001

[ssnape_potions]

This is just a public service announcement.

I now hold the power to look into every aspect of all of your pathetic lives, legilimency aside .

In primal terms I'm certain you'll all understand: this means I now know who's fucking who. Although Merlin knows what I wouldn't give to get laid.

Comments

[blaise_zabini]

Dear Professor,

As house prefect i've been receiving complaints about security to the dorm rooms, I was wondering if you could come and address this issue, perhaps stronger spells are needed on dormitory doors.

Thank you
Blaise

To Blaise

[ssnape_potions]

Certainly. Is this a personal complaint that you wish to discuss with me or something you'd rather me address the entire Slytherin house about?

-S. Snape

Re: To Blaise

[blaise_zabini]

Professor,

At first this issue was a personal one but other house members have expressed their concerns also. For the sake of discretion i'd rather come and see you myself.

Blaise

[sock_enthusiast]

Ah, Severus. Nice to see you jumping on the bandwagon, since it was your suggestion that the bandwagon was...jumped on, in the first place.

I'm certainly going to enjoy reading what you have to say on 'every aspect of my pathetic life'.

Fond regards,
Dumbledore, A

[ssnape_potions]

Headmaster, I would certainly never assume you had a pathetic life.

And yes I am an idiot for suggesting faculty get involved. I can admit my mistakes.

[lunaphobic_]

"...this means I now know who's fucking who..."
Then you should know I'm shagging your mum.
Say hello to Poppa Remus, Sevvie.

[ssnape_potions]

Oh dear. Don't you have some bitch to hump something better to do with your time than bother me?

And call me Sevvie again and I'll see to it that you shag no one again this side of Azkaban.

[lunaphobic_]

Don't be such a stuffy head, Sevvie Severus.
And I have nothing better to do.
Still unemployed, remember?

[ssnape_potions]

So what, in Merlin's name, are you doing around here?