fic: Home is Where the Heart Is (1/1)
Title: Home is Where the Heart Is
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: PG
Summary: Sometimes you have to go home to find out where home really is.
Notes: Set almost at the end of 4.08, so spoilers for the ep inside. Lots of them. 8th in the S4 coda series, you really need to read the others, I think, to make sense of it.
This follows in the series of season 4 codas, so you should probably read The Weight of the World, Wallowing, A Moment, Drunk and Disoriented, Cognitive Dissonance, The Devil's in the Details and Dancing Around Elephants first.
SPOILERS FOR 408 INSIDE! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!
He'd gone to New Jersey to get away from Steve.
Well, that wasn't entirely true. He'd gone for his father's birthday--and what a clusterfuck that had turned into--but he's a adult, he can admit his ulterior motives to himself. And he knew that part of the reason he'd left was to get away from Steve.
Not that he wanted to be away. But he needed it.
He'd tried to put that kiss out of his mind, he really had. But it was a little like trying to ignore an itch that started under the back of his neck and went all the way down to the bottom of his feet and never entirely stopped.
He didn't get how Steve could just shove it away and lock it up. Maybe if Danny asked, Steve could get him into just that class in SEAL school. Maybe then he could just ignore the way that every touch between Steve and Catherine was starting to feel like ants running up and down that itch under his skin.
Because he wanted to help her. He liked her. And he certainly couldn't blame her for falling for Steve--that would be hypocrisy at its finest.
But Danny knew now. He knew what it felt like when Steve gripped your back like he didn't want to let go. What it was like when Steve literally stole your breath, his mouth taking everything out of you and leaving nothing behind that didn't have his mark on it.
God help him if he ever learned what it was like to have more. No amount of sympathy for Cath would help then.
A knock on his door was a welcome distraction. "Yeah?"
His dad stuck his head in. "Can I come in?"
"Of course. It's your house."
His dad laughed as he came in and shut the door. "Yeah, but it'll always be your room."
"Sure looks like it," Danny said, looking around at the posters--Don Mattingly, Claude Lemieux, and an old 1967 Camaro that he'd dreamed of owning as a teen. He didn't even recognize the kid who'd grown up in this room anymore. "What's up?" Danny asked. "Hiding from Mom?"
His dad rolled his eyes. "Come take a ride with me in my new car."
"You mean take a ride at nearly midnight to avoid the fact that Mom is reading you the riot act every chance she gets about the new car? No thanks."
"Danny, come on."
Danny held his hands out, palms up. "Nope. Sorry. I get enough of someone trying to kill me with the way he drives a sports car back home. I don't need to risk my life further."
His dad's smile was a little sad. "Okay."
"What?"
"You didn't even notice what you said, did you?"
Danny thought back over the words. "What?"
"'Back home.'"
"Oh, well...it's mine and Gracie's home now. I mean, what else am I supposed to call it?"
"It's okay," his dad said, his hand covering Danny's knee. "I'm glad you found something there that makes you happy."
There was something off in his dad's tone, but Danny couldn't figure out quite what it was. "Everything okay, Dad?"
"Everything's fine." His dad patted his knee and stood up. "Get some sleep and we can go for a ride in the morning."
"Great, I get one more night to live," Danny joked. "I'm just gonna check in back home and then I'm going to bed."
His dad ruffled his hair affectionately, one of the few people who got that privilege. "Night."
"Night, Dad."
He watched his dad walk out, waited until he couldn't hear his footsteps before pulling out his phone. He scrolled through his texts, frowning at one from Chin that had Danny on his feet and dialing the phone immediately.
Steve answered on the second ring, and Danny could tell he was on the speaker in the truck. "Miss me?" Steve said by way of a greeting.
"You got shot?" Danny yelled, lowering his voice before his parents came down the hall to see what was going on. "I'm gone for five minutes," he hissed, "and you go and get shot?"
"Danny, it was a scratch. No big deal."
"You actually let the paramedics patch you up."
"When don't I let the paramedics patch me up?"
"When it's just a scratch. A scratch gets a band aid. Paramedics imply more than just a scratch."
He heard Steve draw in a long breath. "Who told you?"
"Never mind that."
"Well did whoever told you mention the part where I was absolutely fine?"
Chin had--in fact, he'd led with that, but.... "That's not the point. See, if I'd been there to watch your back this would not have happened."
"Right, because neither of us ever gets shot."
"You get me shot all the time," Danny said. "I never get you shot."
"I'm pretty sure that's not true."
"Oh, so you're saying I'm a bad partner, is that what you're saying?" Danny dropped back onto the bed. "Who let you get shot anyway?"
Steve sighed. "No one let me get shot. We were caught by surprise."
"'We' who?"
"Grover."
Danny looked at the phone, but no, it was still Steve's face and name on the screen. "You co-opted Grover as a partner?"
"Co-opting would imply I had some sort of choice in the matter," Steve said. "But it all turned out fine. Well, we lost the hacker we were chasing, but I'll find him."
Danny leaned back against the pillow and closed his eyes. "Oh shit."
"What?"
"I know that voice."
"What voice?"
"That voice of yours, just now, with the 'I'll find him.' That, my friend, is your crusade voice. The one that tells me this guy is going to be sorry he shot you."
There was a long pause that made Danny sit up again. "He didn't shoot me. We were actually protecting him at the time."
"You were protecting the bad guy?"
"Well, in our defense, we didn't know he was the bad guy."
Clearly Danny was never able to leave Hawaii again. All the good police work went with him. "'Go home, Danno,' you said. 'We can handle things. No, you don't need to go to Japan, we can handle that. No, really, I won't blow up the island either, I promise.'"
"Danny--"
"You didn't blow up the island?" Danny said, shifting sideways and hanging his feet over the side of the bed. "Tell me you didn't. Oh God, what did you blow up?"
"I blew up nothing, I promise!"
Danny released a long breath. "Okay, that's good," he said, shifting around to prop himself up against the pillow once more. "And your bullet wound?"
"Is a scratch, I swear. It didn't even take out the tattoo."
And really, Danny could be forgiven for his immense relief over that. He had every reason to be fond of those tattoos and he wanted to get the chance to lick them thoroughly without scar tissue someday. In the God-only-knew-when future. "Oh well," Danny said, inspecting his fingernails, "I'm sure Catherine will take good care of your scratch."
The long pause that followed only managed to amplify the conflict Danny could hear in Steve's voice when he said, "Danno...."
"I didn't say anything."
But he didn't have to. That was the thing about them. They knew each other too well. They barely needed words, even 5,000 miles apart. "How's New Jersey?" Steve asked.
"Cold." He ignored Steve's laugh. "Mom's pissed about the car, Dad's pissed about turning 60. I'm pissed about the two of them arguing. Everybody's pissed about the people who aren't here."
Steve's voice was quiet, cautious, when he asked, "No word from Matt?"
"No. The little fucker couldn't even find a way to send a card."
"He is kind of on the run from, well...law enforcement in quite a few countries, Danny."
"Yes, which is something else everyone's pissed about and no one's talking about."
"I'm sorry, man."
Danny took a deep breath, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. "Can't be helped," he said. "At least Dad didn't have to go visit him in prison."
He heard the truck stop, and Steve's voice sounded closer, more intimate. "When are you coming home?"
As if Steve didn't have Danny's travel plans memorized--he could probably recite the schedule and flight numbers. But it had the desired effect, reminding him that he could leave all the family drama behind. "Day after tomorrow."
"I'll pick you up in the airport."
"In my car, I'm sure, which had better have fewer bullet holes than you do."
"Scratch, Danny, not a hole. And your car is fine. I haven't been driving it."
Danny's eyes opened. "Oh, sure, you pick when I'm gone not to drive my car."
"Well, uh...it's not the same without you here to bitch about it."
Seriously, the guy was dangerous to Danny's heart. "Yeah, nobody's endangered my life once behind the wheel here in New Jersey. It's kind of unsettling."
"I'm going to remind you of that when you get home."
"I have no doubt you will," Danny said. "I heard the truck stop. You home?"
"Not yet. I need to go to the ATM."
Danny sighed. "Then I should let you go."
"I've got time. We can talk a little longer."
Danny settled into the pillow, closing his eyes again. "Okay," he said, propping the phone between his ear and the pillow. "Talk."
---
END
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: PG
Summary: Sometimes you have to go home to find out where home really is.
Notes: Set almost at the end of 4.08, so spoilers for the ep inside. Lots of them. 8th in the S4 coda series, you really need to read the others, I think, to make sense of it.
This follows in the series of season 4 codas, so you should probably read The Weight of the World, Wallowing, A Moment, Drunk and Disoriented, Cognitive Dissonance, The Devil's in the Details and Dancing Around Elephants first.
SPOILERS FOR 408 INSIDE! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!
He'd gone to New Jersey to get away from Steve.
Well, that wasn't entirely true. He'd gone for his father's birthday--and what a clusterfuck that had turned into--but he's a adult, he can admit his ulterior motives to himself. And he knew that part of the reason he'd left was to get away from Steve.
Not that he wanted to be away. But he needed it.
He'd tried to put that kiss out of his mind, he really had. But it was a little like trying to ignore an itch that started under the back of his neck and went all the way down to the bottom of his feet and never entirely stopped.
He didn't get how Steve could just shove it away and lock it up. Maybe if Danny asked, Steve could get him into just that class in SEAL school. Maybe then he could just ignore the way that every touch between Steve and Catherine was starting to feel like ants running up and down that itch under his skin.
Because he wanted to help her. He liked her. And he certainly couldn't blame her for falling for Steve--that would be hypocrisy at its finest.
But Danny knew now. He knew what it felt like when Steve gripped your back like he didn't want to let go. What it was like when Steve literally stole your breath, his mouth taking everything out of you and leaving nothing behind that didn't have his mark on it.
God help him if he ever learned what it was like to have more. No amount of sympathy for Cath would help then.
A knock on his door was a welcome distraction. "Yeah?"
His dad stuck his head in. "Can I come in?"
"Of course. It's your house."
His dad laughed as he came in and shut the door. "Yeah, but it'll always be your room."
"Sure looks like it," Danny said, looking around at the posters--Don Mattingly, Claude Lemieux, and an old 1967 Camaro that he'd dreamed of owning as a teen. He didn't even recognize the kid who'd grown up in this room anymore. "What's up?" Danny asked. "Hiding from Mom?"
His dad rolled his eyes. "Come take a ride with me in my new car."
"You mean take a ride at nearly midnight to avoid the fact that Mom is reading you the riot act every chance she gets about the new car? No thanks."
"Danny, come on."
Danny held his hands out, palms up. "Nope. Sorry. I get enough of someone trying to kill me with the way he drives a sports car back home. I don't need to risk my life further."
His dad's smile was a little sad. "Okay."
"What?"
"You didn't even notice what you said, did you?"
Danny thought back over the words. "What?"
"'Back home.'"
"Oh, well...it's mine and Gracie's home now. I mean, what else am I supposed to call it?"
"It's okay," his dad said, his hand covering Danny's knee. "I'm glad you found something there that makes you happy."
There was something off in his dad's tone, but Danny couldn't figure out quite what it was. "Everything okay, Dad?"
"Everything's fine." His dad patted his knee and stood up. "Get some sleep and we can go for a ride in the morning."
"Great, I get one more night to live," Danny joked. "I'm just gonna check in back home and then I'm going to bed."
His dad ruffled his hair affectionately, one of the few people who got that privilege. "Night."
"Night, Dad."
He watched his dad walk out, waited until he couldn't hear his footsteps before pulling out his phone. He scrolled through his texts, frowning at one from Chin that had Danny on his feet and dialing the phone immediately.
Steve answered on the second ring, and Danny could tell he was on the speaker in the truck. "Miss me?" Steve said by way of a greeting.
"You got shot?" Danny yelled, lowering his voice before his parents came down the hall to see what was going on. "I'm gone for five minutes," he hissed, "and you go and get shot?"
"Danny, it was a scratch. No big deal."
"You actually let the paramedics patch you up."
"When don't I let the paramedics patch me up?"
"When it's just a scratch. A scratch gets a band aid. Paramedics imply more than just a scratch."
He heard Steve draw in a long breath. "Who told you?"
"Never mind that."
"Well did whoever told you mention the part where I was absolutely fine?"
Chin had--in fact, he'd led with that, but.... "That's not the point. See, if I'd been there to watch your back this would not have happened."
"Right, because neither of us ever gets shot."
"You get me shot all the time," Danny said. "I never get you shot."
"I'm pretty sure that's not true."
"Oh, so you're saying I'm a bad partner, is that what you're saying?" Danny dropped back onto the bed. "Who let you get shot anyway?"
Steve sighed. "No one let me get shot. We were caught by surprise."
"'We' who?"
"Grover."
Danny looked at the phone, but no, it was still Steve's face and name on the screen. "You co-opted Grover as a partner?"
"Co-opting would imply I had some sort of choice in the matter," Steve said. "But it all turned out fine. Well, we lost the hacker we were chasing, but I'll find him."
Danny leaned back against the pillow and closed his eyes. "Oh shit."
"What?"
"I know that voice."
"What voice?"
"That voice of yours, just now, with the 'I'll find him.' That, my friend, is your crusade voice. The one that tells me this guy is going to be sorry he shot you."
There was a long pause that made Danny sit up again. "He didn't shoot me. We were actually protecting him at the time."
"You were protecting the bad guy?"
"Well, in our defense, we didn't know he was the bad guy."
Clearly Danny was never able to leave Hawaii again. All the good police work went with him. "'Go home, Danno,' you said. 'We can handle things. No, you don't need to go to Japan, we can handle that. No, really, I won't blow up the island either, I promise.'"
"Danny--"
"You didn't blow up the island?" Danny said, shifting sideways and hanging his feet over the side of the bed. "Tell me you didn't. Oh God, what did you blow up?"
"I blew up nothing, I promise!"
Danny released a long breath. "Okay, that's good," he said, shifting around to prop himself up against the pillow once more. "And your bullet wound?"
"Is a scratch, I swear. It didn't even take out the tattoo."
And really, Danny could be forgiven for his immense relief over that. He had every reason to be fond of those tattoos and he wanted to get the chance to lick them thoroughly without scar tissue someday. In the God-only-knew-when future. "Oh well," Danny said, inspecting his fingernails, "I'm sure Catherine will take good care of your scratch."
The long pause that followed only managed to amplify the conflict Danny could hear in Steve's voice when he said, "Danno...."
"I didn't say anything."
But he didn't have to. That was the thing about them. They knew each other too well. They barely needed words, even 5,000 miles apart. "How's New Jersey?" Steve asked.
"Cold." He ignored Steve's laugh. "Mom's pissed about the car, Dad's pissed about turning 60. I'm pissed about the two of them arguing. Everybody's pissed about the people who aren't here."
Steve's voice was quiet, cautious, when he asked, "No word from Matt?"
"No. The little fucker couldn't even find a way to send a card."
"He is kind of on the run from, well...law enforcement in quite a few countries, Danny."
"Yes, which is something else everyone's pissed about and no one's talking about."
"I'm sorry, man."
Danny took a deep breath, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. "Can't be helped," he said. "At least Dad didn't have to go visit him in prison."
He heard the truck stop, and Steve's voice sounded closer, more intimate. "When are you coming home?"
As if Steve didn't have Danny's travel plans memorized--he could probably recite the schedule and flight numbers. But it had the desired effect, reminding him that he could leave all the family drama behind. "Day after tomorrow."
"I'll pick you up in the airport."
"In my car, I'm sure, which had better have fewer bullet holes than you do."
"Scratch, Danny, not a hole. And your car is fine. I haven't been driving it."
Danny's eyes opened. "Oh, sure, you pick when I'm gone not to drive my car."
"Well, uh...it's not the same without you here to bitch about it."
Seriously, the guy was dangerous to Danny's heart. "Yeah, nobody's endangered my life once behind the wheel here in New Jersey. It's kind of unsettling."
"I'm going to remind you of that when you get home."
"I have no doubt you will," Danny said. "I heard the truck stop. You home?"
"Not yet. I need to go to the ATM."
Danny sighed. "Then I should let you go."
"I've got time. We can talk a little longer."
Danny settled into the pillow, closing his eyes again. "Okay," he said, propping the phone between his ear and the pillow. "Talk."
---
END