Comments | slytherincesss: || SHAMING || CRITICISM DOESN'T MEAN SHAMING ... DOES IT? ||

slytherincesss

|| SHAMING || CRITICISM DOESN'T MEAN SHAMING ... DOES IT? ||

Oct 22, 2013 23:23

If you want to shame me, I'll give you a head start by listing several areas of shaming that are particularly relevant (although you are free to choose any one of my shortcomings, as you see fit). Hmm, let's see . . . there's gender shaming, race shaming, mother shaming, socio-economic shaming, slut shaming, food shaming, body shaming, disability ( Read more... )

Comments 16

geneva2010 October 23 2013, 05:35:21 UTC

you and Sinead are right on. Enjoyed your essay. I have no answer to your Qm but I think it's mostly rhetorical.

mayfly_78 October 23 2013, 10:37:46 UTC

Very interesting post. You talk about many things that have been going around lately and I have been thinking about ( ... )

celestlyn October 23 2013, 19:05:15 UTC

THIS!

furiosity October 23 2013, 13:07:37 UTC

Wow parts of this post made me pretty angry ( ... )

slytherincesss October 23 2013, 15:12:34 UTC

I want to think for a bit about your comment before I compose a longer reply (because your comment is excellent and deserves a thorough response). I do want to say immediately, though, that I agree with everything you've said -- everything. I'm afraid (yet again) I didn't eloquently translate my thoughts to the written word. I will definitely clarify and I apologize to you, and to anyone who has been raped or otherwise sexually assaulted, for making an asswipe move. Again, I will clarify and will also edit my post accordingly.

furiosity October 23 2013, 15:44:15 UTC

Thanks for clarifying! To be clear, I'm not like... spitting mad at you or anything, I am just really frustrated with the overall culture of focusing on everything but the rapists when it comes to discussing sexual assault, which, if you look at just the numbers, is at absolutely epidemic proportions everywhere yet treated as a sadly inescapable fact of life (1 in 4 women in North America will be sexually assaulted in their lifetimes; that's TERRIFYING ( ... )

celestlyn October 23 2013, 19:23:29 UTC

I am just really frustrated with the overall culture of focusing on everything but the rapists when it comes to discussing sexual assault...

See, I get that. I know history has shown that women get the blame for provoking an attack or a rape and I know that is just not the case in most rapes. While I would never shame a woman for dressing provocatively, I do get where that old-fashioned idea is coming from. It does go back to the slut-shaming a little bit. I can remember growing up and hearing older people gossiping about so-and-so down the street who was 'just asking for it'. They were focused on the girls who dressed provocatively, teased men and used their sexuality to feel that they had power over men. They were asking, 'what does she expect when she behaves like that?' To me, it sort of puts men into a rather insulting position, too. It depicts them as uncivilized animals, unable control their hormonal urges, whether driven by anger or sexuality. In the end, the whole argument is insulting to both men and women.

Thread 5

alchemine October 23 2013, 16:48:27 UTC

I feel caught between a rock and a hard place in recent rape discussions. I absolutely believe rape is always the rapist's fault, that all men should be taught from birth not to rape, that anyone caught raping should be punished severely. That said, am I teaching my college-bound teenage daughter that being blackout drunk will put her at a greater disadvantage when rapists are around? You bet I am. She's not going out into a hypothetical future world where everyone understands that rape is never acceptable, she's going out into a world where someone is sexually assaulted every two minutes. I can't wait for society to catch up. I have to teach her to look out for herself, because no one else is going to look out for her - certainly not the sort of opportunistic scumbag rapists who think passed-out girls at parties are fair game. (And if I had a son, I'd be teaching him not to think that way ( ... )

lordhellebore October 23 2013, 18:30:44 UTC

You said what I am thinking. My daughter is slowly becoming a teenager over the next few years, and while I absolutely think rape is always 100% the rapist's fault, I can't help but also think I should teach her things like being blackout drunk will put her at a greater disadvantage when rapists are around. And then I almost feel guilty for that - and that can't be it, can it?

celestlyn October 23 2013, 19:01:41 UTC

Yeah, this whole 'shaming' thing is beginning to be a pet-peeve of mine. It's gotten so un-PC these days to express a negative opinion about anything, that I'm learning to just keep my mouth shut. (Okay, not really! That isn't likely to happen, but I've certainly learned to pick my battles.) It has become acceptable for anyone to say and do anything they want and 'fuck you' to anyone who finds that behavior inappropriate. It seems everyone is entitled to their opinion...unless it disagrees, then it's stfu ( ... )