oops.../Prom
well, I haven't writen in a while. Prom was good. Except we didn't stay long. When Brittany came to pick me up she said I looked so beautiful that she wanted to cry....or something along the lines of that. We got our pictures taken and then ate a Bennihannas (however you spell that) and went to prom. Enough about Prom she wrote about it more then me....
Yesterday I had my surgery, it went okay, except I feel like crap. The night before it Mike came over and spent sometime with me after he got off work. He is being alot nicer to me, except I don't want to feel and thats what I do when I'm with him. I broke down and cried and he did to. I haven't been able to do that lately, but I held alot back when I was with him, and I know he did too. We want to be Friends, and have a good relationship for Chris' sake.
Moving on... I kinda blurted out something about my Live Journal to Mike so I guess he came to check it out. Well, only my friends can view my journal, but Britts Journal anyone can view. I guess he got her username from my journal and went to go read everything she wrote. WOW... not good. I got a call this morning from him asking me about things she has quoted me on in her journal....Lets just say I didn't know what to say to him. I just got a call from him.... he was having a smoke break at school. He said that he wanted to talk to me, he has lots of questions. This sucks. Aww.... I just wish I can write about everything I feel in this damn journal, but I know people can read it. So everything is only partly told. But yeah, no one would like me if I was toooo open about everything. Thats sad, but true.
Well, Today I made Chris and I doctor appointments for this week and I have a job interview on Wed. for Elephant Bar. Yeah, I really want this job. Starting out pay is $7.00. Thats more then I was making at Cold Stone, even with my two raises.
I'm soo confused with Who I AM... who am I ? What am I suppost to be doing in this world? Am I wasting my time? Am I always going to screw up every good realtionship that comes my way? Will my kid grow up having everything he needs? Will ever be able to over come the pain in my heart from Mike?
These are the questions that run through my head at night. I wish I could be openly honest with everything in my life with everyone. Aww... I probably would lose soo much people who mean alot to me.
I just wish Mike didn't see Britts Journal, maybe I would feel alot better. That was my closed off life from him and everyone else, and now it has been opened.
I can't handel this stress. I have soo much stress at home, I can't do anything right, and no one approves of anything I do with Chris or my self. I think people forget that I am an adult.
Yesterday I had my surgery, it went okay, except I feel like crap. The night before it Mike came over and spent sometime with me after he got off work. He is being alot nicer to me, except I don't want to feel and thats what I do when I'm with him. I broke down and cried and he did to. I haven't been able to do that lately, but I held alot back when I was with him, and I know he did too. We want to be Friends, and have a good relationship for Chris' sake.
Moving on... I kinda blurted out something about my Live Journal to Mike so I guess he came to check it out. Well, only my friends can view my journal, but Britts Journal anyone can view. I guess he got her username from my journal and went to go read everything she wrote. WOW... not good. I got a call this morning from him asking me about things she has quoted me on in her journal....Lets just say I didn't know what to say to him. I just got a call from him.... he was having a smoke break at school. He said that he wanted to talk to me, he has lots of questions. This sucks. Aww.... I just wish I can write about everything I feel in this damn journal, but I know people can read it. So everything is only partly told. But yeah, no one would like me if I was toooo open about everything. Thats sad, but true.
Well, Today I made Chris and I doctor appointments for this week and I have a job interview on Wed. for Elephant Bar. Yeah, I really want this job. Starting out pay is $7.00. Thats more then I was making at Cold Stone, even with my two raises.
I'm soo confused with Who I AM... who am I ? What am I suppost to be doing in this world? Am I wasting my time? Am I always going to screw up every good realtionship that comes my way? Will my kid grow up having everything he needs? Will ever be able to over come the pain in my heart from Mike?
These are the questions that run through my head at night. I wish I could be openly honest with everything in my life with everyone. Aww... I probably would lose soo much people who mean alot to me.
I just wish Mike didn't see Britts Journal, maybe I would feel alot better. That was my closed off life from him and everyone else, and now it has been opened.
I can't handel this stress. I have soo much stress at home, I can't do anything right, and no one approves of anything I do with Chris or my self. I think people forget that I am an adult.