001

[ssnape_potions]

This is just a public service announcement.

I now hold the power to look into every aspect of all of your pathetic lives, legilimency aside .

In primal terms I'm certain you'll all understand: this means I now know who's fucking who. Although Merlin knows what I wouldn't give to get laid.

Comments

[lunaphobic_]

"...this means I now know who's fucking who..."
Then you should know I'm shagging your mum.
Say hello to Poppa Remus, Sevvie.

[ssnape_potions]

Oh dear. Don't you have some bitch to hump something better to do with your time than bother me?

And call me Sevvie again and I'll see to it that you shag no one again this side of Azkaban.

[lunaphobic_]

Don't be such a stuffy head, Sevvie Severus.
And I have nothing better to do.
Still unemployed, remember?

[ssnape_potions]

So what, in Merlin's name, are you doing around here?

[lunaphobic_]

Pestering the panties off of you.
Somebody has to do it. Might as well be me.

[ssnape_potions]

Shame it isn't a lucrative occupation...

Get a job you bum. Or go bite someone, I don't care.

[sock_enthusiast]

Now now, children.

Surely you have gotten past your differences by now?

Why don't you discuss things over a nice cup of firewhiskey tea?

Yours cooly, calmly and collectedly,

Dumbledore, A

[ssnape_potions]

I'd rather pour bobotuber pus all over my exposed flesh. I will certainly take that into consideration, Headmaster.

[lunaphobic_]

I'd rather if you didn't talk about my bum, Sevvie.
Though it is quite pretty, isn't it?

[ssnape_potions]

There you go again! I swear to Merlin, you call me "Sevvie" one more time...