Retarded

[squeakywheel]

This morning, in the span of less than ten minutes, I heard two different coworkers refer to two completely different entities as "retarded." It caught me by surprise, because I have a strange sensitivity to this word, thanks to my friend Amy's involvement with Fragile X research and awareness. Her brother has Fragile X, and so it is a topic that

Comments

[lizzeroni]

My half-sister is a carrier of Fragile X and had her baby aborted because he had it. Our family did not have a particularly good time of it, partly because my half-sister's actions seemed to spell out that she has a strain of the syndrome herself.

Personally, whenever I see or hear the word "retarded", I'm not offended. If they called my sister or her baby that, however, it would be a different story. It is a derogatory term, but it depends where/how it's aimed and the context.

However, the situation with my side of the family and my half-sister and her side of the family is extremely complicated, and not made easier by the fact she migrated to the other side of the world a couple of years ago. It's extremely probable that your friend and her brother/family are extremely close with one another and thus a different situation. (It sounds like they are.)

One of my old friends is gay, yet he still uses the word "gay" as a criticism. Maybe he wouldn't if he was around someone else who was gay, though. Who knows.

I wouldn't ditch a friend just because they said the word retarded or gay (unless they did it to offend me or someone else in some way). Especially if they apologised like you did. Anyone who would do so sounds like they have severe insecurity issues, and it's rather their problem than yours.

[squeakywheel]

I'm not sure how close Amy is with her brother. I think he's spent a good portion of life in various facilities and special live-in schools and she went to a boarding school, so I'm not sure that they were ever around each other that much. But maybe it says even more about her character that she's so passionate about the cause despite not being close with him.

I wouldn't ditch a friend because they used a derogatory term either, although certain things might make me rethink my opinion of them. Especially with "gay." I really hate that one and recognize that it's used more out of ignorance than bigotry. Nevertheless, it makes me think that person might be a little weak/meek/pathetic (basically, whenever someone says something is "gay," I just think, "what's wrong with being gay?" and imagine that they don't have the cajones to say there's nothing wrong with it...).

[neonleonb]

I find that to be an interesting quandary. Personally, I would definitely abort a child who I knew would be handicapped. That's probably really offensive to some people, but it is quite sensible in some respects. Anyway, I approve of her actions, and wanted to make that clear.

[squeakywheel]

I agree with you on this but I feel very bad even admitting it.