i know you'll see this and probably delete it, who know's if you know who's doing this. you know i love you but you don't care, mike could care less. i'm sure he knows how much the two of you combined have hurt me. i need to know how you truly feel about me. i'm not going to wait around for you to keep changing your mind.

Well, this sucks but its better that way. I'm sick of hidding everything from everyone. Mike's moving on, so why shouldn't I? I'm sure within the month he'll have a new girlfriend and as for me, I just want to keep to my self. Why be with someone if I can't get over someone else? The person I want I can't have and I can't do anything to make it ( Read more... )

I'm ready to come home any day now, well, not until Sunday. When I get back Brittany and I are going to a new church together. We are trying to find one that will accept us, and has a daycare for Chris. I miss her like crazy. I'm going crazy without her. Well, the weather here in Washington sucks, its all rainy. Chris never sleeps here bacause ( Read more... )

WOW, A lot has happened since I've last wrote ( Read more... )

I'm sick of trying to be the perfect person for everyone. Why should I make other people happy if I'm not happy? Its my life and I'm the one who has to live it everyday. If I choose to do something to make me happy and its not BAD then LEAVE ME BE ( Read more... )

Okay... I went through some of my journal entries and unblocked a few of them, of course I had to edit a couple. Anyways, today I told Britt what happened the other night when Mike came over to my house after work. In one of my entires I said we talked and spent time together, but more happend. We ended up fucking. Yes, I shouldn't have done that ( Read more... )

well, I haven't writen in a while. Prom was good. Except we didn't stay long. When Brittany came to pick me up she said I looked so beautiful that she wanted to cry....or something along the lines of that. We got our pictures taken and then ate a Bennihannas (however you spell that) and went to prom. Enough about Prom she wrote about it more then ( Read more... )

Yesterday Brittany and I seached everywhere for a prom dress for me. I finally found one at Davids Bridal in Brea. Its all white with little light pink and blue flowers on the dress. What the heck was I thinking getting a all white dress. I'm pretty sure I drove Brittany insane yesterday. Well, today is going to be a long day. I get to clean the ( Read more... )

Well, everything was going great with Prom... but one thing needed to be okayed.... The over night stay at Mikes house for Chris. I just talked to Mike and he said that he didn't know. He said his answer now is a no. I asked him why and he said becuase... thats all I need to tell you. I told his this means alot to me and I would really like him to ( Read more... )

Well, I'm going off to work soon. My aunt Janine is coming over to watch Chris until she has to go to work. My body hurts from walking all over Disneyland. Probably because Britt and I did mostly running around the park. Yeah, we were super hyper. My aunt Gail, who lives here, is stressing the crap out of me. I swear she can never be nice to me. ( Read more... )