Meta: James T. Kirk and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

[shinychimera]

In the interests of fan-fictional accuracy, I went through the film Star Trek carefully and documented every affliction Kirk suffers on the fateful day that takes up most of the movie.  (Heavy spoilers, of course.)   In the interests of sharing the fruits of my labors, well, here ya go:

Stardate 2258.42

• It starts with a stressful trial for cheating

• Hypo -- vaccine against viral infection from Melvaran mud fleas
  • Lose vision in left eye
  • Really bad headache
  • Flop sweat
  • Weakness, nausea ("I might throw up on you")
  • "Leaking"
  • Itchy mouth
• Hypo -- a mild sedative
• Reaction to the vaccine (and/or the sedative?)
  
  • Swollen hands
  • Increased heart rate
• Hypo -- cortisone
• Reaction to cortisone?
  
  • Numb tongue
• Hypo -- ?  ("I can fix that")

• Realizes they're flying into trap, runs through Enterprise (while still affected by the vaccine) to get evidence and convince Pike
• Faces destruction of all the other ships that went to Vulcan, and most of his graduating class
• Faces his father's murderer on the Enterprise view screen

• Space jump
  
  • Hard landing on platform, rolling on right shoulder and side
  • Strained muscles holding onto platform until parachute is retracted

• Struggle with Romulans (who have 3x human strength; note all this takes place over Vulcan, which has higher gravity and thinner atmosphere than earth, taxing human fighting capability)
  
  • Punch to jaw
  • Punch to jaw, knocked to ground
  • Punch to face
  • Lifted over shoulder, dropped on back/right side
  • Kicked in left ribs
  • Dangles by two hands from platform for 31 seconds
  • Left hand stomped on by Romulan
  • Dangles by one hand from platform for 14 seconds (and then holds on with damaged left hand so Sulu can pull him up by the undamaged right hand)
• Diving off drilling platform
  • High speed fall without helmet
  • High speed collision with Sulu
  • Muscle strain from upward yank of parachute, before it's lost
  • Lands hard on right side on transporter pad (momentum much-reduced by Chekov's adjustment, but not gone)

• Watches destruction of a planet, and its six billion inhabitants

• Interlude for medical treatment -- no apparent hypos.    :)

• Brief scuffle with Enterprise security (gives worse than he gets, this time)
• Vulcan nerve pinch

• High-speed pod landing on Delta Vega
  • Removes bandaging from Romulan-stomped hand
  • Climbed out of ice pit bare-handed
  • Begins 14 kilometer (8.6 mile) walk through snow and ice, partly through snow flurries
  • 200-meter(?) sprint chased by drakoulias
  • Knocked to ground by hengrauggi monster
  • 100-meter(?) sprint chased by hengrauggi
  • Rolling fall down steep slope
  • Right shoulder lands/skids on solid ice
  • Right ankle grabbed by hengrauggi's tongue
  • Slams chest and arms hard to ground when right foot yanked out from beneath him
  • Dragged across cave floor

• Involuntary mind meld with significant emotional transference
• Remainder of 14 km walk to Scotty's base

• First guinea pig for untested transwarp beaming technology

• Fight on the bridge against Spock's superior (3x human) strength
  • Right cross to the jaw
  • Shirt grabbed, thrown against console
  • Left forearm smashed down
  • Spock's forearm/elbow backhanded against chest
  • Spock's fist smashes down on Kirk's blocking forearms crossed overhead
  • Punch to gut
  • Blow to throat, knocking him back on console
  • Two body blows
  • Blow to right shoulder/mouth, rolling him over console again
  • In hard choke hold for 20 seconds

• Assumes command, and responsibility for the ship, the crew, and the safety of Earth

• On the Narada
  • Running gunfight
• Comes face to face with the man who killed his father ("prepare to die")
  
  • Ayel's rifle butt to the the right temple (lies flat on his back for 15 seconds after)
  • Hauled up and thrown back on his right shoulderblade by Nero
  • 3-4 body blows that take him to the floor again
  • Blow to the face that knocks him down the next walkway level (a foot lower)
  • In Nero's choke hold for at least 10 seconds, before Nero is distracted by Spock
    • Is told he was a great man in another life (go ahead, have fun living up to that the rest of your life)
  • Leaps down 20+ feet(?) to escape Ayel, catches edge of ledge across hips/abdomen, dangles by arms
  • Ayel lifts him by throat, chokes him for 15 seconds
  • While dying, Ayel drops Kirk, who catches himself on ledge, dangles by arms again

• Carries Captain Pike home, runs straight to bridge for more decision-making
• Narrowly escapes black hole's gravity well

And then he smiles his big damn smile, blows out a relieved breath, tries to be a good captainly captain for a little while, and then collapses, right?   Right?

Please enjoy " Pulse", a lovely visual imagining of the aftermath by latenightarting-- click the picture to see a larger version and leave comments for the artist.




Corrections, additions, discussion, and links to stories that address Kirk's injuries and stamina are welcome in the comments!