Retarded

[squeakywheel]

This morning, in the span of less than ten minutes, I heard two different coworkers refer to two completely different entities as "retarded." It caught me by surprise, because I have a strange sensitivity to this word, thanks to my friend Amy's involvement with Fragile X research and awareness. Her brother has Fragile X, and so it is a topic that

Comments

[lizzeroni]

My half-sister is a carrier of Fragile X and had her baby aborted because he had it. Our family did not have a particularly good time of it, partly because my half-sister's actions seemed to spell out that she has a strain of the syndrome herself

[squeakywheel]

I'm not sure how close Amy is with her brother. I think he's spent a good portion of life in various facilities and special live-in schools and she went to a boarding school, so I'm not sure that they were ever around each other that much. But maybe it says even more about her character that she's so passionate about the cause despite not being close with him.

I wouldn't ditch a friend because they used a derogatory term either, although certain things might make me rethink my opinion of them. Especially with "gay." I really hate that one and recognize that it's used more out of ignorance than bigotry. Nevertheless, it makes me think that person might be a little weak/meek/pathetic (basically, whenever someone says something is "gay," I just think, "what's wrong with being gay?" and imagine that they don't have the cajones to say there's nothing wrong with it...).

[neonleonb]

I find that to be an interesting quandary. Personally, I would definitely abort a child who I knew would be handicapped. That's probably really offensive to some people, but it is quite sensible in some respects. Anyway, I approve of her actions, and wanted to make that clear.

[squeakywheel]

I agree with you on this but I feel very bad even admitting it.

[princerudy]

My goodness she is sensitive!!! You really are on pins and needles with her. :(

[squeakywheel]

I REALLY couldn't tell how upset she was because she was already so quiet (since she was tired). But I felt so bad!

[anonymous]

She sounds like a very high maintenance friend.

[adiasplat]

Oops, that was me. I didn't realize I wasn't logged in.

[squeakywheel]

I may be perceiving her as higher maintenance than she actually is because I feel like I need to prove my worth as a friend again after screwing up before by not calling her back.

[starlakitty]

As far as using the word "retarded" goes, I tend to stay away from it. Do I slip up and use it sometimes? Yes. Does that necessarily make me a bad person? No.

Honestly, Kate, it was a mistake. It happens. I would hope that Amy realizes that, too. =)

[squeakywheel]

Shortly after telling Leon the story of how I used "retarded" on the phone with Amy, I said it again to refer to a driver who didn't realize she had right of way. Leon and I just looked at each other and we both kind of laughed. I really need to work on it. :P

[jonthedull]

IMHO the word "retarded" is now derogatory. BUT it's only recently that it's been that way. I remember as a kid the word "retarded" wasn't just an insulting way to call someone or someting stupid, but it was the proper term to describe a number of conditions that we now would call "mentally handicapped". We wouldn't think of using the words "colored people" yet I've heard old people use it and it wasn't meant to be insulting because when they were young that was the correct word to use.

[squeakywheel]

You're absolutely right, although I think that even by the time I was, say, 11, the word had taken on a derogatory meaning and the prefered term was "mentally handicapped" or "mentally disabled."

I actually think I may have taken up using "retarded" where my peers used "gay" and "Jewish." It's no less offensive but, for some reason, I thought it was better. And I've since learned that I need to rid myself of the habit. I'm very embarrassed by it!

I like the piggy in your icon.

[etoilepb]

IMO "socially retarded" is an acceptable and accurate use of the word, in its most literal and original sense.