fic: The Weight of the World (1/1)
Title: The Weight of the World
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: PG
Summary: The beers are on Catherine, the weight is all on Steve.
Notes: Took a while for my brain to come up with a coda - the problem with a really well done ep! :) But here it is finally, on not nearly enough sleep. Hope you enjoy.
SPOILERS FOR EP 401 - YOU'VE BEEN WARNED
The bar was a local haunt, one they frequented when they didn't want to go home just yet, but needed to decompress together over things no one else would understand. They had a favorite spot, even, small couches pressed together in a U-shape around a low table.
Steve looked around, unable to stop himself from scanning each one of them to make sure they were still in one piece. Chin had sunk back into the corner of the couch perpendicular to Steve's, looking lazy and relaxed when Steve knew he was probably anything but, not with Kono out there in danger. Catherine was close beside Steve, her hand resting on his thigh, her touch cool and light. She seemed none the worse for wear, despite her bruises and the slight burns around her wrists from ties pulled a little too tight.
Danny was on the couch with Chin, but sitting near Steve, their hands almost touching where they rested on opposite arms of the couches. He looked tired, Steve thought, after a moment's study. But good. Steve wished he knew Danny's secret for feeling everything that happened on the job so deeply and yet being able to shake it off when it was over. Steve had a few footlockers full of shit inside he carried from every tough assignment or case that just added to the weight of his personal life, none of it showing any sign of ever going away.
Cath patted Steve on the thigh before standing. "Ladies room," she said. "Order another round if the waiter comes back?"
Steve nodded and watched her go, seeing a lightness in her step that said she, like Danny, was letting the events of the day shed off her piece by piece. Maybe he'd ask her how she did it, how she just let it go after seeing people she cared about nearly killed. He needed to know, he really did, because if the NLM had been able to figure out that was his biggest weakness, it wasn't long before word got out.
Don't go after McGarrett. Go after his family.
Then again, they weren't the first ones to figure that out. Maybe Wo Fat had given them that info somewhere along the line. Steve had always been willing to take a bullet for someone else, to be the first to go in a situation, the first to put his neck on the line, because he could. Because he had the highest probability of success and the least to lose if it didn't go his way.
He looked at Chin, then at Danny, eyes lingering for a moment, watching as Danny took a drink, and it clicked. Steve was even more willing to be the one to put himself in danger now that he did have things to lose.
Funny how his father was still teaching him lessons long after he was gone.
Chin finished his beer and set the empty on the table, pushing on his knees as he got to his feet. "I'm gonna head home and get some rest," he said. "Tell Catherine thanks for the beers?"
Steve nodded, accepting a long handshake. "Good work today. Really."
"Even if you did let my car get blown up," Danny said, the smirk that went with his tone in full evidence.
"Hey, it was his plan," Chin said, nodding at Steve.
"Oh don't worry, I have plenty of retaliation planned for him."
Steve rolled his eyes. "Be careful getting home," he said. They'd all been awake way too long.
"Will do. See you guys in the morning."
He walked out, and Danny tapped Steve on the hand. "'Rest' my ass," he said. "Ten bucks says he's going to start looking for info to see where Kono and Adam have gone to hide from the Yakuza."
"Probably." Steve turned his head to look at Danny. "It's hard to sit by and do nothing when your family's in danger."
Danny's eyes said he understood the layers behind that statement, probably more than Steve did. "Sadly, we're not all Superman," Danny said, one corner of his mouth quirking up as he added, "Or Super SEAL. Seriously...you jumped on a helicopter, shot the pilot, and barely landed. You know SEALs only have one life, right? They're not even distant relatives of cats."
"It's so sweet how you nag because you care."
"I nag because you're insane." Danny took another drink. "And because you got my car blown up."
"Relax. The state will get you a new one."
Danny shrugged. "I liked that one. Even if I didn't get to drive it that often. It had character."
And they'd spent something like half their time in it together for three years. "The new one will build character."
"I know. It was just a car." Danny finished his drink, leaning forward to put the empty on the table. He wasn't sitting back into the couch when he finished, but still leaning forward, his knees touching Steve's leg. "It can be replaced. Unlike people. Especially if they throw themselves on helicopters and try to crash them."
"Nag."
"Crazy person."
Since Steve couldn't really argue that point right now, he shrugged and took a drink, tensing a little when Danny checked his watch. "Got somewhere to be?" Steve asked, forcing lightness into his tone.
"I should get back to Gabby, though I'm assuming she didn't take my 'don't move' literally."
"She doesn't seem that easily ordered around."
Danny's smile softened, and Steve took another drink to cover the sudden dryness in his throat. "She's not," he agreed.
"What are you going to say to her?"
Danny sighed. "I don't know."
"If you don't know, then you shouldn't say 'I love you,'" Steve said. "I'm telling you, you can't take it back."
"Tell that to my ex."
Steve huffed. "Which just proves my point."
"How, exactly, does an example of taking it back prove that you can't?"
"Okay, you can," Steve said, "but the fallout is..."
"Painful?" Danny supplied. "Expensive? Agonizing? Terrible?"
"Which, as I said, proves my point."
Danny watched him for a long moment, and Steve forced himself to sit still, barely managing to keep his fingers from twitching. "Despite what you think," Danny said slowly, "I don't throw that phrase around lightly."
"You said it to me in an air heart six months after we'd met," Steve teased.
He'd expect Danny to laugh, to come back with some witty comment that would keep up the banter, make things lighter. Instead, Danny gave him a long look, one that had Steve drinking just to have something to do with his hands and mouth. "I did," Danny said eventually, his hand warm and heavy on Steve's shoulder as Danny stood. His tone was just like his look, laced with meaning Steve couldn't work out. "Like I said, I don't throw that phrase around lightly."
Steve swallowed, his eyes following Danny's arm up to Danny's face, still with that look. "I--"
Danny's eyes snapped up to something behind Steve, a smile replacing that look. "Thanks for the beers," he said.
"You're welcome," Catherine replied as she sat down beside Steve again, pressing against him, cool, refreshing and safe. "You have to leave so soon?"
"Yeah, I have this thing with--never mind. Thanks again." He looked down at Steve, touching his shoulder for a fleeting second. "You can pick me up tomorrow, since you got my car blown up."
"I'll be there."
He watched Danny leave, his mind still turning that look over and over, trying to work it out. He felt like he did just before a case broke, all the pieces to the puzzle there, but the connection not quite made.
"Steve?"
He put the puzzle aside and focused his attention on Catherine, doing his best to ignore the nagging feeling in the back of his head that wouldn't quite go away.
---
END
402 coda - Wallowing
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: PG
Summary: The beers are on Catherine, the weight is all on Steve.
Notes: Took a while for my brain to come up with a coda - the problem with a really well done ep! :) But here it is finally, on not nearly enough sleep. Hope you enjoy.
SPOILERS FOR EP 401 - YOU'VE BEEN WARNED
The bar was a local haunt, one they frequented when they didn't want to go home just yet, but needed to decompress together over things no one else would understand. They had a favorite spot, even, small couches pressed together in a U-shape around a low table.
Steve looked around, unable to stop himself from scanning each one of them to make sure they were still in one piece. Chin had sunk back into the corner of the couch perpendicular to Steve's, looking lazy and relaxed when Steve knew he was probably anything but, not with Kono out there in danger. Catherine was close beside Steve, her hand resting on his thigh, her touch cool and light. She seemed none the worse for wear, despite her bruises and the slight burns around her wrists from ties pulled a little too tight.
Danny was on the couch with Chin, but sitting near Steve, their hands almost touching where they rested on opposite arms of the couches. He looked tired, Steve thought, after a moment's study. But good. Steve wished he knew Danny's secret for feeling everything that happened on the job so deeply and yet being able to shake it off when it was over. Steve had a few footlockers full of shit inside he carried from every tough assignment or case that just added to the weight of his personal life, none of it showing any sign of ever going away.
Cath patted Steve on the thigh before standing. "Ladies room," she said. "Order another round if the waiter comes back?"
Steve nodded and watched her go, seeing a lightness in her step that said she, like Danny, was letting the events of the day shed off her piece by piece. Maybe he'd ask her how she did it, how she just let it go after seeing people she cared about nearly killed. He needed to know, he really did, because if the NLM had been able to figure out that was his biggest weakness, it wasn't long before word got out.
Don't go after McGarrett. Go after his family.
Then again, they weren't the first ones to figure that out. Maybe Wo Fat had given them that info somewhere along the line. Steve had always been willing to take a bullet for someone else, to be the first to go in a situation, the first to put his neck on the line, because he could. Because he had the highest probability of success and the least to lose if it didn't go his way.
He looked at Chin, then at Danny, eyes lingering for a moment, watching as Danny took a drink, and it clicked. Steve was even more willing to be the one to put himself in danger now that he did have things to lose.
Funny how his father was still teaching him lessons long after he was gone.
Chin finished his beer and set the empty on the table, pushing on his knees as he got to his feet. "I'm gonna head home and get some rest," he said. "Tell Catherine thanks for the beers?"
Steve nodded, accepting a long handshake. "Good work today. Really."
"Even if you did let my car get blown up," Danny said, the smirk that went with his tone in full evidence.
"Hey, it was his plan," Chin said, nodding at Steve.
"Oh don't worry, I have plenty of retaliation planned for him."
Steve rolled his eyes. "Be careful getting home," he said. They'd all been awake way too long.
"Will do. See you guys in the morning."
He walked out, and Danny tapped Steve on the hand. "'Rest' my ass," he said. "Ten bucks says he's going to start looking for info to see where Kono and Adam have gone to hide from the Yakuza."
"Probably." Steve turned his head to look at Danny. "It's hard to sit by and do nothing when your family's in danger."
Danny's eyes said he understood the layers behind that statement, probably more than Steve did. "Sadly, we're not all Superman," Danny said, one corner of his mouth quirking up as he added, "Or Super SEAL. Seriously...you jumped on a helicopter, shot the pilot, and barely landed. You know SEALs only have one life, right? They're not even distant relatives of cats."
"It's so sweet how you nag because you care."
"I nag because you're insane." Danny took another drink. "And because you got my car blown up."
"Relax. The state will get you a new one."
Danny shrugged. "I liked that one. Even if I didn't get to drive it that often. It had character."
And they'd spent something like half their time in it together for three years. "The new one will build character."
"I know. It was just a car." Danny finished his drink, leaning forward to put the empty on the table. He wasn't sitting back into the couch when he finished, but still leaning forward, his knees touching Steve's leg. "It can be replaced. Unlike people. Especially if they throw themselves on helicopters and try to crash them."
"Nag."
"Crazy person."
Since Steve couldn't really argue that point right now, he shrugged and took a drink, tensing a little when Danny checked his watch. "Got somewhere to be?" Steve asked, forcing lightness into his tone.
"I should get back to Gabby, though I'm assuming she didn't take my 'don't move' literally."
"She doesn't seem that easily ordered around."
Danny's smile softened, and Steve took another drink to cover the sudden dryness in his throat. "She's not," he agreed.
"What are you going to say to her?"
Danny sighed. "I don't know."
"If you don't know, then you shouldn't say 'I love you,'" Steve said. "I'm telling you, you can't take it back."
"Tell that to my ex."
Steve huffed. "Which just proves my point."
"How, exactly, does an example of taking it back prove that you can't?"
"Okay, you can," Steve said, "but the fallout is..."
"Painful?" Danny supplied. "Expensive? Agonizing? Terrible?"
"Which, as I said, proves my point."
Danny watched him for a long moment, and Steve forced himself to sit still, barely managing to keep his fingers from twitching. "Despite what you think," Danny said slowly, "I don't throw that phrase around lightly."
"You said it to me in an air heart six months after we'd met," Steve teased.
He'd expect Danny to laugh, to come back with some witty comment that would keep up the banter, make things lighter. Instead, Danny gave him a long look, one that had Steve drinking just to have something to do with his hands and mouth. "I did," Danny said eventually, his hand warm and heavy on Steve's shoulder as Danny stood. His tone was just like his look, laced with meaning Steve couldn't work out. "Like I said, I don't throw that phrase around lightly."
Steve swallowed, his eyes following Danny's arm up to Danny's face, still with that look. "I--"
Danny's eyes snapped up to something behind Steve, a smile replacing that look. "Thanks for the beers," he said.
"You're welcome," Catherine replied as she sat down beside Steve again, pressing against him, cool, refreshing and safe. "You have to leave so soon?"
"Yeah, I have this thing with--never mind. Thanks again." He looked down at Steve, touching his shoulder for a fleeting second. "You can pick me up tomorrow, since you got my car blown up."
"I'll be there."
He watched Danny leave, his mind still turning that look over and over, trying to work it out. He felt like he did just before a case broke, all the pieces to the puzzle there, but the connection not quite made.
"Steve?"
He put the puzzle aside and focused his attention on Catherine, doing his best to ignore the nagging feeling in the back of his head that wouldn't quite go away.
---
END
402 coda - Wallowing