Fic: Measure Every Grief (4/5)
Part 3
News from Atlantis was trickling out at a maddening pace, so as the fever in Athos began to wane, Teyla returned to the palace early in the morning, intent on learning what was really happening. She had no doubt that Lord David was fulfilling his duties well without her, but it was clear that communication with the mainland was not his highest priority now.
After leaving her traveling cloak and her gloves in her chambers, Teyla set out in search of answers. It was very early, but she made her way toward the queen's chambers, knowing that Kate and Carson were probably both awake.
To her surprise, she came upon Sarah Gardner on her way. "Sarah," Teyla called out, hastening to catch up to her and the other lady turned. "What news is there?"
"Of the queen?" Sarah asked, and Teyla nodded. "I have heard nothing since a little while after midnight."
Her curiosity piqued, Teyla asked, "What happened at midnight?"
Sarah looked away. "I... had some difficulty sleeping," she replied. "I walked past the queen's chambers and asked the guards if there had been any change in her condition."
Teyla nodded solemnly. "What else has happened? I did not hear much while I was in Athos."
"Not much, I fear, but some good," Sarah replied. "Daniel awoke yesterday. It seems he will survive this largely unscathed."
"I heard reports that he had relapsed."
The corners of Sarah's mouth tightened. "I believe he and Jack argued yesterday," she said. "Perhaps that caused him distress, but it would not have brought back the fever."
At the mention of Jack, Teyla bristled. "I suppose Lord Jonathan remains in excellent health."
"He is deeply troubled, Countess," Sarah replied, her expression hardening, "both by the results of his own folly and by everything else that has happened. Not the least of which is the queen's welfare."
Teyla wanted to point out that the queen's welfare might not be so dire had it not been for Jack's actions, but she held her tongue on that score. "Let us go to our sovereign, my lady."
"If we are let in," Sarah told her lowly. "I am not sure if it should be so, but Lady Katherine has kept nearly everyone away from her Majesty."
"I would not attempt to come between them now," Teyla remarked. "Kate can be as fierce as a lioness when it comes to protecting Elizabeth."
"I cannot blame her."
At the queen's door the guards allowed them into the antechamber, but Kate stepped out of the bedchamber and did not let them proceed further. She looked little like the lioness Teyla imagined her to be, for she was clearly utterly exhausted. Moved by her friend's weary appearance, Teyla stepped forward and embraced Kate. Kate was surprised at first but then hugged her tightly. "How is she?" Teyla asked, stepping back.
"There is no change," Kate said, her voice low and rough. "Carson has been alarmed, for the fever seems to be progressing faster in her than it did in her cousin."
"Perhaps that will bring her recovery sooner," Sarah replied gently.
Kate looked at Sarah for a moment, clearly not believing so. "Perhaps."
"Sarah and I are meeting with your father soon," Teyla said. "Is there any message you would have us convey to him?"
Kate bit her lip. "Give him my love, Teyla. There is little else to be said now."
"I will."
Teyla reached out and touched Kate's arm to comfort her one last time. Then the door to the bedchamber opened, revealing Marcus. Teyla was not surprised to learn that he too was keeping a vigil over the queen. She met his eyes for a moment and then looked back to Kate. "We are all praying for her."
Seemingly overcome, Kate kissed Teyla's cheek. Marcus gently guided her back into the room behind him, and Teyla looked to Sarah. "I do not envy them," Sarah said. "But we have work of our own to do."
Teyla took a deep breath before they moved toward the door. "Indeed."
*~*~*~*
Lord Daniel was resting, at the order of the Asgard, and Peter found himself once more without any tasks to occupy his time. News was trickling in from along the coast that the illness seemed to have peaked. Yet the island remained quiet and full of foreboding, still in the shadow of the queen's illness, at least metaphorically.
The clouds had parted around midday and as Peter wandered through the hallways, the afternoon sun beamed bright through the windows. He found himself near one of the parapets and saw that the trapdoor at the top of the stairs was open. Curious, he ascended to find Master McKay pacing back and forth aimlessly.
Peter suspected McKay had come here because the parapet overlooked the harbor and shipyard.
"Is there any news?" McKay asked as soon as Peter had climbed onto the parapet. It was the same question everyone was asking at every meeting.
"No change that I heard of," Peter said.
McKay leaned against the wall, arms folded across his chest. Peter stood not far away, looking over the harbor and the coast beyond it. Fall would be upon them soon. Even from here he could see fields inland that would soon be ready for harvest.
"I yelled at her," McKay blurted out, startling him.
"I beg your pardon?"
The shipwright looked uncomfortable. "The queen. The last time I saw her, I was yelling at her. I had just heard of the plan in the college to cease funding the navy project. I was trying to impress upon her the importance of my work for the safety of Atalan."
Peter remembered Elizabeth's harried countenance after that meeting, but he checked himself from telling McKay. It would do no good now anyway.
The other man sighed. "She knew that, of course. I know her Majesty is no fool." He shook his head, staring down at the yard, where the keel of a ship was visible through the frameworks. McKay's voice dropped. "I have accomplished more here in a year than I would have in a lifetime in Iolan, and I could not have done it without the queen's patronage. I owe her."
Peter did his best to be truthful while also comforting, for he knew McKay's attitude chafed Elizabeth's patience at the best of times. "I'm certain her Majesty knows you are grateful."
McKay nodded. "I just wish my last encounter with her had not gone as it did."
"Perhaps you should remember that, the next time you have the urge to yell at the queen," Peter pointed out. He couldn't restrain himself.
McKay rolled his eyes. "Possibly, though I know it is unlikely. I just wish there was something useful I could do."
Peter could understand that feeling all too well. "So do I." He smiled just a little. "I suspect you are not the type of man who prays?"
McKay snorted. "No, though I will spare you my lecture on the futileness of such endeavors."
"Thank you for that, at least," Peter replied dryly. Then he sobered. "I fear there is nothing to do now but pray, and wait."
"So we wait," McKay said, more to himself than to Peter.
The two of them stood there in silence as the sun sank and the day's light and heat faded away.
*~*~*~*
Having spent enough time lying in bed to satisfy Master Loki, Daniel was allowed to leave his room late in the afternoon. He could not bear confinement any longer, even if his progress through the corridors was slowed by his body's weakness.
He made his way to Lord George's chambers. Daniel felt it imperative that he and the marquis speak. Master Loki had looked grave when Daniel announced his intentions and then admitted to Daniel that the older gentleman was not recovering as well as the Asgard would like.
When Daniel settled into a chair at George's bedside, the truth of Master Loki's words was apparent. Though on the road to recovery longer than Daniel, George still looked pale and lacked the appearance of vigor Daniel was used to seeing in him. Sometimes Daniel forgot the other man was nearly twice his age. The Goa'uld, the Ori, the Wraith, Kinsey and a myriad of other forces had ensured those years were not quiet or easy.
Daniel knew better than to make more than a polite inquiry, though. Instead he settled in his seat and exchanged what bits of information he had with George. Neither of them had much more news than the other and soon Daniel was tapping his fingers restlessly on the arm of the chair.
"Two assassination attempts, that we know of for certain," he began reciting. "At least one attempt at kidnapping. Kinsey, the regency, all the various childhood illnesses she avoided. All of that and now..."
George sighed. "And now we are helpless."
"More so than ever before," Daniel muttered. "I cannot believe it has come to this."
He meant more than Elizabeth's terrible illness, of course, but George had only spoken of Jack in the most objective of terms. It seemed neither of them wanted to canvass that subject in detail just yet. Daniel was still too angry to be rational about it, and suspected he would remain so at least until Elizabeth was out of danger.
George sat up a little in the bed. "We have at least one factor on our side."
"What is that?"
"She is the daughter of King Edmund and Margaret of Langford. If ever there was a family lineage known for stubbornness..."
Daniel glared for a moment before he felt a laugh bubble up inside of him. It was silly but he let himself be comforted by the joke.
Unfortunately, George also laughed, then began to cough heavily. A nurse bustled in from the other room and brought him a cup of water to drink. Daniel felt his worry increase, but a baleful look from the older man kept him silent.
When the coughing had subsided, George sighed again. "Will you take your meal here, Daniel?" he asked with uncharacteristic quietness.
Daniel had no desire to be alone with his own thoughts again either. "Of course, my lord."
*~*~*~*
Kate was reasonably sure that the only person more exhausted than herself was Carson. He had not slept much before Elizabeth fell ill, due to the number of sick in the palace. Now Elizabeth was his only care, but he was relentless in watching over her, sleeping even less than Kate. There were moments she wondered if he believed he could keep Elizabeth alive by sheer force of will.
It was an admirable trait in a doctor, to be sure, but it was also directly responsible for his current state. He had lain down upon the cot at the foot of Elizabeth's bed, asking Kate to wake him in half an hour. However, more than two hours after he'd fallen asleep, there was no change in Elizabeth's condition and Kate had not the heart to wake him. At this point, there was little they could do for Elizabeth that Kate could not do by herself.
For a time she kept herself occupied, still trying to cool Elizabeth's body, but soon she got up from the bed, needing to stretch her legs a little. She herself was cold, but they dared not light a fire in the room while Elizabeth continued feverish. Instead, she quietly pulled one of her shawls from a trunk. She laid it out, though, before she would wear it, for the garments for cooler weather had not yet been aired recently.
She remembered packing away all the winter gowns and cloaks and shawls one day in the spring, not long after Laura's wedding. Though Elizabeth had been much occupied at the time, the simple ritual had kept her hands active. It was in idle moments when Kate had most worried about her friend. Elizabeth had nervous about the trip to Iolan, of course, but back then Kate suspected Elizabeth's thoughts had been in the south, where John had gone.
Kate knew that John had written to Elizabeth and had his cousin deliver a letter during the summit, but his absence had disappointed Elizabeth greatly, even hurt her. Lord Mitchell had told them of the destruction of one of Sheppard's cities, but Kate had no idea what John's letter had said. Elizabeth had not spoken of it beyond indicating John was detained unavoidably in Caldora, and had not shown Kate the letter itself. Had he asked forgiveness for not coming? Had he left Elizabeth with any assurances at all? Had he asked for a release from her service?
She shook her head as she paced. Elizabeth would have told her if John was never coming back. The queen had been withdrawn since that trip, and Kate knew her own behavior had been more formal and chilly after the reprimand Elizabeth had delivered over the breaking of her courtship with Marcus, but Kate was certain if Elizabeth had received such a request from John she would have told Kate and Laura. It could not be that.
Did Elizabeth even know for certain what John's feelings were? He had left Elizabeth with a kiss and, so far as anyone else knew, little else. A kiss in the heat of the moment did not mean that John loved her, or that he intended to return. The strain of living with such uncertainty had worn at Elizabeth for months.
So much had happened in so short a time. Laura's marriage, the trip to Iolan, the discovery of Simmons' treachery and Kinsey's guilt, Radek's proposal, the ongoing war in the south and the journeys to Langford, Heightmeyer and Neill, then the summit and now the heat wave and all that had occurred in the last few weeks. Had Elizabeth not succumbed to the fever, she would still have been exhausted and in dire need of rest.
Unfortunately, other than Kate and Laura, the one person who was most gifted at lifting Elizabeth's spirits was John of Sheppard, and John was gone. Laura had been as faithful as possible but her marriage had produced changes that were unavoidable. As she turned toward the bed once more, Kate knew she had allowed her romantic troubles and Elizabeth's censure to harm their friendship. She had not been as present for Elizabeth as she should have been these past few months. Before her lay the consequence for that neglect.
Though Kate had told others that the queen's condition remained the same, there had been a change today. A few hours ago, Elizabeth's breathing had been horribly labored. Kate and Carson had tried propping her up, turning her on her side, anything to ease the strain on her lungs. Nothing had seemed to help at the time, but now her breaths were quiet and still. Yet the change gave Kate no comfort. In fact, the stillness alarmed her. It seemed to her that Elizabeth was giving up.
Unable to stand silent and watch Elizabeth slipping away, Kate walked about the room once more. Her gaze fell on the desk, where Laura's most recent letter lay. She felt terrible for her friend, so isolated and so clearly miserable. Her symptoms seemed particularly wearisome, and more so while alone. Steadying herself, she went to the desk and wrote a brief note to Laura with a trembling hand. She did not want to alarm her friend, but Laura deserved to know what was going on. If this was the end, then... Then they all needed to prepare themselves.
Kate gave the message to one of the guards to deliver and she went back into the bedchamber. Everything around her, the furniture, the hangings on the walls, the bed and the way the light fell through the window and onto the carpet, all of it was achingly familiar. This had been her home for so long, Kate could hardly remember what it was to have any other.
Standing beside the bed, she lifted Elizabeth's hand, and then she knelt down. "Do you remember when we met, Elizabeth?" Kate asked, even though she knew Elizabeth could not hear. "You were so eager to meet Laura and me. You knew so few girls your age. I... I did not wish to come to Atlantis at all, but I was dreading it even more then. I did not want to be the arranged friend of a spoiled and selfish little princess. Not that you were, it turned out, but I was scared of what you might be like."
Kate sniffled for a few seconds, her throat constricting. "After your parents died, on your next birthday Daniel and Jack took us to the mainland. You were barely able to contain yourself. There was a little pool in a grove and they were teaching us to swim." She almost smiled at the memory. "Daniel was worried about taking us to a place so unguarded, but Jack declared he would not be responsible for drowning the princess in rough seas. It was such a beautiful day. I think it was the first time I'd been off the island since my mother brought me to interview with your mother. It was sunny and just warm enough for the water to be lovely. The whole place wasn't anything like home and I didn't care. It was just beautiful."
Her eyes began to fill with tears. "I remember Jack carrying Laura and me both out of the water after we'd nearly drowned each other," she continued. It seemed a little strange to talk about Jack now, after all that had transpired, but given their history with Jack it seemed stranger still to ignore the tremendous impact he'd had on their lives. "They didn't let us stay in the water the whole time we were there, but they let us play. We were lying there in the grass, drying out in the sun, and you held my hand. I couldn't believe that I had ever wanted to be somewhere else, that I'd hoped you would hate me so much that I would be sent home. I had stayed because it was my duty, but I think that was the first time I felt something more than duty. You were already so dear to me..."
By then Kate had tears rolling down her cheeks and her breaths were coming in gasps. "Elizabeth, please," she managed. "You are my best friend, dearer to me than a sister and more than just my sovereign. I cannot lose you."
She could no longer restrain herself and she began to weep. With Elizabeth's hand clutched between hers, Kate laid her head down upon the bed to muffle her sobs, until the door behind her creaked open.
*~*~*~*
Laura had become so desperate for occupation, she turned to hobbies she had not pursued in some time. She had even tried to draw, struggling to recall the lessons the governess had taught to her, Kate, and Elizabeth when they were younger. It hadn't gone well, but then, she'd never had much talent for the art to begin with.
She hadn't left these rooms in days. The morning sickness kept her occupied with her own misery at times, but other than that, she was stuck inside with nothing but her own thoughts to occupy her. The notes she received from Kate and Carson helped, but those were sporadic at best. Few other people approached her but the maid, which was good as it lessened the chance of illness reaching her, but it did not help her mental state.
As evening fell, she was ecstatic when a knock sounded upon the door. Looking across the room, she called eagerly, "Come in."
To her surprise, it wasn't one of the servants or Peter with a message for her, but Teyla. Laura quickly moved to stand up, but was waved down by the other woman.
"Laura," Teyla greeted warmly as she moved to sit down in another chair near to Laura's. "How are you?"
She smiled weakly. "As well as can be expected," she replied. "I confess I had not thought this nausea would be so constant, though I am not sure if that is unrelated to stress."
Teyla looked remorseful. "I did not know your condition when I left, or I would have brought back one of Charin's soothing teas. She was a midwife years ago and still keeps a store for the pregnant women in Athos. I will have some sent to you as soon as I am able."
Laura leaned back in the chair. "You might send Charin herself. I do not even know if we have a midwife on the island."
Teyla grinned a bit at that. "You do not trust your husband to care for the babe?"
Laura smiled. "I have full confidence in my husband knowing that in matters of pregnancy and childbirth, he should defer to someone who has vastly more understanding and experience than he does."
They laughed quietly, though Teyla's eyes strayed to the lamp on the table, and the fading light outside. She looked tired.
"Are things still dire on the mainland?" Laura asked.
Teyla shook her head. "The fever seems to be burning itself out," she told her. "There have been no new cases, and most of those afflicted seem to be improving."
"That's good news," Laura murmured. The thought that if only such fortune could be extended to Elizabeth and those in the capital lay unspoken between them.
They talked a little more, and then Teyla had to leave. Undoubtedly she had business to attend, but Laura wished she could have stayed a little longer. Having someone to talk to certainly helped to while away the time.
Not long after Teyla left, however, there was a knock on the door and Laura blinked. She had been virtually alone for such a long time, now she felt unnaturally besieged. A guard stood in the corridor, a note in his hand, and after delivering it he left with only a silent nod.
Filled with a sudden dread, Laura closed the door and opened the message.
It was from Kate. She needed to make herself ready for the worst.
The nausea returned but Laura knew it was not her condition causing it. She was sick with fear and utterly drained as she leaned against the closed door. How was she to prepare herself? How was she to brace herself for the death of someone she loved so much?
Tears rolled down her cheeks and she made no effort to check them as she looked at the note again, thinking of poor Kate watching Elizabeth waste away. Laura was no longer certain which was worse, being kept away or being unable to leave. They needed to be together now, together with Elizabeth. They had always needed each other, and never more than they did now.
But she could not go to them, and that hurt all the more.
The dizziness returned, and Laura slid down to the floor. Knowing that nothing would ease the pain of what was to come, she pulled her knees to her chest and wept.
*~*~*~*
In the evening, Marcus left his appointed place for a brief time to see to duties he had put off the last few days. His lieutenant had done well but he could no longer ignore the fact that he had other responsibilities in the palace. Thankfully, his conversations with the watchmen and the sea captains who were in Atlantis now were brief. With all the rain, the seas were not calm, but the agitation would keep the Wraith from attacking in this vulnerable hour. It was the one thing that gave Marcus relief. He would not have to fear killing Elizabeth with a hasty escape from the palace.
It was the only thing he did not have to worry about, it seemed. On the way back to the queen's chambers, well after sunset, he wondered how much longer she could survive in this manner. Every time she had woken, Kate had gotten her to drink a little water, but it had not been much. She had not been eating well before the fever struck, and now she seemed to be fading away before their eyes.
The men standing guard opened the door to the antechamber for him, and Marcus proceeded into the bedchamber without knocking. What he saw made him stop in his tracks in terror.
Kate was on her knees at the side of the bed, her whole body shaking as she sobbed. Elizabeth's hand was clutched in both of hers. Upon his entry, she looked over her shoulder at him, but made no attempt to hide her distress. He had seen Kate in many unguarded moments over the years but never like this.
Marcus shut the door and hurried across the room. "Kate, tell me she is not..." He could not bring himself to utter the worst. He could barely make his voice work. He thought he had known how much Elizabeth meant to him, but in that moment, he was not sure how any of them would bear losing her.
Kate shook her head and kissed Elizabeth's fingers, usually a gesture of obeisance when the queen wore the ring signifying her authority. Now it seemed more anguished than anything else. "She has not woken today, Marcus," Kate managed to say, her voice cracking. "She is slipping away, and there is nothing I can do."
Without hesitation, or even wondering if he should be so bold, Marcus took hold of Kate's hand. She looked up at him and he helped her stand. For a long moment they only stared at each other. He wondered what to say, how to tell her that he shared her despair, a tightness in his chest that had not abated since he'd discovered the queen unconscious. That he too felt powerless, unable to fulfill the vows he'd sworn to Elizabeth.
Then Kate melted against him, and he knew he could at least comfort her. He wrapped his arms around Kate, and they clung to each other.
She started to cry against his chest, and he stroked her hair gently. It was a mess, having been braided some days ago but not seen to since. In those days something strange seemed to have happened between them, too. The ugly things they had said to each other in Neill still echoed in his mind, but the ultimatum she had issued seemed as though it were from another lifetime. With a common goal now, they had worked together seamlessly, something he would have thought impossible just days before.
Kate took a deep breath, and Marcus bowed his head to speak to her softly. "You haven't failed her, Kate," he murmured.
Her lip trembled. "Marcus, I don't know what I would do without her."
"I know." That was as far as he trusted his voice now. He remembered Kate's resolution not to remove herself from Elizabeth and the things he had accused her of. It was too painful to think that he had scorned a love and devotion that he shared with a depth he had not truly understood until now.
He guided Kate over to the small sofa not far from Elizabeth's bed, and there they sat down. As Kate leaned against him, Marcus finally noticed that Carson was asleep on the cot at the foot of the bed. The exhaustion of the last few days must have taken hold at last, and Marcus could sympathize. No sooner had he sat down than weariness began to overtake him.
He would have fought it off, but Kate's head was on his shoulder and her hand on his chest, and he could not bring himself to stay awake. The last thing he saw was the bed, where Elizabeth lay quiet and still before them.
*~*~*~*
When Kate awoke, she opened her eyes for a long moment and then closed them again, turning her face toward Marcus' neck. The hand on her back moved downward, and she realized that bright sunlight was streaming into the room. She had slept through the night for the first time since Elizabeth had fallen ill.
She was also more or less on top of Marcus, she realized, an arm around his shoulders and a leg between his. One of his hands was on her back while the other rested on her hip. Though she was fully clothed, she thought this might be more awkward and improper than the evening in Athos. There was certainly no medical reason for it this time.
Kate began to wonder how in the world she was going to remove herself from him without waking him, as she was not keen on having him wake with her draped over him like this. Before she could do anything to that end, the hand on her hip slowly drifted upward, pulling her closer.
He inhaled deeply and Kate lifted her head just in time to see his eyes open. He looked confused for a moment but that cleared away quickly. She could have sworn that he was the one blushing this time, though only a little, and she moved herself to a more decorous position. He let her go, but immediately she missed the warmth and comfort.
Before either of them said anything, there was a noise from the bed, and Kate's whole body was suddenly tense as she turned. The queen was taking slow, deep breaths, her hand moving up her stomach, and her eyes were open.
"Elizabeth!" Kate cried, bolting from the sofa to cross the room to the bed. Her hand was trembling as she felt Elizabeth's forehead and cheeks. Her face was so much cooler than it had been even twelve hours before, and she had a light sheen of sweat on her skin.
Kate had tears in her eyes when she looked at Carson, who had awoken as soon as Kate had spoken and raced to the other side of the bed. "I think the fever has broken," she told him, her voice trembling.
The weary doctor had never looked so relieved, even though he came around the bed to examine his patient once more. While Carson took her pulse, Elizabeth whispered, "Kate, I'm thirsty."
Kate looked at Marcus, who had come up behind her, and he immediately went to pour a glass of water. Together Carson and Kate managed to prop Elizabeth up enough to drink, and Kate held the glass for her until she had had enough. She sank into the pillows and closed her eyes, but her fingers gripped Kate's tightly and did not let go.
The gesture opened the floodgates, and for the second time in a day Kate began to cry openly. This time too Marcus stepped in to comfort her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him, thinking that nothing could make her more joyful in this moment, except to have Laura here as well.
*~*~*~*
Elizabeth ached all over. She remembered waking a few times while she was sick but her last clear memory was of the morning when she had collapsed. The news from Radek, her loss in the college, Jack's betrayal - they all felt as though they had happened just a few hours ago, not days. She was relieved beyond measure to know that Lord George and her beloved cousin were also recovering, but she wondered now what would become of her country and her reign. How was she to recover in the eyes of the college?
Carson, as he wiped sweat from her brow, seemed to know where her thoughts were and he admonished her gently to think on other things. There was little she could do until she had her strength back. To that end, he left her in Kate's care, saying he was sending down to the kitchen for broth.
Kate, once she had recovered her composure, had sent Marcus to inform certain nobles that the queen had awakened, so she and Elizabeth were alone for a little while. Kate took that opportunity to help Elizabeth clean up and change into fresh clothes. The process exhausted her, but when she settled back against the pillows again, she was already feeling better. "You're a mess, Kate," she said to her old friend.
Kate actually blushed then, touching her hair before pulling the braid out. She got up to retrieve a brush but came back to sit on the bed with Elizabeth. "You scared me, Elizabeth," she confessed. "I had no idea you had grown so ill, and I - I was a little ashamed of having missed it."
"Kate, do not burden yourself," Elizabeth replied. "I had no idea either."
There was a long silence while Kate brushed her hair, working out knots. Kate also seemed to guess what Elizabeth was thinking of, for she asked, "Have you thought any of what you will do about the college?"
Elizabeth sighed and leaned her head back against the pillows. "I do not know," she said. "What is to be done? Jack got his way through deceit, certainly, but I gave my consent. I do not know what I shall do."
Her anger and hurt with Jack had not abated, and Elizabeth did not see a way for him to come back into her good graces. How was she to trust him when he had betrayed her so completely?
Neither of them said anything as Kate finished brushing her hair, a rather long process, especially this morning. Elizabeth was sure her own hair needed similar treatment, but she was not certain she could sit up long enough. Perhaps in a few hours Kate might be able to take care of that for her. In the meantime she drifted quietly until there was a knock on the door.
Carson peeked his head in. "Majesty, do you think you might be up to a visitor?" he asked.
Perplexed, she said, "Who is it?"
Carson smiled and opened the door all the way for his wife, and Laura fairly danced across the room and landed on the bed while Carson shut the door to give them privacy. Elizabeth could not keep from smiling. "Laura, where have you been?" she asked, squeezing Laura's hand while Laura kissed her cheeks.
There was a brief flash of pain in Laura's expression, but then Kate smiled. "Elizabeth, I believe Laura has some news to share."
Laura looked as though she were going to burst. "I'm with child, Elizabeth."
Elizabeth's jaw dropped, and then she could not keep a smile from her face, however weary. "Laura, that is wonderful news!"
"It is certain, then?" Kate asked.
"I have not consulted a midwife yet, but my stomach seems to rebel at everything now," Laura replied, rolling her eyes. "It is most inconvenient."
"I would think so," Elizabeth replied, laughing a little. She had not had time to wonder at Laura's absence, but she realized her friend must not have been attending her these last days. "Carson kept you away, didn't he? To protect the baby?"
Laura nodded, her face growing serious. "Many times I thought to defy him, but..." She trailed off, her hand pressing to her abdomen. "There is something I have told neither of you, but now I want you to know."
Elizabeth's smile fell, and she reached to brush Laura's cheek with her knuckles. "What is it, Laura?" she asked.
Laura seemed uncharacteristically hesitant. "Do you remember my illness in Neill?" she asked. Kate and Elizabeth both nodded, and Laura looked down at her fingernails. "I was not sick, exactly. I was pregnant then too, but I lost the child."
"Oh, Laura," Kate murmured. She put a comforting hand on Laura's shoulder.
"It was not something I wanted to talk about with anyone, even Carson," she continued. "But that is why Carson wanted to keep me away from anyone who was ill, and why I agreed with him." Laura raised her eyes and Elizabeth saw the grief and guilt in them clearly. "Believe me, Elizabeth," she implored. "This is the only thing that would have kept me from you these last few days."
"I believe you, Laura," Elizabeth replied, squeezing Laura's hand tightly. "I would never have you harm yourself or your child on my account."
Laura shifted around then, lying down carefully next to Elizabeth and laying her head gently on her shoulder. "I've missed you two so much," she said. "I thought I would go mad, left to my own devices for so long."
"I'm surprised you weren't climbing the walls," Elizabeth remarked.
She looked at Kate, who was smiling. "Who is to say that she wasn't?"
"True." Elizabeth agreed. "And if she was alone, she cannot disprove it."
Laura began to defend herself, but Elizabeth let Kate continue in her stead. She was tired, too tired to respond to their antics as she might want, but it was good to be with them both again. Courtships and marriages and parents and children might all strive to break them apart, but Elizabeth knew that the bond she had with these two was stronger than any blood tie, and nothing in life would truly take them from her side.
She closed her eyes while her two companions bickered playfully, and her last thought before she fell asleep was that it was good to have at least one thing back to normal, even for a little while.
News from Atlantis was trickling out at a maddening pace, so as the fever in Athos began to wane, Teyla returned to the palace early in the morning, intent on learning what was really happening. She had no doubt that Lord David was fulfilling his duties well without her, but it was clear that communication with the mainland was not his highest priority now.
After leaving her traveling cloak and her gloves in her chambers, Teyla set out in search of answers. It was very early, but she made her way toward the queen's chambers, knowing that Kate and Carson were probably both awake.
To her surprise, she came upon Sarah Gardner on her way. "Sarah," Teyla called out, hastening to catch up to her and the other lady turned. "What news is there?"
"Of the queen?" Sarah asked, and Teyla nodded. "I have heard nothing since a little while after midnight."
Her curiosity piqued, Teyla asked, "What happened at midnight?"
Sarah looked away. "I... had some difficulty sleeping," she replied. "I walked past the queen's chambers and asked the guards if there had been any change in her condition."
Teyla nodded solemnly. "What else has happened? I did not hear much while I was in Athos."
"Not much, I fear, but some good," Sarah replied. "Daniel awoke yesterday. It seems he will survive this largely unscathed."
"I heard reports that he had relapsed."
The corners of Sarah's mouth tightened. "I believe he and Jack argued yesterday," she said. "Perhaps that caused him distress, but it would not have brought back the fever."
At the mention of Jack, Teyla bristled. "I suppose Lord Jonathan remains in excellent health."
"He is deeply troubled, Countess," Sarah replied, her expression hardening, "both by the results of his own folly and by everything else that has happened. Not the least of which is the queen's welfare."
Teyla wanted to point out that the queen's welfare might not be so dire had it not been for Jack's actions, but she held her tongue on that score. "Let us go to our sovereign, my lady."
"If we are let in," Sarah told her lowly. "I am not sure if it should be so, but Lady Katherine has kept nearly everyone away from her Majesty."
"I would not attempt to come between them now," Teyla remarked. "Kate can be as fierce as a lioness when it comes to protecting Elizabeth."
"I cannot blame her."
At the queen's door the guards allowed them into the antechamber, but Kate stepped out of the bedchamber and did not let them proceed further. She looked little like the lioness Teyla imagined her to be, for she was clearly utterly exhausted. Moved by her friend's weary appearance, Teyla stepped forward and embraced Kate. Kate was surprised at first but then hugged her tightly. "How is she?" Teyla asked, stepping back.
"There is no change," Kate said, her voice low and rough. "Carson has been alarmed, for the fever seems to be progressing faster in her than it did in her cousin."
"Perhaps that will bring her recovery sooner," Sarah replied gently.
Kate looked at Sarah for a moment, clearly not believing so. "Perhaps."
"Sarah and I are meeting with your father soon," Teyla said. "Is there any message you would have us convey to him?"
Kate bit her lip. "Give him my love, Teyla. There is little else to be said now."
"I will."
Teyla reached out and touched Kate's arm to comfort her one last time. Then the door to the bedchamber opened, revealing Marcus. Teyla was not surprised to learn that he too was keeping a vigil over the queen. She met his eyes for a moment and then looked back to Kate. "We are all praying for her."
Seemingly overcome, Kate kissed Teyla's cheek. Marcus gently guided her back into the room behind him, and Teyla looked to Sarah. "I do not envy them," Sarah said. "But we have work of our own to do."
Teyla took a deep breath before they moved toward the door. "Indeed."
*~*~*~*
Lord Daniel was resting, at the order of the Asgard, and Peter found himself once more without any tasks to occupy his time. News was trickling in from along the coast that the illness seemed to have peaked. Yet the island remained quiet and full of foreboding, still in the shadow of the queen's illness, at least metaphorically.
The clouds had parted around midday and as Peter wandered through the hallways, the afternoon sun beamed bright through the windows. He found himself near one of the parapets and saw that the trapdoor at the top of the stairs was open. Curious, he ascended to find Master McKay pacing back and forth aimlessly.
Peter suspected McKay had come here because the parapet overlooked the harbor and shipyard.
"Is there any news?" McKay asked as soon as Peter had climbed onto the parapet. It was the same question everyone was asking at every meeting.
"No change that I heard of," Peter said.
McKay leaned against the wall, arms folded across his chest. Peter stood not far away, looking over the harbor and the coast beyond it. Fall would be upon them soon. Even from here he could see fields inland that would soon be ready for harvest.
"I yelled at her," McKay blurted out, startling him.
"I beg your pardon?"
The shipwright looked uncomfortable. "The queen. The last time I saw her, I was yelling at her. I had just heard of the plan in the college to cease funding the navy project. I was trying to impress upon her the importance of my work for the safety of Atalan."
Peter remembered Elizabeth's harried countenance after that meeting, but he checked himself from telling McKay. It would do no good now anyway.
The other man sighed. "She knew that, of course. I know her Majesty is no fool." He shook his head, staring down at the yard, where the keel of a ship was visible through the frameworks. McKay's voice dropped. "I have accomplished more here in a year than I would have in a lifetime in Iolan, and I could not have done it without the queen's patronage. I owe her."
Peter did his best to be truthful while also comforting, for he knew McKay's attitude chafed Elizabeth's patience at the best of times. "I'm certain her Majesty knows you are grateful."
McKay nodded. "I just wish my last encounter with her had not gone as it did."
"Perhaps you should remember that, the next time you have the urge to yell at the queen," Peter pointed out. He couldn't restrain himself.
McKay rolled his eyes. "Possibly, though I know it is unlikely. I just wish there was something useful I could do."
Peter could understand that feeling all too well. "So do I." He smiled just a little. "I suspect you are not the type of man who prays?"
McKay snorted. "No, though I will spare you my lecture on the futileness of such endeavors."
"Thank you for that, at least," Peter replied dryly. Then he sobered. "I fear there is nothing to do now but pray, and wait."
"So we wait," McKay said, more to himself than to Peter.
The two of them stood there in silence as the sun sank and the day's light and heat faded away.
*~*~*~*
Having spent enough time lying in bed to satisfy Master Loki, Daniel was allowed to leave his room late in the afternoon. He could not bear confinement any longer, even if his progress through the corridors was slowed by his body's weakness.
He made his way to Lord George's chambers. Daniel felt it imperative that he and the marquis speak. Master Loki had looked grave when Daniel announced his intentions and then admitted to Daniel that the older gentleman was not recovering as well as the Asgard would like.
When Daniel settled into a chair at George's bedside, the truth of Master Loki's words was apparent. Though on the road to recovery longer than Daniel, George still looked pale and lacked the appearance of vigor Daniel was used to seeing in him. Sometimes Daniel forgot the other man was nearly twice his age. The Goa'uld, the Ori, the Wraith, Kinsey and a myriad of other forces had ensured those years were not quiet or easy.
Daniel knew better than to make more than a polite inquiry, though. Instead he settled in his seat and exchanged what bits of information he had with George. Neither of them had much more news than the other and soon Daniel was tapping his fingers restlessly on the arm of the chair.
"Two assassination attempts, that we know of for certain," he began reciting. "At least one attempt at kidnapping. Kinsey, the regency, all the various childhood illnesses she avoided. All of that and now..."
George sighed. "And now we are helpless."
"More so than ever before," Daniel muttered. "I cannot believe it has come to this."
He meant more than Elizabeth's terrible illness, of course, but George had only spoken of Jack in the most objective of terms. It seemed neither of them wanted to canvass that subject in detail just yet. Daniel was still too angry to be rational about it, and suspected he would remain so at least until Elizabeth was out of danger.
George sat up a little in the bed. "We have at least one factor on our side."
"What is that?"
"She is the daughter of King Edmund and Margaret of Langford. If ever there was a family lineage known for stubbornness..."
Daniel glared for a moment before he felt a laugh bubble up inside of him. It was silly but he let himself be comforted by the joke.
Unfortunately, George also laughed, then began to cough heavily. A nurse bustled in from the other room and brought him a cup of water to drink. Daniel felt his worry increase, but a baleful look from the older man kept him silent.
When the coughing had subsided, George sighed again. "Will you take your meal here, Daniel?" he asked with uncharacteristic quietness.
Daniel had no desire to be alone with his own thoughts again either. "Of course, my lord."
*~*~*~*
Kate was reasonably sure that the only person more exhausted than herself was Carson. He had not slept much before Elizabeth fell ill, due to the number of sick in the palace. Now Elizabeth was his only care, but he was relentless in watching over her, sleeping even less than Kate. There were moments she wondered if he believed he could keep Elizabeth alive by sheer force of will.
It was an admirable trait in a doctor, to be sure, but it was also directly responsible for his current state. He had lain down upon the cot at the foot of Elizabeth's bed, asking Kate to wake him in half an hour. However, more than two hours after he'd fallen asleep, there was no change in Elizabeth's condition and Kate had not the heart to wake him. At this point, there was little they could do for Elizabeth that Kate could not do by herself.
For a time she kept herself occupied, still trying to cool Elizabeth's body, but soon she got up from the bed, needing to stretch her legs a little. She herself was cold, but they dared not light a fire in the room while Elizabeth continued feverish. Instead, she quietly pulled one of her shawls from a trunk. She laid it out, though, before she would wear it, for the garments for cooler weather had not yet been aired recently.
She remembered packing away all the winter gowns and cloaks and shawls one day in the spring, not long after Laura's wedding. Though Elizabeth had been much occupied at the time, the simple ritual had kept her hands active. It was in idle moments when Kate had most worried about her friend. Elizabeth had nervous about the trip to Iolan, of course, but back then Kate suspected Elizabeth's thoughts had been in the south, where John had gone.
Kate knew that John had written to Elizabeth and had his cousin deliver a letter during the summit, but his absence had disappointed Elizabeth greatly, even hurt her. Lord Mitchell had told them of the destruction of one of Sheppard's cities, but Kate had no idea what John's letter had said. Elizabeth had not spoken of it beyond indicating John was detained unavoidably in Caldora, and had not shown Kate the letter itself. Had he asked forgiveness for not coming? Had he left Elizabeth with any assurances at all? Had he asked for a release from her service?
She shook her head as she paced. Elizabeth would have told her if John was never coming back. The queen had been withdrawn since that trip, and Kate knew her own behavior had been more formal and chilly after the reprimand Elizabeth had delivered over the breaking of her courtship with Marcus, but Kate was certain if Elizabeth had received such a request from John she would have told Kate and Laura. It could not be that.
Did Elizabeth even know for certain what John's feelings were? He had left Elizabeth with a kiss and, so far as anyone else knew, little else. A kiss in the heat of the moment did not mean that John loved her, or that he intended to return. The strain of living with such uncertainty had worn at Elizabeth for months.
So much had happened in so short a time. Laura's marriage, the trip to Iolan, the discovery of Simmons' treachery and Kinsey's guilt, Radek's proposal, the ongoing war in the south and the journeys to Langford, Heightmeyer and Neill, then the summit and now the heat wave and all that had occurred in the last few weeks. Had Elizabeth not succumbed to the fever, she would still have been exhausted and in dire need of rest.
Unfortunately, other than Kate and Laura, the one person who was most gifted at lifting Elizabeth's spirits was John of Sheppard, and John was gone. Laura had been as faithful as possible but her marriage had produced changes that were unavoidable. As she turned toward the bed once more, Kate knew she had allowed her romantic troubles and Elizabeth's censure to harm their friendship. She had not been as present for Elizabeth as she should have been these past few months. Before her lay the consequence for that neglect.
Though Kate had told others that the queen's condition remained the same, there had been a change today. A few hours ago, Elizabeth's breathing had been horribly labored. Kate and Carson had tried propping her up, turning her on her side, anything to ease the strain on her lungs. Nothing had seemed to help at the time, but now her breaths were quiet and still. Yet the change gave Kate no comfort. In fact, the stillness alarmed her. It seemed to her that Elizabeth was giving up.
Unable to stand silent and watch Elizabeth slipping away, Kate walked about the room once more. Her gaze fell on the desk, where Laura's most recent letter lay. She felt terrible for her friend, so isolated and so clearly miserable. Her symptoms seemed particularly wearisome, and more so while alone. Steadying herself, she went to the desk and wrote a brief note to Laura with a trembling hand. She did not want to alarm her friend, but Laura deserved to know what was going on. If this was the end, then... Then they all needed to prepare themselves.
Kate gave the message to one of the guards to deliver and she went back into the bedchamber. Everything around her, the furniture, the hangings on the walls, the bed and the way the light fell through the window and onto the carpet, all of it was achingly familiar. This had been her home for so long, Kate could hardly remember what it was to have any other.
Standing beside the bed, she lifted Elizabeth's hand, and then she knelt down. "Do you remember when we met, Elizabeth?" Kate asked, even though she knew Elizabeth could not hear. "You were so eager to meet Laura and me. You knew so few girls your age. I... I did not wish to come to Atlantis at all, but I was dreading it even more then. I did not want to be the arranged friend of a spoiled and selfish little princess. Not that you were, it turned out, but I was scared of what you might be like."
Kate sniffled for a few seconds, her throat constricting. "After your parents died, on your next birthday Daniel and Jack took us to the mainland. You were barely able to contain yourself. There was a little pool in a grove and they were teaching us to swim." She almost smiled at the memory. "Daniel was worried about taking us to a place so unguarded, but Jack declared he would not be responsible for drowning the princess in rough seas. It was such a beautiful day. I think it was the first time I'd been off the island since my mother brought me to interview with your mother. It was sunny and just warm enough for the water to be lovely. The whole place wasn't anything like home and I didn't care. It was just beautiful."
Her eyes began to fill with tears. "I remember Jack carrying Laura and me both out of the water after we'd nearly drowned each other," she continued. It seemed a little strange to talk about Jack now, after all that had transpired, but given their history with Jack it seemed stranger still to ignore the tremendous impact he'd had on their lives. "They didn't let us stay in the water the whole time we were there, but they let us play. We were lying there in the grass, drying out in the sun, and you held my hand. I couldn't believe that I had ever wanted to be somewhere else, that I'd hoped you would hate me so much that I would be sent home. I had stayed because it was my duty, but I think that was the first time I felt something more than duty. You were already so dear to me..."
By then Kate had tears rolling down her cheeks and her breaths were coming in gasps. "Elizabeth, please," she managed. "You are my best friend, dearer to me than a sister and more than just my sovereign. I cannot lose you."
She could no longer restrain herself and she began to weep. With Elizabeth's hand clutched between hers, Kate laid her head down upon the bed to muffle her sobs, until the door behind her creaked open.
*~*~*~*
Laura had become so desperate for occupation, she turned to hobbies she had not pursued in some time. She had even tried to draw, struggling to recall the lessons the governess had taught to her, Kate, and Elizabeth when they were younger. It hadn't gone well, but then, she'd never had much talent for the art to begin with.
She hadn't left these rooms in days. The morning sickness kept her occupied with her own misery at times, but other than that, she was stuck inside with nothing but her own thoughts to occupy her. The notes she received from Kate and Carson helped, but those were sporadic at best. Few other people approached her but the maid, which was good as it lessened the chance of illness reaching her, but it did not help her mental state.
As evening fell, she was ecstatic when a knock sounded upon the door. Looking across the room, she called eagerly, "Come in."
To her surprise, it wasn't one of the servants or Peter with a message for her, but Teyla. Laura quickly moved to stand up, but was waved down by the other woman.
"Laura," Teyla greeted warmly as she moved to sit down in another chair near to Laura's. "How are you?"
She smiled weakly. "As well as can be expected," she replied. "I confess I had not thought this nausea would be so constant, though I am not sure if that is unrelated to stress."
Teyla looked remorseful. "I did not know your condition when I left, or I would have brought back one of Charin's soothing teas. She was a midwife years ago and still keeps a store for the pregnant women in Athos. I will have some sent to you as soon as I am able."
Laura leaned back in the chair. "You might send Charin herself. I do not even know if we have a midwife on the island."
Teyla grinned a bit at that. "You do not trust your husband to care for the babe?"
Laura smiled. "I have full confidence in my husband knowing that in matters of pregnancy and childbirth, he should defer to someone who has vastly more understanding and experience than he does."
They laughed quietly, though Teyla's eyes strayed to the lamp on the table, and the fading light outside. She looked tired.
"Are things still dire on the mainland?" Laura asked.
Teyla shook her head. "The fever seems to be burning itself out," she told her. "There have been no new cases, and most of those afflicted seem to be improving."
"That's good news," Laura murmured. The thought that if only such fortune could be extended to Elizabeth and those in the capital lay unspoken between them.
They talked a little more, and then Teyla had to leave. Undoubtedly she had business to attend, but Laura wished she could have stayed a little longer. Having someone to talk to certainly helped to while away the time.
Not long after Teyla left, however, there was a knock on the door and Laura blinked. She had been virtually alone for such a long time, now she felt unnaturally besieged. A guard stood in the corridor, a note in his hand, and after delivering it he left with only a silent nod.
Filled with a sudden dread, Laura closed the door and opened the message.
It was from Kate. She needed to make herself ready for the worst.
The nausea returned but Laura knew it was not her condition causing it. She was sick with fear and utterly drained as she leaned against the closed door. How was she to prepare herself? How was she to brace herself for the death of someone she loved so much?
Tears rolled down her cheeks and she made no effort to check them as she looked at the note again, thinking of poor Kate watching Elizabeth waste away. Laura was no longer certain which was worse, being kept away or being unable to leave. They needed to be together now, together with Elizabeth. They had always needed each other, and never more than they did now.
But she could not go to them, and that hurt all the more.
The dizziness returned, and Laura slid down to the floor. Knowing that nothing would ease the pain of what was to come, she pulled her knees to her chest and wept.
*~*~*~*
In the evening, Marcus left his appointed place for a brief time to see to duties he had put off the last few days. His lieutenant had done well but he could no longer ignore the fact that he had other responsibilities in the palace. Thankfully, his conversations with the watchmen and the sea captains who were in Atlantis now were brief. With all the rain, the seas were not calm, but the agitation would keep the Wraith from attacking in this vulnerable hour. It was the one thing that gave Marcus relief. He would not have to fear killing Elizabeth with a hasty escape from the palace.
It was the only thing he did not have to worry about, it seemed. On the way back to the queen's chambers, well after sunset, he wondered how much longer she could survive in this manner. Every time she had woken, Kate had gotten her to drink a little water, but it had not been much. She had not been eating well before the fever struck, and now she seemed to be fading away before their eyes.
The men standing guard opened the door to the antechamber for him, and Marcus proceeded into the bedchamber without knocking. What he saw made him stop in his tracks in terror.
Kate was on her knees at the side of the bed, her whole body shaking as she sobbed. Elizabeth's hand was clutched in both of hers. Upon his entry, she looked over her shoulder at him, but made no attempt to hide her distress. He had seen Kate in many unguarded moments over the years but never like this.
Marcus shut the door and hurried across the room. "Kate, tell me she is not..." He could not bring himself to utter the worst. He could barely make his voice work. He thought he had known how much Elizabeth meant to him, but in that moment, he was not sure how any of them would bear losing her.
Kate shook her head and kissed Elizabeth's fingers, usually a gesture of obeisance when the queen wore the ring signifying her authority. Now it seemed more anguished than anything else. "She has not woken today, Marcus," Kate managed to say, her voice cracking. "She is slipping away, and there is nothing I can do."
Without hesitation, or even wondering if he should be so bold, Marcus took hold of Kate's hand. She looked up at him and he helped her stand. For a long moment they only stared at each other. He wondered what to say, how to tell her that he shared her despair, a tightness in his chest that had not abated since he'd discovered the queen unconscious. That he too felt powerless, unable to fulfill the vows he'd sworn to Elizabeth.
Then Kate melted against him, and he knew he could at least comfort her. He wrapped his arms around Kate, and they clung to each other.
She started to cry against his chest, and he stroked her hair gently. It was a mess, having been braided some days ago but not seen to since. In those days something strange seemed to have happened between them, too. The ugly things they had said to each other in Neill still echoed in his mind, but the ultimatum she had issued seemed as though it were from another lifetime. With a common goal now, they had worked together seamlessly, something he would have thought impossible just days before.
Kate took a deep breath, and Marcus bowed his head to speak to her softly. "You haven't failed her, Kate," he murmured.
Her lip trembled. "Marcus, I don't know what I would do without her."
"I know." That was as far as he trusted his voice now. He remembered Kate's resolution not to remove herself from Elizabeth and the things he had accused her of. It was too painful to think that he had scorned a love and devotion that he shared with a depth he had not truly understood until now.
He guided Kate over to the small sofa not far from Elizabeth's bed, and there they sat down. As Kate leaned against him, Marcus finally noticed that Carson was asleep on the cot at the foot of the bed. The exhaustion of the last few days must have taken hold at last, and Marcus could sympathize. No sooner had he sat down than weariness began to overtake him.
He would have fought it off, but Kate's head was on his shoulder and her hand on his chest, and he could not bring himself to stay awake. The last thing he saw was the bed, where Elizabeth lay quiet and still before them.
*~*~*~*
When Kate awoke, she opened her eyes for a long moment and then closed them again, turning her face toward Marcus' neck. The hand on her back moved downward, and she realized that bright sunlight was streaming into the room. She had slept through the night for the first time since Elizabeth had fallen ill.
She was also more or less on top of Marcus, she realized, an arm around his shoulders and a leg between his. One of his hands was on her back while the other rested on her hip. Though she was fully clothed, she thought this might be more awkward and improper than the evening in Athos. There was certainly no medical reason for it this time.
Kate began to wonder how in the world she was going to remove herself from him without waking him, as she was not keen on having him wake with her draped over him like this. Before she could do anything to that end, the hand on her hip slowly drifted upward, pulling her closer.
He inhaled deeply and Kate lifted her head just in time to see his eyes open. He looked confused for a moment but that cleared away quickly. She could have sworn that he was the one blushing this time, though only a little, and she moved herself to a more decorous position. He let her go, but immediately she missed the warmth and comfort.
Before either of them said anything, there was a noise from the bed, and Kate's whole body was suddenly tense as she turned. The queen was taking slow, deep breaths, her hand moving up her stomach, and her eyes were open.
"Elizabeth!" Kate cried, bolting from the sofa to cross the room to the bed. Her hand was trembling as she felt Elizabeth's forehead and cheeks. Her face was so much cooler than it had been even twelve hours before, and she had a light sheen of sweat on her skin.
Kate had tears in her eyes when she looked at Carson, who had awoken as soon as Kate had spoken and raced to the other side of the bed. "I think the fever has broken," she told him, her voice trembling.
The weary doctor had never looked so relieved, even though he came around the bed to examine his patient once more. While Carson took her pulse, Elizabeth whispered, "Kate, I'm thirsty."
Kate looked at Marcus, who had come up behind her, and he immediately went to pour a glass of water. Together Carson and Kate managed to prop Elizabeth up enough to drink, and Kate held the glass for her until she had had enough. She sank into the pillows and closed her eyes, but her fingers gripped Kate's tightly and did not let go.
The gesture opened the floodgates, and for the second time in a day Kate began to cry openly. This time too Marcus stepped in to comfort her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him, thinking that nothing could make her more joyful in this moment, except to have Laura here as well.
*~*~*~*
Elizabeth ached all over. She remembered waking a few times while she was sick but her last clear memory was of the morning when she had collapsed. The news from Radek, her loss in the college, Jack's betrayal - they all felt as though they had happened just a few hours ago, not days. She was relieved beyond measure to know that Lord George and her beloved cousin were also recovering, but she wondered now what would become of her country and her reign. How was she to recover in the eyes of the college?
Carson, as he wiped sweat from her brow, seemed to know where her thoughts were and he admonished her gently to think on other things. There was little she could do until she had her strength back. To that end, he left her in Kate's care, saying he was sending down to the kitchen for broth.
Kate, once she had recovered her composure, had sent Marcus to inform certain nobles that the queen had awakened, so she and Elizabeth were alone for a little while. Kate took that opportunity to help Elizabeth clean up and change into fresh clothes. The process exhausted her, but when she settled back against the pillows again, she was already feeling better. "You're a mess, Kate," she said to her old friend.
Kate actually blushed then, touching her hair before pulling the braid out. She got up to retrieve a brush but came back to sit on the bed with Elizabeth. "You scared me, Elizabeth," she confessed. "I had no idea you had grown so ill, and I - I was a little ashamed of having missed it."
"Kate, do not burden yourself," Elizabeth replied. "I had no idea either."
There was a long silence while Kate brushed her hair, working out knots. Kate also seemed to guess what Elizabeth was thinking of, for she asked, "Have you thought any of what you will do about the college?"
Elizabeth sighed and leaned her head back against the pillows. "I do not know," she said. "What is to be done? Jack got his way through deceit, certainly, but I gave my consent. I do not know what I shall do."
Her anger and hurt with Jack had not abated, and Elizabeth did not see a way for him to come back into her good graces. How was she to trust him when he had betrayed her so completely?
Neither of them said anything as Kate finished brushing her hair, a rather long process, especially this morning. Elizabeth was sure her own hair needed similar treatment, but she was not certain she could sit up long enough. Perhaps in a few hours Kate might be able to take care of that for her. In the meantime she drifted quietly until there was a knock on the door.
Carson peeked his head in. "Majesty, do you think you might be up to a visitor?" he asked.
Perplexed, she said, "Who is it?"
Carson smiled and opened the door all the way for his wife, and Laura fairly danced across the room and landed on the bed while Carson shut the door to give them privacy. Elizabeth could not keep from smiling. "Laura, where have you been?" she asked, squeezing Laura's hand while Laura kissed her cheeks.
There was a brief flash of pain in Laura's expression, but then Kate smiled. "Elizabeth, I believe Laura has some news to share."
Laura looked as though she were going to burst. "I'm with child, Elizabeth."
Elizabeth's jaw dropped, and then she could not keep a smile from her face, however weary. "Laura, that is wonderful news!"
"It is certain, then?" Kate asked.
"I have not consulted a midwife yet, but my stomach seems to rebel at everything now," Laura replied, rolling her eyes. "It is most inconvenient."
"I would think so," Elizabeth replied, laughing a little. She had not had time to wonder at Laura's absence, but she realized her friend must not have been attending her these last days. "Carson kept you away, didn't he? To protect the baby?"
Laura nodded, her face growing serious. "Many times I thought to defy him, but..." She trailed off, her hand pressing to her abdomen. "There is something I have told neither of you, but now I want you to know."
Elizabeth's smile fell, and she reached to brush Laura's cheek with her knuckles. "What is it, Laura?" she asked.
Laura seemed uncharacteristically hesitant. "Do you remember my illness in Neill?" she asked. Kate and Elizabeth both nodded, and Laura looked down at her fingernails. "I was not sick, exactly. I was pregnant then too, but I lost the child."
"Oh, Laura," Kate murmured. She put a comforting hand on Laura's shoulder.
"It was not something I wanted to talk about with anyone, even Carson," she continued. "But that is why Carson wanted to keep me away from anyone who was ill, and why I agreed with him." Laura raised her eyes and Elizabeth saw the grief and guilt in them clearly. "Believe me, Elizabeth," she implored. "This is the only thing that would have kept me from you these last few days."
"I believe you, Laura," Elizabeth replied, squeezing Laura's hand tightly. "I would never have you harm yourself or your child on my account."
Laura shifted around then, lying down carefully next to Elizabeth and laying her head gently on her shoulder. "I've missed you two so much," she said. "I thought I would go mad, left to my own devices for so long."
"I'm surprised you weren't climbing the walls," Elizabeth remarked.
She looked at Kate, who was smiling. "Who is to say that she wasn't?"
"True." Elizabeth agreed. "And if she was alone, she cannot disprove it."
Laura began to defend herself, but Elizabeth let Kate continue in her stead. She was tired, too tired to respond to their antics as she might want, but it was good to be with them both again. Courtships and marriages and parents and children might all strive to break them apart, but Elizabeth knew that the bond she had with these two was stronger than any blood tie, and nothing in life would truly take them from her side.
She closed her eyes while her two companions bickered playfully, and her last thought before she fell asleep was that it was good to have at least one thing back to normal, even for a little while.