How to Get a Boy Without Really Trying - an Urbis Arcana short
Every year, I try to write a story for Chicago Reader’s Fiction issue. Last year, I thought I had a pretty good idea for a story. But as I sat down to write it, I realized that it wasn’t working. And no matter how hard I tried, it kept on not working. So, with not a whole lot of time left, I decided to try something else.
When I wrote an initial draft and sent to to phoenix_anew for beta reading, she suggested that I expand upon the tangent I touched on at the beginning of the story (only to pretty much drop it after the first part). Which was a good idea. The problem was that, at that point, I was getting close to deadline and I decided to just cut that tangent out, submit a story without it, and then write a story giving it the room it deserves. Which I still plan to do. I just haven’t had a chance to.
This story was finished in November, but I decided to keep it off this LJ until I knew if the Reader would accept it. When that didn’t work out, I decided to submit it to another publication - and that didn’t work out, either. So I decided to post it here, for now. The great thing about Livejournal is that, if I find somewhere else to submit it, I can just friends-lock this entry and no one would be the wiser.
Jarek is one of the main characters in Innocents Lost, a novel of which I’ve only written a prologue and a few scenes so far. April gets referenced there, but she doesn’t actually appear. This story takes place before Innocents Lost, so you really don’t need to read it first.
Oh, and I’ve posted some character sketches of April before, and I’ve written a bit about my thought process on her design. Feel free to check it out. And you can also check out a post about the school where much of the story is set.
I would like to thank phoenix_anew for betaing the original draft. As always, questions, comments and any and all criticism are welcome.
How to Get a Boy Without Really Trying
(an Ubris Arcana short story)
March 2008
Chicago's Northwest Side
How do I get a guy to like me?
I plopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling.
It seems like a silly question. I've been on dates before. Oh boy have I ever been on dates. But what am I supposed to do when the guy I like doesn't seem to notice me?
I could practically see my friends rolling their eyes. Guys notice me. I bloomed pretty early, and they haven't stopped looking since.
Half of the time, when guys talk to me, they talk to my chest. Or keep trying to act all sneaky and act like they're totally not looking at my chest. And I know exactly where they were looking when I walked away. I got used to it, the way you get used to Chicago winds and cold winters. It's there, and there's nothing I can do about it.
I guess that's why most of my relationships never really go anywhere. I meet a guy, and he seems nice enough, but once we start getting to know each other, I realize we don't really have a whole lot in common. And that, nine times out of ten, he's just telling me whatever he thinks will get him in my pants.
And then, there's Jarek. He lives in Jefferson Park, but we have history and drama classes together. He likes acting and hiking in the woods. He makes memorizing lines look easy. He doesn't mind the fact that I play sports. He's not exactly funny, but whenever I talk to him, I always feel better. But most importantly, he doesn't try to get anything out of it. He doesn't expect anything. We can just talk. It's nice. Refreshing.
I like his warm blue yes, the reddish-brown hair I just want to run my fingers through. His nose is a little long, but that just makes him more interesting. He's not that tall, but then, neither am I. And, I admit, I like the way he fits in those jeans. I've looked. Maybe a little too much.
We've been talking for weeks, but Jarek hasn't asked me out. I know he doesn't have a girlfriend. I checked.
And I wanted him to ask me out. I wanted to hold his hand, to hold him, to taste his lips, to get him out of those clothes...
Okay, getting a bit carried away here.
I wanted Jarek to ask me out. I wanted and wanted and wanted... And he just had to be the one guy who wouldn't ask me out.
If Anita, my best friend since seventh grade, was here, she's just roll her eyes. And then, she'd tell me that I shouldn't just sit around and wait.
Why not.
No, really. Why not? I liked Jarek. I should just come up to Jarek and tell him how I feel. If he rejects me...
The thought felt like a stab in a gut. I tried to push it aside. At least then I'll know. That's better than nothing.
It's better than spending the rest of my life wondering if I missed my chance with the one guy who might actually like me for who I am.
I could do it. I could totally do it.
***
That morning, I woke up early enough to wash my hair and style it. If I was going to do it, I would have to look my best.
Problem is, Taft High School's dress code doesn't really let you do “sexy.” Definitely no cleavage. Or pretty much any skin above the ankles.
Finding nice tops my size was already a pain. Finding something really nice and school-appropriate was a major pain in the rear.
I spent the previous night digging through my clothes until I found something that worked. As a wise blogger said “it's not about the display - it's about presentation.” I found black jeans and matched them with a blue blouse with a black shirt underneath. The jeans were a little tight, but, for once, that was okay. The black slims and streamlines, and it makes my hair looks redder and brighter. And it worked pretty well with my skin tone.
I tried not to go too overboard with make-up - brighter lipstick than what I'd usually go to, a little extra foundation.. And I was ready to go.
I hoped.
***
“Not bad,” Anita nodded approvingly. “So you're finally going to seduce Jarek?”
Leave it to one of my best friends to put it like that.
“Do you think it's too much?”I asked.
“Just enough,” Anita grinned. “Jarek would love it. Then again, he'd love it even if you dressed in a burlap sack.”
“Wait - what?” I did a double-take.
“He's head over heels,” Anita said. “It's pretty adorable.”
“He is?”
That's when Tsira, the quieter of my friends, decided to interject.
“You're kidding, right?” Tsira bristled. “It's so obvious.”
“It is?”
“Lord have mercy...” Tsira sounded pained. “He waits for you after archery practice. He keeps trying to talk to you between periods. Even when he's got class on the other side of the building. And every time you talk to him, he gets this dopey smile on his face.”
“He does?”
“Un-freaking-believable,” Tsira rubbed her forehead. “See, that's why I think relationship stuff is overrated... Love makes you stupid.”
“You're...” the retort died in my throat. “Anita - what do you think?”
“Sorry, April,” she said. “It's pretty obvious.”
Unbelievable...
“So why didn't you say anything?”
“I thought you knew,” Anita shrugged innocently. “Sorry.”
I sighed.
It wasn't that I didn't trust my friends. I did. Even Tsira, who'd much rather write self-insert fanfics than talk to flesh-and-blood boys.
So I had nothing to worry about. Really. I would just talk to Jarek during class and tell him how I feel. Simple.
***
Easier said than done.
Jarek and I had US history first. I figured Ms. Williams would explain the assignment and let us work. I could talk to Jarek then. I had the whole speech prepared. I'll be all casual. 'You know, we've been talking a lot, and I think you're a pretty cool guy. I would really like to get to know you better. We should hang out.'
Okay, maybe that was a bit too casual. But at least this way, if he does reject me, it wouldn't be so bad.
It seemed like a good plan. But while Ms. Williams talked about sources and multimedia components, I kept looking at Jarek. And he looked back at me with the confused expression.
I turned away so quickly I nearly fell out of my chair.
“April?” Ms. Williams asked. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah...”
I wanted to die.
And that was pretty much it. I chickened out. Couldn't do it. Not even when Jarek and I got put in the same group. I just tried to focus on not looking like a weirdo. And before I knew it, the bell rang.
I spent the next three periods psyching myself up. This was ridiculous. I've talked to boys before. They're not scary. Usually not boys like Jarek, but he was still a boy. I could do it. I could. Absolutely.
***
The class was called 'Theater Technology.' I wasn't sure why they called it that. It's pretty much theater basics - how to act, how to write scripts, how to pick props, that sort of thing.
For the past week, we've been working on putting together small skits. We had to write the script, find the props... This week, we were going to act them out.
Mr. Locke paired me off with Jarek, which was awesome by me. I got to talk with Jarek all period. We even managed to come up with a pretty fun idea about Sheriff of Nottingham trying to catch Robin Hood (that would be me).
Mr. Locke gave us a few minutes to prepare. And so I went over to the spot to the right of the platform that served as a stage area.
I couldn't tell him now, obviously. But after the performance... Yeah. After.
“Alright,” I said to Jarek once we met up. “I think we're good to go. Do you want to run through the lines one last time?”
“Maybe a little,” he said off-hand. “Listen - is everything okay?”
Crap. He noticed. Of course he noticed, How couldn't he notice?
“Sure,” I tried my best to sound casual. “Why?”
“You seemed pretty distracted back in history.”
“I was? Sorry. I don't know....I'm just nervous.”
“About what?”
That, right there, was a perfect opportunity to say what I've wanted to say.
So, of course, I hesitated. Like an idiot.
“It's okay,” Jarek quickly assured me. “You don't have to say anything if you don't want to.”
“No... I mean, it's not that I don't want to. it's just... It's kind of embarrassing.”
“I won't judge.”
“Okay... I've got a friend. There's this guy she really likes, and she wants to tell him how she feels...But every time she tries to do it, she gets scared. I've been trying to figure out how to help her.”
“Hmm...” Jarek nodded thoughtfully. “That's a tough one. I mean, I can definitely see where she's coming from. Last year, there was this girl I liked... I kept trying to ask her out and chickening out at last minute. It went on for MONTHS, until I just kind of blurted it out.”
“So what happened?”
“She blew me off. Said she'd never go out with some loser freshman.”
That bitch!
But out loud, I said:
“I'm sorry.”
“It's okay,” Jarek shrugged. “I mean, sure - I was crushed, but I think it was for the best. At least I knew. If I didn't blurt it out, I still would've been pining for her.”
“So what you're saying is that my friend should just go for it?”
“I guess... I know it's not helpful, but...”
“Alright, enough chatting,” Mr. Locke interrupted. “April, Jarek - you're up. Amaze us!”
Jarek and I looked at each other.
“Crap,” I said. “We didn't run through the lines at all.”
“Don't worry,” Jarek smiled. “We rehearsed it. Besides - it's our script. Even if we screw up the lines, we can just wing it.”
Turned out that, some stumbling aside, we did fine. We even got applause. Like, actual applause, not polite applause.
I felt pretty good. So good that I felt ridiculously happy through the entire class. And it wasn't until the bell rang just as the final skit finished that I realized that I still hadn't told Jarek how I felt.
Darn it!
***
By the time the final bell rang, I decided that it was getting ridiculous. Especially when Jarek pretty much told me to go for it. How much encouragement did I need?
I made up my mind. I was going to find him, and I was going to tell him. Blurt it out.
I didn't have to look far. Jarek was leaning against the school wall, right at the corner parallel to the parking lot. He was on the green space, where nobody would bump into him. He was reading a book.
A paperback copy of Metal Revolution, by Katie Murphy. I mentioned that I liked it...
“Hey,” I said.
Jarek looked up... then his eyes quickly darted a little further up.
“Hey,” he smiled sheepishly.
“Listen. I need to tell you something...”
“I'm an idiot,” Jarek blurted out.
“What?”
“I shouldn't need my friends to tell me something so obvious. Honestly, if this was a movie, I'd be yelling at the hero to get it through his thick head...”
“You're not making any sense.”
“You're right,” Jarek smiled. “Here it goes. There's this girl...”
My heart beat so loud I could barely hear him.
“...We've had a bunch of classes together for months, but I've never talked to her. And when I did, I found out that she was a pretty interesting person. We had a lot in common. She made me curious about things I've never really thought of. I've been kicking myself for not talking to her sooner.”
I felt myself smiling back.
“I didn't have any feelings for her...At first. They kind of snuck up on me,” he chuckled. “One minute, everything is normal, the next - I can't stop thinking about her. So I made up my mind. I was going to ask her out.”
Oh my God....
“Thing is... she's been burned before,” Jarek sighed. “Many times. I didn't want her to think that I was only talking to her because I wanted to... use her. I kept thinking - if I ask her out, she might think I'm one of those drooling morons...”
So after all this time...
I didn't know whether to hug him or smack him.
“You're not a drooling moron,” I said. “But you are kind of an idiot. You don't need to prove anything to me. I believe you.”
Jarek breathed a loud sigh of relief.
“Thank God. You have no idea how much this has been stressing me out.”
“Oh, I think I do. A cute boy, acting like he's not interested... What was I supposed to think?”
“Sorry,” said Jarek. “If I knew it was going to be this easy, I would've done it sooner.”
“Its okay,” I said. “At least now we're on the same page.”
“And let's keep it this way.”
“Let's.”
Jarek smiled.
“You have a really beautiful smile. It lights up your whole face. It's kind of amazing. Sorry. It's probably sounds cheesy, but I wanted to say it for so long and...'
I leaned over and kissed him. Didn't even think about it. I just had to.
Somewhere in the background, somebody cat-called. I didn't care.
“Wow,” Jarek said as soon as I pulled away. “Thanks...” Then, he cringed. “Oh God, why did I say that?”
I laughed. I couldn't help it. And before I knew it, Jarek was laughing with me.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
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