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My dear residents of the Gilded Castle,
I will mutilate you beyond all recognition of your questionable humanity if you bring so much as a drop of that paint into the house.
Sincerely,
( Read more... )
I will mutilate you beyond all recognition of your questionable humanity if you bring so much as a drop of that paint into the house.
Sincerely,
( Read more... )
Comments 77
I would like to know what you mean by 'questionable humanity'? I think I speak on behalf of all the residents when I assure you that our collective humanity is quite unquestionable, thank you very much.
I hope you are well.
Kind regards,
J. Dixon-Ross
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Is that so? I had rather thought your particular habits concerning both circadian and dietary restrictions to be quite questionable.
I am quite well, thank you, I can only hope such good health extends to you as well.
Sincerely,
( ... )
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I hope you are not casting aspersions on my humanity on account of my unfortunate condition of being diurnally-challenged. This would smack of prejudice. I do not know what dietary restrictions you are talking about.
I am quite well thank you very much. The weather of late has been most pleasant.
Kind regards,
J. Dixon-Ross
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I suppose I do have a particular prejudice against parasites and other lesser forms of 'life.'
The recent weather would be very much improved without the large clouds of paint.
Sincerely,
( ... )
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look who is walking into the main lobby tracking in bright yellow, dappled green and orange on the sleeves and face.
come at me bro :) :) :)]
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You know, I really would enjoy pulling each of you into your respective pieces. It would be quieter, cleaner, the overall intelligence of the home would increase exponentially...
[Le sigh. Life is so hard.]
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Did you write the note from earlier?
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[He looks so disappointed. Why can't he have nice roommates...]
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[ Please try again. ]
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How incredibly enlightening. I'm certain I've spent the past several months here without any inkling of such an overreaching law. Goodness knows I could have gotten myself into such trouble if I didn't have someone kind enough to come along and state the blatantly obvious for me.
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[ If this was a voice or video transmission, there would be a tch there. ]
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What will we learn next.
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I haven't had a chance to see you in person yet, so I'd like to bring up several matters at once, if you don't mind. Firstly, I am terribly, terribly sorry to have broken your piano when I was first here - it wasn't my intention at all to cause any trouble. Secondly, on account of the fact that Julian is now making a lot of frustrated and indignant noises, I sincerely request that you stop questioning his humanity - at least to his face. Or aloud, in general. Despite the fact that Julian has particular [ there was a long pause here while Rob was writing, trying to find the right word to use ] unusual qualities, he's still very definitely in possession of humanity and it really, really doesn't affect his personality in any way.
Thank you for your time.
Rob H.
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How lovely that you've returned to us, this is quite an improvement over our last conversation. I can't say I miss the stuttering much, perhaps all your business should be addressed by correspondence in order to improve overall expediency.
As for Julian, I'm sure he's charming in his own way, but I don't make it my habit to pretend the undead can be numbered among the living nor among humanity in general. The defiance of death is rather unnatural and to feast upon the life of those you call your own is rather unseemly in its own way.
I suppose you will simply have to accustom yourself to these frustrated and indignant noises. If his personality is as untarnished as you say, I'm sure this will be a simple task to accomplish in the name of your friendship.
Welcome back,
( ... )
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Since leaving here, I've managed to live seventeen more years while only a few months passed here, and I'm glad that I can say the stutter is mostly [ HAHA kind of... he is kidding himself just a little here ] absent from my speech, when all is fine and calm.
Julian is charming in a perfectly human way. Whether he technically dead or alive does not change the fact that he is capable of acting and feeling the way that anyone else does - some obvious things like heat and cold excluded - and to be honest, unless you are aware of his state, there is nothing particular about him that would suggest he is anything but human. His circumstances aren't his own choice, and rubbing that in his face is a bit troubling.
I'm not writing this because I myself am frustrated by his reactions to your comments, but rather because I wish he didn't have reason to react in such a way in the first place.
Thank you,
Rob H.
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What a marvelous transformation, and what a way with words you now have!
I never before realized that one could have the charms of a human while being anything but. It is a startling revelation, isn't it? I shall have to consider its implications very seriously.
To expanded horizons,
( ... )
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Are you serious?
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Gods, I can barely convince myself to answer such an erudite inquiry for fear that I might ruin its majestic moment.
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What the hell are you talking about?
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