language notes

[substitute]

1. It's easy to convert a simple statement into a simple asshole statement. Simply prefix it with "Um". Try it! It works every time!
   
   
2. The following usage is proscribed and prohibited and will be punished: use of the German word "uber" as a generic comparative or superlative. Examples: "We didn't want to swear around her because she's uber religious

Comments

Aquirra

[mr_flippant]

Car companies get a logic pass. Consider the manufacturer of your vehicle for instance. Not only did they leave off a 'c', they amputated a 'te' or a 'cy' as well.

And you'll never know which one they removed!

Re: Aquirra

[substitute]

Acura: The Wrath of God?

Marketing will never approve this

[mr_flippant]

"A breathtaking journey into the heart of darkness" would be my favorite tagline for a car company ever!

[thesadtomato]

I could not agree more on all points, and have been planning on writing up a car-name piece/thing/post for some time now. Your Sorento comment has lit a fire under me.

(Which reminds me: I can't stand it when people say "I could care less," when they mean "I could not care less.")

In short, will you marry me, Substitute?

[leolo]

I always figure that "I could care less" is just short for "Well, I could care less, but that would require more effort than [whatever] merits."

I figure it helps dull the pain.

[gutbloom]

Oh, I thought that "I could care less" was originally a New York type question "I could care less?".

[nebris]

Um, dude, you are, like uber righteous. ;D

~M~

..and as far as I'm concerned KIA means Killed In Action..

K.I.A-without-crossbar

[torgo_x]

ΚΙΛ

ΚΙΛ

ΚΙΛ

ΚΙΛ ΜΑΗ ΛΑΝΔΛΟΡΔ!

Re: K.I.A-without-crossbar

[halfjack]

haha, that's great but Eddie Murphy would never get it.

Re: K.I.A-without-crossbar

[frobisher]

Thank you for making me actually read that though. I am hilarified.

yes

[turnip]

somehow, "um" is a lot more asshole than "uh." I think "uh" indicates some genuine confusion while "um" is just fuckin asshole. I hate it.