|| SHAMING || CRITICISM DOESN'T MEAN SHAMING ... DOES IT? ||
If you want to shame me, I'll give you a head start by listing several areas of shaming that are particularly relevant (although you are free to choose any one of my shortcomings, as you see fit). Hmm, let's see . . . there's gender shaming, race shaming, mother shaming, socio-economic shaming, slut shaming, food shaming, body shaming, disability
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Like, the minute anyone brings up basic demographic facts about the perpetrators -- like that 99% of all rapists are male, regardless of the sex of the victim (85-90% of victims are female, with male victims being predominantly assaulted before they reach adulthood) -- there is always a lot of resistance, derailing, and logic failure and "what about the GOOD men????". But when a post goes around Tumblr detailing convicted rapists' (who comprise a mere 3% of all rapists) self-reported victim-profiling (containing stuff like "women with long hair are easier targets because you can grab them by it"), tens of thousands of people reblog it because "this could prevent you from getting raped" and nobody bats an eye. The whole idea that rape victims can be "slut shamed" is so terrible like we're literally saying that the rape victim is a slut. /o\
Anyway I focused on a very specific part of your post because I tend to zero in on the subject of sexual assault, but generally speaking I think the "X-shaming" meme is very much a product of identity politics (which I personally loathe) and yeah is often pretty pointless and even harmful (a couple of years ago it was all the rage for reddit neckbeard types to complain about being "creep-shamed" -- being shamed for behaviour women deem creepy. i shit you not.).
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See, I get that. I know history has shown that women get the blame for provoking an attack or a rape and I know that is just not the case in most rapes. While I would never shame a woman for dressing provocatively, I do get where that old-fashioned idea is coming from. It does go back to the slut-shaming a little bit. I can remember growing up and hearing older people gossiping about so-and-so down the street who was 'just asking for it'. They were focused on the girls who dressed provocatively, teased men and used their sexuality to feel that they had power over men. They were asking, 'what does she expect when she behaves like that?' To me, it sort of puts men into a rather insulting position, too. It depicts them as uncivilized animals, unable control their hormonal urges, whether driven by anger or sexuality. In the end, the whole argument is insulting to both men and women.
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