Hogwarts Overexposed: Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Thirteen
Day of Reckoning
"Harry, I feel as if we've failed the girls," Hermione said, her melancholy mood apparent in her voice.
The "Hogwarts Exposed" series is OBSCENELY long. I'm pretty sure the main reason why is shit like the above sentence. Although I guess I should just be thankful that Neil didn't write "Hermione said melancholily" or something.
"I know, but we've done everything within our power," he said, caressing her absentmindedly. LIES, ALL LIES. This is just like the bullshit about Kim, and how they "did all they could" to prevent her from being assaulted by her father.
"But it wasn't enough. The girls still have to spend the next eight months parading about wearing CLOTHES! appearing to be dressed in those appalling costumes. How could Severus agree to Hogwarts participating in this debacle? What was he thinking?" she asked.
"Knowing this story, something perverted. I wouldn't be too hard on Severus," Harry replied. Heh. "Hard." "His intentions were honorable. All the reports he received concerning previous games were positive. When Minister Wrong approached him last year concerning Hogwarts competing against the Americans, he only visualized positive results from the meeting. Like us, he was not aware that greed had tarnished the games and turned them into an adolescent peek show."
"When did we catch up with and pass the Muggles?" Hermione asked. "I always thought the magical world was rather prudish and behind the times and now this happens. Oh yes, the magical world is so prudish because it has a problem with two professors cavorting around NAKED. Even in the most liberal of Muggle schools, students would never be allowed to parade around in such outfits, let alone be forced to do so."
Blah blah blah more talk of how huge Hermione's boobs are. They're going to let Emily use the concealment charm because it wouldn't be fair if she had to wear clothes and her sisters didn't. Guess what, Emily? LIFE ISN'T FAIR. You don't get the "benefits" of being in the competition because the Goblet of Fire had a moment of sanity and decided you were too much of a whiny bitch to compete. Live with it.
* * * * * *
Tuesday, November 1, 2005
The girls put on their costumes so we can get MORE descriptions, including one of how most of Kim's vulva is exposed. Then they do the concealment charm. Yay. This is stupid and makes me angry.
* * * * * *
The Sues go to breakfast. They call the costumes "sluttish," which seems a bit much, considering these girls regularly wear miniskirts with no underwear. We also get to hear about how one of the American girl's boobs popped out of the costume. Apparently, Snape "literally blew his top," and I really don't want to think about what that means.
* * * * * *
Everyone is miserable with the costumes. I'll ask once again: WHERE ARE THE PARENTS? Why aren't they protesting?
* * * * * *
Alex uses his legal skills (which we have never heard about before) to argue that the contestants shouldn't have to wear the costumes outside the competition. Neil uses the word "barrister" a lot to try to convince us that he is British.
* * * * * *
Friday, November 4, 2005
There is going to be a Yule Ball. Held on New Year's Eve.
- - - - - -
Tyler asks Emily to the not!Yule Ball, but she turns him down because she already has a date. I have a REALLY bad feeling about it.
* * * * * *
The teams go to the Room of Requirement and Jamie tells them about the concealment charm. After some of them decide to use it, they spend more time in the Room of Requirement so that they can get used to seeing each other nude. No, I am NOT making that up.
* * * * * *
Saturday, November 5, 2005
They prepare to go to practice, and there is much talk of how creepy Rishard is and how it's so gross that he is more interested in the boys. I think Neil watched waaaaay to many of those PSA's about "the Homosexual" who kidnaps young boys.
* * * * * *
Here comes the practice session! Oh boy! I can't wait!
Blah blah blah, they are going to be doing ice breakers.
Rishard next walked over to the Hogwarts contingent and handed a beanbag to Jamie. "My, but doesn't that costume display your attributes nicely," he whispered. "Your tits look like they're just begging to be unleashed."
Jamie just glared at Rishard. She couldn't believe that he was talking to her in such an improper way.
WHY HAS NO ONE FILED CHARGES AGAINST THIS MAN? Seriously, does the wizarding world not have any concept of "sexual harassment"?
"I should warn you," Rishard continued, "that costume might not be able to restrain those beauties of yours, but don't worry. Are you kidding me? Worry? Jamie LOVES showing off her massive tits. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and I'm sure the sight will be greatly appreciated by all those watching."
"Now then, each team has a beanbag," Rishard announced loudly. "Introduce yourself to your teammates. Tell something unique about yourself and then toss the bag to the player on your right. Take your time; it is more important you get to know your teammates than it is to rush."
They toss the beanbags around, and Dick's dick pops out of his costume. Jamie "nobly" throws herself on top of him to cover him up.
"For this exercise the groups will once again stand in circles. When your coach yells, 'go' you run across and hug someone. On each 'go' you switch partners and hug someone different until each person has hugged everybody in the group. Yes, I mean everybody," Mr. Simone emphasized as a number of hands had ventured into the air.
What is the point of this exercise? How does it help build team spirit? Anyway, the exercise ends, but not before all the guys get boners from hugging the Sues.
"Any time," Tyler answered back, keenly watching Emily's derriere undulate as she walked away. Undulate? I'm sure my butt is much bigger than Emily's, and it doesn't "undulate" when I walk. When her clothes reappeared he still kept watching until finally she disappeared around the corner. He had held her, they had talked but nothing had really changed between them. His momentary bliss was over.
* * * * * *
"Harry! I'm so glad you're back!" Hermione cried, as he entered their quarters. "I cannot bear to be apart from you for more than a few hours! I was just about to send Hedwig to search you out."
"What's the matter?" Harry asked, seeing grave concern etched on Hermione's face.
"I'm not sure," Hermione answered tensely. "Severus just stuck his head in the fire and tried to kill himself to escape the story asked that you and I come to his office immediately. Tonks and Kingsley Shacklebolt are on their way." Hermione bit her lips. "I don't think it's a social visit. Severus looked distraught."
Did one of the Sues die again? That would be fun.
I apologize that the sporkings are getting less funny and more ragey, but this story pisses me off. On the plus side, I found the PERFECT gif for my (frequent) moments of rage:
End of Chapter 13
Chapter Twelve: Follow the Money Trail ~ Table of Contents ~ Chapter Fourteen: The First Casualties of War