Who was it who famously said,

"All I want is you,
and some butter,
and a monkey,
and Ecuador,
and enough gold to fill the Milky Way..."?

The bus system in Nanjing is Dante-esque. The drivers evidently have a primary goal of ensuring that everyone outside the bus dies, and a secondary goal of ensuring that everyone inside the bus dies. I got a seat that could only be used comfortably by a legless dwarf (and I am not exaggerating). Our bus overtook someone at a double yellow line for ( Read more... )

'Nuff said.

So they announced recently that there are an "estimated" 8.7 million species on earth, including plants, animals, small things, and kinds of things that were evidently invented since I was at school.

Now, I mean, all well and good, but that's just an estimate. How can that be converted into a hard fact, the kind that wins in trivia games ( Read more... )

New ExpensodrylTM-Clinically proven to make us money.

You can easily recognise werenovels by looking up the ISBNs tattooed on the backs of their necks.

Here's another one:

"To organise the world's money, to put it in our pockets, and run away."

"Ohhh!" said the small green man, in his metallic accent. "Your gravity has a ... smoky feel to it. With faintly tannic sidebands. I think I like it."

In a tour de force of transgenic manipulation, scientists today announced the development of the sphincterine, probably the world's first peach with its own anus.

"Mara is a teenager in lion years, a platypus in duck years, and a typewriter in chicken watts."