Fic: Measure Every Grief (5/5)
Part I and meta
Part II
Part III
Part IV
And now, the conclusion. ;)
The miles from Redwater to Atlantis were long and hard. John remembered all too well the journey he had taken in the spring, going the other direction but in much the same frame of mind. With every stride across the country, he grew more and more fearful that he would be too late.
Kate's letter was burned into his memory now, and he wondered if Elizabeth had managed to survive this long, as dire as the illness surely was. As he neared the northern coast, he knew that it had to have been three weeks at least since Kate had written to him. He could only pray that Elizabeth had held on. He was not sure what he would do if the worst had happened.
Near the village of Athos, the weather turned foul. The light rain that had plagued him all day was a downpour now. Wind and cold rain buffeted his body. Though John had seen worse weather than this during his winter spent in Atlantis, he had never ventured out into it. He thought about turning toward the village, where he might get some warm food and where someone might have news of Elizabeth.
It would not be enough. If she yet lived, he could never be satisfied with mere reports. So even when Silvanus reared twice, John pressed onward. He had spent long, lonely days riding northward as hard as he had fled south the previous spring. The journey had been so consumed with fear that he dared not trust anything but his own eyes.
He stopped only when he reached the great iron gates of the palace. A voice from within pierced through the keening wind. "Who goes there?"
"Lord John, Marquis of Sheppard, knight of Atalan!" he called.
He was about ready to plead with the guard or demand entry when half a dozen men stepped out of the shadows, shocked looks on their faces. Then another stepped out from the courtyard beyond the gate and ordered, "Let the man in!"
John had never been so happy to see or hear Captain Lorne.
Silvanus was all too eager to pass through the gates as soon as they were opened. As John was dismounting, one of the guards seized the reins of the horse. "Take him to the stables," John told the man, while he was already running up to Lorne. "Captain."
"My lord, I..." Marcus trailed off, and then he smiled just a little. "It's good to see you again."
John clapped the man's shoulder. His grip was tighter than it should have been but he didn't care. "What of the queen?" he asked, his voice growing hoarse.
Lorne looked surprised before understanding filled his face. "She lives, my lord."
John exhaled heavily then, letting go of the guard's shoulder. The relief that flooded him then was more profound than anything he had felt in the whole of his life. "I must see her, Marcus."
Lorne hesitated for a moment, but then nodded, a knowing look in his eyes. John wondered fleetingly how much had transpired for him during the last six months. "I'll take you to her."
It seemed as though the path through the corridors and stairs would never end, though John surmised quickly that the guard was leading him to the queen's audience chamber. It was there that he had first revealed his heritage to her, there that they had first fought. In that room she had told him of the invasion of Caldora, and in that room she had embraced him for the first time. His memories and weeks of anxiety mingled within him until he was clenching his fingers with nervousness. When they finally reached the place, flanked by two black-clad guards, Marcus stayed him with a hand while he opened the door.
He heard voices on the other side - Kate's, he thought, and possibly Daniel's. They were silenced when the door opened. "Pardon me, Majesty," Lorne said, "but a gentleman has just arrived and wishes to speak to you."
"Captain, can he not wait until morning?" John could hear the weariness in the soft voice that answered, but his heart swelled to hear her again.
Lorne smiled kindly. "I have a feeling you would never forgive me if I let you put him off until morning."
"Very well."
Lorne pushed the door open wide and stood out of the way. John stood frozen for a moment, half in shadow, taking in the sight before him. There were more people in the room than he'd expected - Daniel, Teyla, Lord George, Kate, Laura, and a man he thought to be Kate's father - but once his eyes fell on Elizabeth on her throne, he could not look away.
She was pale, too pale, and slimmer than she ought to be. Despite the heavy gown she was wearing and the shawl draped over her shoulders, she looked cold. When she saw him, her mouth opened up a little, but she said nothing. Instead she reached up and started fidgeting with the pendant of her necklace as though she were nervous.
Then suddenly the dog sitting at her feet - was that really the puppy he'd given her almost a year ago? - barked at him, breaking the spell. Elizabeth rose, her shawl falling into the chair. "John?"
He finally found the will to walk forward, though slowly. "Elizabeth, I..." he began, then looked down at his bedraggled state. "I heard you were sick." He glanced swiftly at Kate, who colored, but he could not keep his eyes from Elizabeth for very long.
Slowly, Elizabeth smiled.
Having come before her, he dropped to one knee, aware that he was dripping rainwater on her skirts but he couldn't bring himself to care. She held both her hands before him, and though he saw that she wore the signet, he saw no man's ring upon her finger. The last of the worry he'd harbored ever since leaving melted away, and he took her hands in his and kissed them both.
Forgetting that there were still others in the room, John stood and looked upon his queen's face. There were unshed tears in her eyes. "Elizabeth," he said, his voice breaking.
"I thought I'd never see you again," she whispered.
Gently he cupped her cheek. "I told you I would come back."
John could restrain himself no longer. He kissed her deeply, frantically, all his fears and longing answered with her own passion. She buried her hands in his wet hair, holding him close. One desperate kiss turned into another and the months apart seemed to melt away, as though they were still standing in the stables with nothing between them but mutual desire.
There was a loud coughing sound, and John broke the kiss, abruptly remembering that they had an audience. Daniel was looking at him sternly and the other man seemed utterly amazed by this turn of events, but Hammond seemed more resigned and amused than anything else. Teyla's serene countenance was filled with surprise but not displeasure, while Kate and Laura both looked positively giddy.
John turned his attention back to the woman still in his arms. Elizabeth was blushing, but her expression was so joyful that he could not help brushing his lips against hers chastely, audience be damned. Her hands stroked his neck and shoulders, and John held her tightly. His time of wandering was finally over.
He was home.
Thanks for reading, everyone. We'll be back with Season 3 as soon as we've got a plan before too long. ;)
Part II
Part III
Part IV
And now, the conclusion. ;)
The miles from Redwater to Atlantis were long and hard. John remembered all too well the journey he had taken in the spring, going the other direction but in much the same frame of mind. With every stride across the country, he grew more and more fearful that he would be too late.
Kate's letter was burned into his memory now, and he wondered if Elizabeth had managed to survive this long, as dire as the illness surely was. As he neared the northern coast, he knew that it had to have been three weeks at least since Kate had written to him. He could only pray that Elizabeth had held on. He was not sure what he would do if the worst had happened.
Near the village of Athos, the weather turned foul. The light rain that had plagued him all day was a downpour now. Wind and cold rain buffeted his body. Though John had seen worse weather than this during his winter spent in Atlantis, he had never ventured out into it. He thought about turning toward the village, where he might get some warm food and where someone might have news of Elizabeth.
It would not be enough. If she yet lived, he could never be satisfied with mere reports. So even when Silvanus reared twice, John pressed onward. He had spent long, lonely days riding northward as hard as he had fled south the previous spring. The journey had been so consumed with fear that he dared not trust anything but his own eyes.
He stopped only when he reached the great iron gates of the palace. A voice from within pierced through the keening wind. "Who goes there?"
"Lord John, Marquis of Sheppard, knight of Atalan!" he called.
He was about ready to plead with the guard or demand entry when half a dozen men stepped out of the shadows, shocked looks on their faces. Then another stepped out from the courtyard beyond the gate and ordered, "Let the man in!"
John had never been so happy to see or hear Captain Lorne.
Silvanus was all too eager to pass through the gates as soon as they were opened. As John was dismounting, one of the guards seized the reins of the horse. "Take him to the stables," John told the man, while he was already running up to Lorne. "Captain."
"My lord, I..." Marcus trailed off, and then he smiled just a little. "It's good to see you again."
John clapped the man's shoulder. His grip was tighter than it should have been but he didn't care. "What of the queen?" he asked, his voice growing hoarse.
Lorne looked surprised before understanding filled his face. "She lives, my lord."
John exhaled heavily then, letting go of the guard's shoulder. The relief that flooded him then was more profound than anything he had felt in the whole of his life. "I must see her, Marcus."
Lorne hesitated for a moment, but then nodded, a knowing look in his eyes. John wondered fleetingly how much had transpired for him during the last six months. "I'll take you to her."
It seemed as though the path through the corridors and stairs would never end, though John surmised quickly that the guard was leading him to the queen's audience chamber. It was there that he had first revealed his heritage to her, there that they had first fought. In that room she had told him of the invasion of Caldora, and in that room she had embraced him for the first time. His memories and weeks of anxiety mingled within him until he was clenching his fingers with nervousness. When they finally reached the place, flanked by two black-clad guards, Marcus stayed him with a hand while he opened the door.
He heard voices on the other side - Kate's, he thought, and possibly Daniel's. They were silenced when the door opened. "Pardon me, Majesty," Lorne said, "but a gentleman has just arrived and wishes to speak to you."
"Captain, can he not wait until morning?" John could hear the weariness in the soft voice that answered, but his heart swelled to hear her again.
Lorne smiled kindly. "I have a feeling you would never forgive me if I let you put him off until morning."
"Very well."
Lorne pushed the door open wide and stood out of the way. John stood frozen for a moment, half in shadow, taking in the sight before him. There were more people in the room than he'd expected - Daniel, Teyla, Lord George, Kate, Laura, and a man he thought to be Kate's father - but once his eyes fell on Elizabeth on her throne, he could not look away.
She was pale, too pale, and slimmer than she ought to be. Despite the heavy gown she was wearing and the shawl draped over her shoulders, she looked cold. When she saw him, her mouth opened up a little, but she said nothing. Instead she reached up and started fidgeting with the pendant of her necklace as though she were nervous.
Then suddenly the dog sitting at her feet - was that really the puppy he'd given her almost a year ago? - barked at him, breaking the spell. Elizabeth rose, her shawl falling into the chair. "John?"
He finally found the will to walk forward, though slowly. "Elizabeth, I..." he began, then looked down at his bedraggled state. "I heard you were sick." He glanced swiftly at Kate, who colored, but he could not keep his eyes from Elizabeth for very long.
Slowly, Elizabeth smiled.
Having come before her, he dropped to one knee, aware that he was dripping rainwater on her skirts but he couldn't bring himself to care. She held both her hands before him, and though he saw that she wore the signet, he saw no man's ring upon her finger. The last of the worry he'd harbored ever since leaving melted away, and he took her hands in his and kissed them both.
Forgetting that there were still others in the room, John stood and looked upon his queen's face. There were unshed tears in her eyes. "Elizabeth," he said, his voice breaking.
"I thought I'd never see you again," she whispered.
Gently he cupped her cheek. "I told you I would come back."
John could restrain himself no longer. He kissed her deeply, frantically, all his fears and longing answered with her own passion. She buried her hands in his wet hair, holding him close. One desperate kiss turned into another and the months apart seemed to melt away, as though they were still standing in the stables with nothing between them but mutual desire.
There was a loud coughing sound, and John broke the kiss, abruptly remembering that they had an audience. Daniel was looking at him sternly and the other man seemed utterly amazed by this turn of events, but Hammond seemed more resigned and amused than anything else. Teyla's serene countenance was filled with surprise but not displeasure, while Kate and Laura both looked positively giddy.
John turned his attention back to the woman still in his arms. Elizabeth was blushing, but her expression was so joyful that he could not help brushing his lips against hers chastely, audience be damned. Her hands stroked his neck and shoulders, and John held her tightly. His time of wandering was finally over.
He was home.
Thanks for reading, everyone. We'll be back with Season 3 as soon as we've got a plan before too long. ;)