well i woke early today about 4a.m or so.my left side of my face and neck completely numb.i guess cuz i'm not the picture of health.i feel horrible.i have been on my monthly since the fourth of AUG. the thing is i only bleed if i strain or when i piss.nice huh!i had my baby sister stay saturday night.so of course my mom decided she had to go to the ( Read more... )

AIMEE'S BIRTHDAY COUNTDOWN.HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!IF I WIN ANY LOTTO LUTE,I'LL MAIL IT ALL TO YOU.I'D LOVE TO CALL YOU WHEN DO YA GET OFF?WHEN DO YOU GO IN TOMARROW?
EITHER WAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY SMOOGINA!!!!

okay then i went to lay down at 1a.m and here it is 5:30a.m and still not asleep.i am just a fucking wreck.i have completely consumed myself in grief.everyday a little more of me is gone.inside it still tears at my heart because i know what i do is wrong.i have completely alienated myself from everyone. the only one i really try to cry to and talk ( Read more... )

I'm so thrrough!it's all over.i spent the last three days trying to find help for my bulimia,and finally i found someone who would take me in to be seen.now i'm told i do not qualify for medicaid,wich means no insurance,wich means no help for me.also that means i'll probably get turned down for my disability appeal.the reason i filed was to get ( Read more... )

so much time has went past me.i was here and now,i really just don't know where i am. closet confession..i have had eating disorders eight years now.i am thirty pounds underweight.i hate it!not only has it completely consumed my life completely,i believe it has finally taken it's toll.the stress, saddness,and fear of it combined with the physical ( Read more... )

nothing is good anymore,genuinely i'm filled with hurt!another day/night of fighting and almost brawling,except i'm not the brawler.twenty dollars a week for groceries.then he blames me because if i would just get a babysitter it would be better.all i use to hear is maary him and he'd take care of me.i found out i wish i'd not have.i hate him!my ( Read more... )

hello!back to bitch again.yesterday was okay up till about 9p.m or so.me and the other sat at home all day for a change.boring but different for us on a sunday.his parents came over and barbequed in the pooring rain.they came about 4 or so and stayed until about 8:30.by that time i'm thinking time for a well deserved blunt or something and lay ( Read more... )

feening for a smokeeeeeeee!i have had one pack of newports last me since monday.i'm going on about 16 hours being smoke free.i'm so emotional over it,wich of course is sick.i have been a smoker thirteen years almost,and hell i can make one pack lastfour days.so i ask my hubby this morning if he could spare three bucks where i can get a pack,and he ( Read more... )

it's not even quater after six and i have had the most fucked up start.5:15a.m mr.wonderful nudges my foot "get up lets drink coffee." so i get up and wash his cup,and he started hugging on me.he was all lovey dovey.ewwwwwwww! Anyway i think everything is going to flow smooth and i saw the facial expressions change.next he says"wheres the movies i ( Read more... )

quickie to all who read,i would love some clarification on some shit.why does it seem to be that those of us with big ass hearts and cool ass attitudes are the ones to hurt most in life?I feel complete emotional destruction!when i feel i can't hurt any more inside the limit is pushed.my husband just reminds me of how much of a dissapointment i am ( Read more... )