You

[sueslaps]

shy_dramaqueen has another You-Sue. The little vermin are everywhere!

TITLE: The Two Sides Of Jack Sparrow Part 2
CULPRIT: ares kid
SUMMARY: "Jacks come back, asking you, will and elizabeth to go on an adventure with him. How will you cope being on the same ship with the man that left you, wothout saying good bye and leaving a letter? Please r&r. Sequal to The

Comments

[daniellafromage]

“Elizabeth you are NOT getting me in a dress again. You remember what happened last time.”
“Yes I know you fainted but that wont happen this time I promise. Please please pllleeeaaassseee.”
“Why do you need me to come anyway? Take Will he’s your husband.”

What? Is Elizabeth trying to get the Sue to go on a date with her? Are there lesbians in this? ::hopeful::

[daniellafromage]

Yes!! Twice in one day!!

(No, I don't have a life...)

[sharkcowsheep]

Okay. So: DRESSES make her faint? Not the corsets, just the dresses? What the hell are those dresses made out of, horse tranquilizers?

[bulldogface]

Yes. Yes, they are. And the corsets? They're infused with LSD.

[roz_morgan]

I’m pregnant will not dying

The lack of capitilization made that the hardest thing to read, its not hard to put a capital W on someones name.
and why would Will just happyily go on a adventure if his wife is pregnant.

*crosses fingers* please let there be lesbians.

[hellmutt]

Obviously he was near when he heard his name being said and wanted to know what was being said about him.

“I heard my name. What do you want?”

Not redundant in the slightest.

Best. Writing. Ever.

[starry_arte]

This just bugs me. Second person point of view is a pretty hard POV to work with, and this person obviously has no idea how to use it. The point is that when using second person point of view, it is coming from "your" point of view, and therefore can only tell things that "you" see and feel. "You" weren't there at the beginning with Will and Jack, and "you" weren't outside the door with Will and Jack laughing at "your" plight, therefore those passages are both incorrect and completely pointless. *headdesks*

And I apologize if that didn't make sense. Though I daresay it makes a lot more sense than this story.