azaezelya should also find this side-splittingly funny. Or not....that line is hard to navigate.

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I know, it's fake. Kegel exercises are good...but not THAT good. Still funny as hell, though.

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I guess it's better than Cherry Pie (a joke ONLY azaezelya and lordaensland will get)

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Vader With A Parasol

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Catholics can eat beaver on Fridays during Lent.

I, of course, enjoy eating beavers whenever I get the chance.

Because oral sex is teh awesome.

So, Mr. President, what exactly has changedQuoth Jon Stewart, "YOU'RE FRODO ( Read more... )

Courtesy of desertrat66:
Go to Wal-Mart (with a girl) and buy:

1 Large box of condoms
1 roll of duct tape
1 pair of safety goggles

Observe your (preferably geriatric female) cashier as you check out.

The dog collar, leash, and clothespins also need to be added to that list.

What does a Scotsman put on scrapes and scratches to prevent infection?

Neosporran.

Be sure to tip your waitress.

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Pimp Grills Child Sex Predator with Makeshift Blowtorch

MacGyver flamethrower FTW!