How the fuck could you do that to me? Im so lost right now. We had plans for tonight, i havent seen you in days, and youve been talking all about how much you miss me and how much you want to see me, then you fucking ditch me. I call you thinking that okie, now its our time to go out and have a good time, and I get nothing but the coldest bitch ( Read more... )

I hate to dream now. Every single night it's the same thing... either Im dreaming that we're back together and I get so excited and so happy, and then wake up and realize that yea.. .i fucked it all up again. Or, I get to dream bad news and feel wicked crappy in dreams and then wake up feeling even worse. i messed it up. I dont want to sleep, or ( Read more... )

so ive really been considering seeing a therapist for my own messed up mind. although it may seem like i can keep it together, it guess im pretty unstable. People should be able to make decisions without having to obsess over them for days, creating new twists and turns in the plot. I might as well just hope that you had stayed online tonight to ( Read more... )

hearing your voice again brought back so many feelings, and stirred up a few weird ones. it's only been a week, but your voice sounded so much different than I remember it. i felt so coy and nervous after you started to speak. I couldn't think, i couldnt breath, i could do anything except sit and be shocked. seeing you walking today was a different ( Read more... )

another sunday. i cant believe its only been a week. it feels like its been soooo incredibly long. i still miss you terribly and im getting sick from lack of hugs. its sad to try and force yourself to be along and not call, knowing if I were to call, things would probably get all messy and then no one would be happy. i just want for the both of us ( Read more... )

i have no idea what to say. this hurts so much. everytime i see anything that reminds me of you i feel like my heart freezes. when you sign online, i lose my breath, and i know i could just take you off the buddy list and i wouldnt see it, but i need to see it. i need to know youre still around. i just want to be with you again and feel you next to ( Read more... )

Well, I did it again. Not really knowing if I did the right thing, but I couldn't let it drag on anymore, it wasnt fair to either of us. Maybe I'll find solace in the fact that almost no one reads this anymore. Maybe I'll be able to open up and spill out some emotions, but i doubt it. She says I should talk to a "professional ( Read more... )

Adeel Marketplace

Dark skies did not bring respite to the hot summer day. Maverick stood on top of one of the lookouts, awaiting the arrival of his special goods. The humidy hung in the air and caused the clothing to stick to his body. He stared out at the makeshift huts constructed from wood and animal hides. Adeel contained about twenty of these ( Read more... )

Hurrah for anyone who can read this. Huzzah for those who await my next move! These next installments will be some crazy freewrite/rant of a story, almost always fictional, but they may resemble reality. But in the end, is that not the purpose? And thus ( Read more... )

I can’t believe I was awake while the sun was barely up. Sleeping on the couch didn’t really bother all that much, it was nice being in the living room. I got out of my makeshift bed, and went outside on the deck and cleared off one of those white plastic lawn chairs to have a seat. It was early, but the air already had warmth to it hinting at the ( Read more... )