I need to get a grip, and re-establish my distance. I'm really tired of being broken.

It's been so long since I've had a proper dream, I didn't know what was happening at first. I woke, groggy and confused.. realizing I'd slept less than an hour. Somewhere in my head I know it registered I'd been dreaming, but I can't remember thinking consciously about it until I woke for good. Generally speaking, my dreams are just patches of ( Read more... )

My center has returned and the calm it brings is always so welcome in this world so full of chaos. Introspection is always enlightening, interesting... obsessive... but having these moments, of total clarity and peace, are so much more important to my well being in the long run ( Read more... )

Well, maybe that's pushing it, but it was good to play catch up. Of course, Because it'd be too easy if my brain wasn't preoccupied with something unrelated... I'm stewing in confusion at my own shit. Like.. Have you ever done something, that should have made you exceptionally guilt ridden... but it didn't? Yeah. I've had a moment like that in my ( Read more... )

Last night, I had a bit of an epiphany. Not anything like curing a disease, or anything really important in the grand scheme of things. Mostly, I just decided I was tired of fighting. For years, I've been like a magnet, and I just don't want to try not to be drawn in anymore. In the scheme of things, happiness, even short lived, is worth the price ( Read more... )

Allow me to get excruciatingly emo for a moment. Tonight, I've had my entire heart and soul ripped from inside me and shredded. Stuffed back in sloppily. Seriously. What the hell.

I've finished the series of books I was reading. It's a bit like a funeral in my head. I started out, wholly skeptical and uninterested.. then page by page and book by book the characters seemed more like companions than just characters in some story. Always hate the end of a series when I've grown attached. It's a bit like realizing your dear ( Read more... )

It's a weird place to be. My brain is stuck in the "on" position and won't shut up. It's been almost a week. This is not strictly a bad thing, but I find that it makes it difficult for the people around me. Most of the time (these days anyway), I feel like I handle my obsessive thoughts well. I keep them to myself when they run too rampant, as much ( Read more... )

My son.. Poor, sweet, emotionally jacked up child. Today was his first day back at school from Christmas break. Big celebrations, right? Well.. almost. He was excited to be back to school. I was excited to have some time free of him talking every single second of the day for the sheer joy of hearing his own voice and organizing every thought that ( Read more... )

So, I got another of James Joyce's works. I was hoping it'd be better than the short stories.. as many who are wonderful novelists have no talent for the short story and vice versa. Unfortunately, the novel is -worse- than the short stories ( Read more... )