this has been a busy and productive weekend. yesterday was actually quite a bit of fun. after completing some in-town errands, amber and i ran up to st. augustine to take the borrowed van back to dad. after an early supper, we all sat on cracker barrel's porch and continued to gab a bit. once parted, amber and i made our way down to ormond ( Read more... )

there is this still dark resonation hanging loosely in the air. i have not identified his face, though i am certain of the presence. am not sure whether or not i want or need or should know all of the details. my mind has hidden them for a reason. it would be nice to think that my mind would find a place to rest in the home and foundation i am ( Read more... )

it is becoming clear that there is a road. not that i know which direction is going, if i should be taking it, if it is something that was carved for me. i am currently lost in a state of depression. it is comforting and familiar. i don't know what i want or who i am. God is good and that is all i know. beyond that, i am lost.

it feels cliche to know there's something inside me to know there's something beyond current successes i will swim against this current but i know my arms will soon fall short of carrying me beyond this moment.

This current state is something fragile ( Read more... )

it's like i'm running and can't stop. like my legs won't move, but if they don't, i'll rot.

so i felt completely ethereal tonight. driving past consciousness with patti smith to keep me company. a little queer or fem-nazi, whatever. it was bliss.

some sense of slow resistance to the edge living to take the edge off living but i am still around. losing sense of reality somewhere between the dreams that leave me longing and the clothes drier that always creeks, but always dries. stable enough. stable enough.

oh live journal. does anyone take the time to press the words to your pages anymore? what sort of force does it take to make a boulder budge.

it's not the most fun with black and white decisions. gray is nice. gray allows flexibility. black and white are too honest at times. at times necessary.