kazunari would not have reached the limit of crying.
“Why should I tell you?” Ninomiya spat carelessly and Satoshi smiled bitterly.
“Because I will always be here for you… Even if it's not in the way we both want” his words were so sincere that even he himself was surprised and overwhelmed by them. He knew he was just mixing everything more and more, but leaving was impossible, if Kazunari was this broken, it was not possible at all. Slowly, his boss caressed his cheek and approached. A second after, their noses were touching, smelling each other's breaths. Satoshi could feel how he was going to kiss him and he wondered how he could stop that. He was unable to move backwards, however at the same time he knew that kiss would break the wall he built between them. “Don’t do it, please…” he begged with weak voice. Then, Kazunari bit his lower lip before moving forward to kiss his cheek. Ohno closed his eyes, yearning for those lips as a crazy. How thin but tender they were… He desired to taste them endlessly. And the temptation of turning his head and kissed him was there, however, he just felt how Kazunari leaned his forehead on his shoulder.
“He’s not okay at all…” finally, he spoke regarding his friend. Ohno rubbed his hair to support him meanwhile. “After a year in comma, now he can't move at all, he can't eat or speak, almost even breathe by himself… I've ruined his life…” he sobbed hard at the end and it was like a knife cut Ohno's stomach and was moved inside. How much was he suffering? Without a doubt, Satoshi's arms were wrapped around his back to hug him as tight as possible.
“You haven't, he's strong, he will-“
“I did!” what shocked Ohno was not the shout, but how strong Kazunari grabbed his clothes during the embrace. “I was driving that day, I couldn’t notice the truck because I was drunk. I tried to dodge it when it was so late and the truck hit the back part of the car, exactly where Masaki was” he told the story straight as if he needed to tell it. Ohno stayed there completely shocked by it. Had he been the one who caused the accident because he was drunk? How could he take the car if he had drunk?
“What's done, it's done” he spoke suddenly, probably talking to his boss and himself at the same time. It was not time to scold him because it was pretty evident he had learned from it. “The important thing is that he has woken up and even if now he is like this, he can recover and be 100% okay someday” his voice was tender, spoken beside his ear while his hands rubbed his back slowly. After a few seconds since he talked, Ohno could feel a nose rubbing his neck when Ninomiya cuddled up in his arms. He was being really affectionate at that moment and somehow Satoshi was falling in his claws. Possibly he would never be safe if he was close because Kazunari could affect him more than anyone else could and that was his worst enemy there.
Moving backwards, Ninomiya broke the hug to look at his with red eyes and caress his cheek softly while his thumb was rubbing his lower lip. “Can’t I really kiss you?” he asked with the beg reflected in his pupils. Ohno gulped, being tempted again by that God in front of him, a few inches separating them. However, he knew that if they kissed at that moment, all that pain and suffering would have been useless, that was why he shook his head with a bittersweet smile.
“No, it's better like this” he dried a tear across his cheek with his index finger and stood up. Kazunari kept sat on his chair, leaned on the back of it with his gaze lost in the nowhere. Ohno brushed his hair a bit. “Are you better?” his question was totally naïve provoked by his concern. His boss nodded with that unsure aura untypical of him.
“Yes, thank you” his voice seemed huskier than before. Was he truly better? Somehow, he was doubting it. Something inside of him was telling him that Kazunari was as broken as never before. And frustration filled his body when he noticed he could do nothing. “Go home, it's so late” Ninomiya recommended him and the employee nodded, feeling so embarrassed there at that point of the conversation. As he thought he would regret it. How was he able to look at his face from that moment on? It was so uncomfortable. Mainly because his eyes pierced his soul every time their gazes crashed. And it hurt. How he was able to look at him like that hurt him way too much and sometimes Ohno was so lost about what he should do in front of him. He felt so vulnerable his whole being was exposed and powerless. That was why he muttered a farewell and left the office as fast as he could.
I can't bear this feeling near you… I think I die at any moment if I stay by your side without showing how much I love you…
*****
The weeks went by slowly, so slowly Ohno hated it. Somehow he wanted the child to be born as soon as possible to finally be able to focus on taking care of the baby and forget all his problems. Because if he was like until now, his mind could only think of just one person and it was being harder. The more days he handled near him, the weaker he became. And that was the last thing he had to allow. He could not lose his composure now that he was getting to be just boss and employee with him. Less that night in his office, they had just behaved like how they had to in that building. And even if that was a big achievement, he was sad because that meant how nothing was going to happen between them again and his body craved for his closeness at least five seconds more. If he could have just one last time, one last night with him to show him his true feelings and how pure his actions were, maybe that heaviness in his heart would disappear a bit. Those regrets of not having told him would go away. However now he had to keep in silence because saying them would only cause more pain to suffer for both. Once again.
That was why he tried to keep working in that building no matter if the person he desired to be with was there, in front of him talking with his coworker. His eyes stared at him for some seconds, taking the risk of being discovered by Kazunari or some employee else. For that reason, he kept on glancing at him to admire that complexion he liked to feel under his hands, that jaw he loved kissing, those eyes which mesmerized his whole being, that soft hair which was so nice to grab when he was in the climax… Because of thinking those things, he started to breathe irregularly and feel hot so he had no other choice rather than standing up to go to the bathroom to wash his face with cold water.
When he opened the door, he found Jun there and they greeted each other. Then, Ohno opened the tap and cleaned his face of sweat. His hands grabbed the sink to close his eyes and breathe deeply. Suddenly a hand caught his shoulder and Ohno jumped by the scare. “Hey, what's wrong?” his friend asked, both looking at each other across the mirror in front of them. Ohno took a look around them, assuring the toilets were empty and decided to talk.
“When you said that you wished you could say I'll forget him someday, you were right, it's impossible, I think I will become crazy…” he turned around to lean his butt on the sink and brushed his both eyes desperately. They had not talked about him since that day and Jun did not know how Satoshi was regarding it until that moment so he kept thoughtful for a few seconds. After it, one of his hands was placed on his shoulder.
“But did you understand what I wanted to say?” he asked while frowning. Ohno shook his head remembering how much he tried to decipher that sentence for days up to he gave up. “You can't forget him if firstly you don't want to, or am I wrong?” suddenly he asked with serious expression but being warm and close at the same time. Ohno opened a bit his mouth and stayed in shock. Did he want to forget him? Did he want Kazunari to remain in the past? Did he want to reach a day where Kazunari was just a mere fact of the past?
“No…” he answered aloud with tears in his eyes. “I don't want it… Not at all… How can I want such a thing?” he spoke while looking down full of new feelings inside of him, tons of new ones to bear them again. Would that stop someday? Would there be an ending for all of that? Days continued passing and he was worse and worse. There was no day Kazunari was not in his mind. There was no day he was able to have a small hope to return with him in the future. There was no day he did not realize how deep his love for him was. And that was destroying him harsher than what he expected at the beginning. He had never thought he would feel like that for someone and much less, he would have to suffer like that because he was unable to be with that person. That was why he got a girlfriend and married her thinking that was all his heart could feel inside. Thinking that love was just that nice sensation inside. Thinking that he knew already what being in love was when he had just reached the limit of liking someone. Only love appeared when his path met Kazunari’s and all he knew became upside down.
“Are you sure about this?” Jun asked with poker face. He had never known what his friend was thinking about him, about his relationship, his marriage or even about Kazunari himself. He had always helped him but without saying his opinion and Satoshi wondered how he could have done it.
“I’m not sure about anything already” he confessed with a knot in his throat. Everything was so complicated to choose and be sure about it without a single doubt. Also his confidence and trust did not allow him to choose without hesitation even once in his life. So when this type of situations occurred to him, it was like he had lost himself in the middle of the forest. Which way was the correct?
“I’ve never liked too much how Ninomiya treated you at first. But after, he changed… I don't know what happened in the hospital really, but he looked like another person” he commented, a strange comment Ohno was not used to. However, he had his answer.
“It happened that he met the real face of my wife. Probably, he just decided to take care of me because he felt sorry after watching how she behaved…” he explained remembering that clearly in his mind yet. How she just seemed as caring zero and how Kazunari even slept beside him. He could choose so wrongly, but he was clever enough to see who was worth it.
“No… Probably he thought how a person as awesome as you could have such a wife” Matsumoto clarified while his eyes were on Satoshi constantly. The latter chuckled tiredly and shook his head.
“What are you saying…” his amazement was too high to believe that. Jun did not know Kazunari as well as him.
“Who knows your wife, knows also you're stupid for staying with her” he confessed straight as always and Ohno opened his mouth reply. Nevertheless, he closed it realizing he was really stupid for giving her another chance now they were going to be parents. “You can be the same father beside her or beside him. The child will always be yours no matter who your lover is” his friend continued his speech of reasons and Ohno had clear Jun disliked Yoko pretty much. After he was cheated by her too, so no wonder in reality.
“You know she wouldn’t let me see the baby if we got divorced and much less if I start a relationship with my boss” Satoshi pointed out knowing how mean she could be when things did not go as she wanted and Jun nodded with a sigh.
“Probably. But then, will you live with her whilst your heart belongs to him?” he asked after leaning his butt on the next sink to cross his arms and stare at his lost friend, who was starting to think too much regarding all of that.
“Yes, that's the plan, so stop confusing me, please” Ohno closed his eyes by the tiredness and walked to the door for returning to his desk. Before he exited the toilets, Jun said a last thing.
“I just want you to be happy”
*****
After his talk with Jun, somehow he could focus more on what he was doing. It was like if after all that chat, he had decided more than never to stay with his wife and let him go finally. And since then, he was starting to progress nicely in his work and in his life in general. Indeed, meeting Kazunari everyday was still hard, but somehow he was able to not feel that pain inside of him and control his own mind. That was how a month went by and Satoshi felt the idea of being father better and better. He started to be even excited about the fact of being able to hug a baby and see how that small human grew up. He was discovering that not everything was as bad as he thought it was at first. And that somehow was giving him new hopes and good vibes to overcome that bad period of his life.
For that reason, he was becoming better in his job and he could do a normal life already. Going to work, returning home, taking care of his wife. He did not dislike it. That was how he ended up finally recovering from that harsh hit he had had regarding his boss. He had to say too that since Masaki woke up, Ninomiya did not stayed the whole day and lost a few hours some days to go to the hospital. He knew that because once Satoshi dared to ask him for his condition and his boss told him. But since then, they did not talk anymore and Satoshi was grateful with that.
So, as any other day, he was doing his work, focused on it and deeply desiring to reach the lunch time and eat his bento, he was truly starving. Then, in the middle of the morning, Kazunari got out of his office to call them all. “Listen to me. The next weekend I will have a business trip and I need someone to help me” after this, some people were already offering themselves, but Ninomiya did not even glance at them. “As he has worked already with this company, Ohno, I want you to come with me. I will give you the information in my office” he announced in front of everyone and Satoshi opened his mouth totally speechless. Why he?
“But-“ that was all he could say. He did not want to go, of course he did not want to. Not with him. Not a whole weekend. Why did he have to choose him? Was he trying to get a chance? That was impossible. The employee decided to approach the office and knocked on the door to come in. Only when it was closed again, he dared to speak. “Why me? You have 35 employees more and you have-“
“No one else has worked with this company less you. You know how it works plus you're so fast working. Don't think I choose you because of personal matters” Kazunari explained to him straight and without taboos. Ohno stayed there feeling embarrassed. Even like that, he did not want. Of course because a weekend beside him would be hell and now that he was beginning to be okay, he did not want all his efforts to be in vain.
“Can I still refuse?” he dared to ask and Ninomiya looked straight at him.
“You can. But do you think you will be able to continue working here if you don't stop mixing what you feel with your job?” his boss asked him with a severe voice and the employee looked away truly out of place. He was right, he was just mixing everything and maybe that was why he was unable to work completely okay there. In the other hand, Kazunari was so professional that he thought as a boss and even chose him to go with him because he trusted in his work and capacities. Then, how could he say no if Kazunari was giving his best to be as normal as possible?
“Okay… Tell where and when…” he accepted with his heart pounding.
“We will take a plane in Narita to go to Fukuoka on Friday’s morning, we will prepare the contracts on that evening and meet the president on Saturday's afternoon. We will come back on Sunday's morning. Don't worry about the hotel, I will book two different rooms” Kazunari explained with details. “I will give you the tickets tomorrow” while talking he seemed so professional, as his real boss, that Satoshi just smiled bitterly and turned around to exit that office as soon as possible. At the next second, he was wondering if he was going to be okay.
//Hi! I'm sorry for continuing this torture xD I love to write this angst, the one of being so close buuuut nooo xD Well, now, more info about Nino; Jun and Ohno's talk; a new trip together omg. The next chapter is my fav of the whole fic. Really. I loved writing it as nothing and I hope you will feel it. By now, enjoy this one and wait for the next! Thanks for all the support! I will answer everything today for sure T-T