Shattered Silence - Chapter 27
Title: Shattered Silence
Author: shmorgenheigen
Chapter: Twenty Seven
Rating: R
Word Count: 10917
Summary: David Desrosiers is a seventeen year old boy when his father unexpectedly sells his family home, forcing him to move across town and switch schools for his senior year of high school. Having always been the victim of homophobic bullying, the idea of transferring to a new school for his final year isn’t all that uninviting, though when he runs into his toxic ex-boyfriend on his very first day, he suddenly finds himself yearning for the bullying of his old school, instead. David does his best to persevere in the face of an ex that he’s terrified of, intent on keeping his head down and making it through his final year in peace so he can move onto college and begin his adult life.
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, didn't happen!
Author's Note: This is an alternate universe story based off of Behind the Net, Behind the Net (Pierre’s POV), and Behind the Net: Across the Distance (A Sequel) where David never joins the hockey team, he and Pierre never become friends and start dating, and instead David is single when he comes across Hunter, Ezra, Noah, and Ben. I had so much fun when writing the sequel to Behind the Net with Hunter and Ezra and the boys, and Pierre was certain at various points during the sequel story David would have forgiven and dated Hunter if he had been single when he met Hunter again, and also that David and Ezra would have fallen for each other if Pierre had never been in the picture. Curiosity led me to thinking way too much about what David actually would have done in a scenario where he and Pierre had never fallen in love. Without dating Pierre and all of the growth and healing he did over the course of their relationship, David would have been a very different person and would have reacted very differently to meeting Hunter again. Before I knew it I got inspired and had to write it. Pierre makes a few guest appearances as a boy from the same small town, of course, but this is not a Pierre/David story, and I think it may actually be my favorite story I’ve ever written. If you give this a read, leave me a comment and let me know!
This story begins in the year 2015
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Over spring break David got to see very little of Ezra, and while normally he would have felt disappointed and sad, the bruises on his skin that Hunter had left made him feel unusually relieved at their distance. Because Ezra’s mom and dad both had to work like normal and school was out for both Ezra and Elias, Ezra had been forced to stay home all week with his brother to hang out with him. There were several evenings when Ezra had come over once his mom had gotten home from work, but David had managed to keep anything sexual from happening between them by telling the other boy that he wasn’t feeling well and was worried he was coming down with something. He felt awful lying to his boyfriend and continued to struggle with the decision he’d made to hide the truth from him over what Hunter had done to him the previous Saturday, but he was too terrified of what would happen if Ezra found out the truth and he continued to lie, despite how terrible it felt to do so.
A few days into the break David had formulated a plan, and though he wasn’t convinced it was a good one he couldn’t see another option for himself. He decided he was going to confront Hunter about what he’d done and try to threaten him into compliance. Was it going to work? He had no idea. Did he think he had any better ideas? At the moment he couldn’t see any. A few days into spring break, David called Hunter no matter how much he didn’t want to. It was no surprise to him when Hunter answered his call almost immediately, and the sound of his voice coming through the phone made his stomach ache.
“We need to talk,” David said, his voice stiff and unfriendly. “Are you home?”
“Yeah,” Hunter responded, his tone matching David’s perfectly.
“Are you alone?” David asked.
“Yeah,” Hunter responded again.
“I’m coming over,” David told him, and without waiting for a response he hung up. He tried not to think about the dangerous position he was putting himself in by going to Hunter’s house when he had just heard that no one else was there and forced himself to go over, knowing he needed to handle this as quickly and as quietly as possible if he was going to keep it off of Ezra’s radar and get Hunter’s behavior under control. When he was standing at the other boy’s front door, he took several seconds to try to compose himself and hide the fear he was feeling before knocking on the door. It didn’t take long before Hunter had answered and was standing in front of him, not moving to let him inside and not speaking a word of greeting.
David tried to ignore the way Hunter was looking at him with anger in his gray eyes still, as if David was somehow in the wrong. He stared up at Hunter, glaring at him hard and willing himself to sound bigger and tougher than he felt. “If you ever touch me or kiss me like that again, I’m telling everyone what you did,” he threatened.
“Oh, just get your boyfriend to come after me again,” Hunter retorted, clearly not remorseful for what he had done.
“Do you even care that you hurt me?” David asked, and when Hunter just continued to glare at him, he unzipped his hoodie and took it off, holding out both arms to display the bruises on his left upper arm and his right wrist that had spread out slightly in size and were a deep purple color. He saw as Hunter’s eyes looked at his skin and for the first time they registered regret. “I told you to stop, I told you you were hurting me and you didn’t listen or care at all,” he continued, before pulling his hoodie back on and zipping it up again.
“I’m sorry,” Hunter said, his voice sounding stiff and reluctant to say it at all.
“Where would that have stopped? If Pierre hadn’t-”
“Pierre?” Hunter asked, saying his name with an incredulous, mocking tone. “Your boyfriend’s name is Pierre?”
“Shut the fuck up!” David snapped at him uncharacteristically, beyond frustrated and tired of dealing with him. “I’m glad he happened to show up! Does it even register to you that you kissed me and I have a boyfriend?” he asked angrily.
Hunter ignored his question and shook his head, snidely spitting, “Didn’t see you going after such a basic looking dude, I figured if anything you were gonna start hooking up with Ezra behind my back.”
David stared at him, his mouth hanging open, before shaking his head and beginning to back away. “I’m done,” he said with a shrug. “I’m just done with you. I’m gonna go tell Ezra, Ben and Noah what you did on Saturday, and we’ll see how they feel about you then,” he said and he started to walk away, but within seconds Hunter had jogged out the door and stopped in front of him on the walkway, his hands held out.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, but David shook his head and looked away. “I’ll back off,” he added.
David gave a cynical laugh and looked at him again with angry wonder. “That’s what you say every time but you never actually do!”
“Hey, I’ve kept my hands to myself since I found out you had a boyfriend,” Hunter pointed out.
“Yeah, until you decided to grab me, refuse to let me go even though I told you you were hurting me, and kiss me,” David threw at him harshly.
“I’m sorry,” Hunter said again, sounding frustrated that David hadn’t just forgiven him right away.
“No you’re not!” David retorted. “If you were sorry you wouldn’t keep doing this to me!”
“I don’t mean to, I just lose control sometimes… I still love you. I’ve never stopped loving you,” he said, his voice becoming gentle, and as he did he took a step forward. David shook his head and stepped away from him, not taking his eyes off of Hunter even for a second. “I know if you just gave us another chance-”
“No,” David said firmly. “I’m with someone else now. I’m happy. He’s kind to me and gentle and if I don’t feel like having sex he doesn’t guilt trip me or try to take it from me. He doesn’t accuse me of not loving him. He doesn’t threaten to kill himself. He actually loves me and cares about me and respects me and wants to protect me. He’s never once hurt me. You don’t know what love is, all you know is obsession.” David and Hunter stared at each other for a long time, and for the moment Hunter seemed to be unable to try to defend himself. “I’ll let this go and pretend it never happened on the condition that you never touch me or kiss me again,” David said.
“David,” Hunter said as if he thought this was unreasonable.
“No, you don’t get to touch me or kiss me again ever. I don’t want it! Why is that not enough of a reason for you?” David asked him, shaking his head in disbelief. Hunter didn’t speak, though he looked like he wanted to. “You don’t have to agree, this is just what’s going to happen. I’m going to pretend this never happened so we can finish the school year peacefully. You’re going to respect that I’m with someone else and don’t want you to touch or kiss me. If you step over the line even one more time, I’m telling everyone what you did. I won’t hesitate. If you so much as make me uncomfortable I’m telling them everything, and if you think they’re not gonna have a problem with you forcing yourself on me, you don’t know your friends well enough.”
Hunter continued to stand and stare at David, not speaking, and David gave him one final glare before turning around and walking away. He headed straight to his car and got in, taking deep, steadying breaths as he turned the key, put on his seatbelt, and began to drive away without looking back. His eyes began to tear up and he felt panic beginning to well up inside of him but he shook his head and pushed it away, telling himself not to get emotional, not to let his fear of Hunter get the best of him. The threat of other people finding out about his bad behavior had worked on Hunter in the past and David comforted himself a little with the idea that it would work again. If it didn’t, he didn’t know what he was going to do.
Ezra came over to his house later that night and David snuggled with him on the couch, lying to him again and telling him he wasn’t feeling well. Ezra was sweet and simply cuddled with him, his fingers playing in his hair in an absentminded way that felt soothing. “I hope you feel better by Saturday so you can come to our show,” Ezra mused softly.
“I’m sure I will,” David reassured him, his voice quiet as he snuggled into Ezra’s neck to hide his face and the guilt he was feeling over his lie.
“I guess you picked a good time to be sick so you don’t have to miss a bunch of school,” Ezra continued. David nodded but didn’t respond, feeling too gross about lying to say anything else. He had forgotten that their band had a show that weekend and the idea of going to it was exciting, but he also felt apprehensive at the idea of seeing Hunter there and having to pretend like everything was normal.
The day of the show came and David found himself even more excited for this one than he had been for the last. He looked at himself in the mirror, feeling as he had last time that he was going to look out of place. He pulled the Pierce the Veil shirt Ezra had given to him at their last show from his drawer, which he had never given back at Ezra’s insistence that he keep it. He never wore this shirt because band tees weren’t his typical style and he worried about what Hunter would say or think, however he figured it would be safe enough to wear it to their show and he pulled it on before looking at himself in the mirror. Though Ezra was skinny, he was tall and his shoulders and chest were more broad than David’s were and his shirts were large on him because of it. David had tailored the shirt to fit him a couple of months previously, making the sleeves and length of the shirt shorter and removing a good amount of the fabric at the sides so that it fit his torso much more snugly. He paired the shirt with the only pair of ripped black skinny jeans that he had and liked the way he looked, though he still felt like he was trying on someone else’s style to dress this way.
He went to the bathroom and casually styled his hair, making it look just slightly messy in the right kind of way, and added some black pencil eyeliner to his upper waterline just under his eyelashes, making them look thicker and darker. He looked at his arm and then at his wrist, seeing that the bruises were almost completely gone in the week since he’d gotten them. There were just a handful of spots left that were a pale yellow color and he thought he could explain them away if they were seen as having bumped into something, but they were so faint in color on his pale skin that he doubted they would be noticeable unless he pointed them out. He contemplated throwing a hoodie on just to be safe, but he knew how hot he was going to get at the show and didn’t want the hassle of having to deal with the hoodie at that point, so he decided it would be fine to not bring one. When he was satisfied with his appearance he slipped on his pair of black vans, grabbed his keys and headed out.
As he walked down the driveway, he became aware of the mail truck driving away down the street. He glanced at his phone and saw that he was still plenty early so he jogged down to the mailbox and grabbed the mail, flipping through it as he walked back up the driveway, intent on throwing it inside the door. An envelope from the Fashion Institute of Technology caught his eye and stopped him in his tracks, his eyes widening as he registered what he was holding. He stared at it for a second, afraid to open it, afraid of what it was going to say, readying himself for a rejection that he had anticipated since he’d applied. He turned the envelope over in his shaking hands and opened it carefully, taking longer than he should to pull out the contents and look at them. The moment David realized that he was holding a catalog he knew what it meant and he hurried to unfold the letter, his eyes scanning the words on the page in a stupor as if none of it was real.
“I got in,” he whispered to himself, his eyes filling with tears as he stared at the paper in his hand. “Oh my god, I got in.” David looked up and around, wishing that there was someone around to share this moment with him, that he could run to his dad or his mom, yelling and waving the letter in the air. He wanted to hug someone and cry but he stood there alone and for a moment sadness settled over him, knowing that it would be a few more weeks until he could share this news with his dad, and knowing that he could never share it with his mom no matter how desperately he wished he could.
And then Ezra ran through his mind and for a moment David felt excited, wishing it was safe to call him and tell him on the spot but knowing he was likely already on the way to the venue and unsure if he would be with one of the other guys or if he would have driven by himself in his truck. As he thought of him, a new reality hit him like a ton of bricks, something he hadn’t thought about even once thus far having never anticipated that he would actually stand a chance of getting into FIT: This college was in New York City, and Ezra was not. He felt the joy that had so briefly exploded inside of him crash down around his feet, feeling as if a weight had dropped into his stomach at the realization of what this meant. He could go to New York despite the fact that Ezra wouldn’t be there, or he could turn down this incredible opportunity in order to stay with his boyfriend. In that moment, David’s mind stopped thinking, unable to cope with the dilemma before him. He didn't have it in him to weigh those options now or what either would mean and he went back into his house, tossed the mail on his desk in his bedroom, and left again, pushing the anxiety that had threatened to overwhelm him back down into his stomach and refusing to think about it.
David forced his mind to stay blank as he drove to the venue, allowing the music playing through the speakers to roll through his ears and keep him distracted. Occasionally his mind would wander back to the acceptance letter and his eyes would start to fill with tears and feelings of panic creeped up inside of him but each time this happened he quickly got control of himself and forced the thoughts away again.
He was parking before he’d even really registered that he got there and he headed straight to the back of the building, wanting to keep himself busy and to forget he’d even gotten the acceptance letter, at least for a little while. Just as he had suspected he would, he saw Hunter’s van and the four boys working together to unload their stuff and David wasted no time in approaching, greeting Noah, who had his arms full of cables. “Let me help,” David offered, and he took the cables from Noah which were heavier than he expected them to be but he leaned back a little and managed his way inside with them. The moment his eyes met Ezra’s he saw as Ezra’s face lit up and he couldn’t help but smile in return, his eyes on him in a way that he knew was more than friendly. When Hunter walked into his field of view, David looked down at the cables he was carrying for a distraction and walked up to the stage to set them down. Hunter stopped and looked at him but David turned quickly and walked off of the stage and back to the hallway, intent on avoiding a conversation with him.
“Hey,” Hunter’s voice came from behind. David turned and looked at him, discomfort immediately on his face. “I just wanted to actually say I’m sorry,” he continued, and this time David thought it sounded sincere. He took a step back and turned to face Hunter fully, his hand absentmindedly moving to grab his arm where Hunter had bruised him. “I was an ass when you talked to me before. I was too wrapped up in my own bullshit to hear what you were saying.”
David leaned away from him a little, feeling uncomfortable and not wanting to talk about this further. He knew what always happened when it seemed like he finally got through to Hunter, and the way he would respect David’s wishes for a few weeks before convincing himself again that David was still in love with him. Movement from the backdoor drew both of their attention and Noah and Ben walked through carrying a load of equipment. David and Hunter both stepped away, their backs hitting the opposite walls and giving the other boys nods as they passed. When they were out of ear shot, Hunter took a step forward again but David remained in place against the wall, nervously watching the other boy.
“I’m not looking for forgiveness, I just want you to know that I regret what I did last Saturday… way more than I could ever explain to you, and I’m really sorry,” Hunter said, his gray eyes sad. More movement from the backdoor told David that Ezra was walking through and he leaned further into the wall, turning to look at him with nervous eyes. Ezra looked between the two of them and immediately David’s body language and facial expression told him that something was happening. His eyes shot to Hunter who didn’t back away as Ezra approached the way he had for Ben and Noah. The two stared at each other hard, Ezra glaring at Hunter, silently threatening him and sending a very clear message not to try anything with David.
When Ezra’s feet slowed to an almost stop in front of Hunter, the two were so close that the amp Ezra carried brushed against Hunter’s body. David stepped forward and put his hands on Ezra’s back, pushing him to continue walking. He continued to walk with Ezra without a glance back at Hunter, pushing him forward, determined to avoid a fight between them even if Hunter wouldn’t like the way he’d touched Ezra or escaped his apology. He didn’t want to hear what Hunter had to say, or that for once he actually realized that he had done something wrong. It was far too late for that, and the only reason he’d said he would move on as if it hadn’t happened was to keep Ezra from knowing about it so that he didn’t hunt him down and try to beat the crap out of him. Of course David didn’t want the two to get into a fight, but there was also a large part of David that was scared for Ezra should something like that happen. Hunter was filled with a deep rage that Ezra didn’t have inside of him, and no matter how angry Ezra got David just couldn’t imagine that Hunter wouldn’t end up winning in a fight; he was ruthless in a way that David thought Ezra could never be.
“It’s not worth it,” David whispered once they were out of Hunter’s sight, and he took one handle of the amp from Ezra to help him carry it in order to have an excuse to keep walking with him. Ezra took a step to the side to allow the amp to come directly between them.
“What was he saying to you?” Ezra asked, though as he did Ben and Noah walked by and the two went silent until they were gone.
“It doesn’t matter. He’s not worth getting in a fight,” David replied in a hushed voice.
“He was making you uncomfortable,” Ezra pointed out, but David just shook his head at him.
“Please, for me, just forget it. Trust me when I say I have Hunter under control,” David practically begged.
Ezra and David both set the amp down on the stage and Ezra looked over at David, displeased but giving a nod. Without another word they walked out to the van again, though David could see the way Ezra and Hunter glared at each other as they passed again. After several more trips all of the equipment and instruments had been brought up to the stage and David stood down on the floor and watched as they got everything put together. He noticed an electric keyboard with a microphone attached and an acoustic guitar on stage that hadn’t been present at their last show and wondered about their presence. They did their various sound checks for the instruments and microphones, and David couldn’t help but notice that it was Ezra who grabbed and tuned the acoustic guitar, and Hunter who tested the sound levels of the keyboard. Were they going to play an acoustic song? Soon they were all hopping down off the stage and walking over to David. They bantered playfully with the exception of Ezra and Hunter who had resumed ignoring each other, and before long the sounds of other people could be heard filing in through the doors.
When the room had filled and it was time to get the show started, David stood at the front of the floor closest to the stage, positioning himself so he was closest to Ezra. Just the sight of him on stage with his guitar made David’s heart beat wildly and his stomach flutter. He had a fuzzy sensation coursing through his chest and limbs and he had to keep reminding himself to keep the desire off of his face and to look around at the other three on stage so it wouldn’t be incredibly obvious how much he wanted Ezra. He knew that Hunter would be watching him, that he would steal glances his way and try to sing to him, but already David could feel that he was going to struggle to keep his facial expression under control. Ezra looked down at him with a suggestive smirk and a raised eyebrow and David felt his entire body flush with heat, feeling powerless to how incredibly hot he found the other boy. Ezra’s smirk grew wider and David knew his desire was too legible on his face and in his body language, and he knew he was in trouble.
The moment they started playing it was like a wall of sound that coursed through his body. It was only David’s second time experiencing live music and he found it just as intoxicating as the first time had been, the novelty not worn off in the slightest of the way the drums thudded in his chest and the guitars made his limbs vibrate and the sounds of Hunter’s and Ezra’s voices gave him goosebumps and made his chest squeeze. It was an odd, almost giddy sensation, it made him want to move and sing and scream all at once and he gave into each sensation, allowing his body to move and his voice to cry out whenever his body demanded it. This time he had learned their music and could sing with them from the crowd, though he knew his voice couldn’t make the screaming noises that Hunter and Ezra could and instead just yelled the lyrics, all of which he had learned by heart over the several months since they’d last performed. His voice was completely drowned out by the speakers, so he knew it didn’t matter what he sounded like, anyway.
The first time Ezra looked down at him and saw David singing along with them, looking alive and grinning as they made eye contact, the pure joy he felt radiated out of every part of him. David knew they held their eye contact too long, knew that they were too obviously sharing a moment and flirting with each other, but he felt sucked into the moment with the other boy, like they were sharing a new connection that they hadn’t before. He could see how much it meant to Ezra in the other boy’s face and the way he played and sang with more enthusiasm, and suddenly David felt addicted to watching Ezra perform, like his life wouldn’t be the same without it, like he needed to experience it again and again. There was nothing else like it and he loved it so much more intensely than he could have anticipated. He had known that watching Ezra on stage now that they were together was going to be different, but he never could have guessed just how different it would be.
After entirely too long of this, David got control of himself and forced himself to look away, moving his eyes very purposefully to Noah instead of Hunter. He didn’t want it to look like he was seeing if Hunter had noticed, though he felt positive there was no way that Hunter hadn’t seen him and Ezra singing to each other. David just continued to sing, trying to show the same enthusiasm as he watched Noah, though he knew it lacked the same intensity and that there was nothing he could do about that. He couldn’t manufacture the intense connection that he and Ezra shared and show it to another person. What he shared with Ezra felt so real and natural that there was no way he would be able to fake it with someone else to cover their tracks. Still, he did his best to pretend that nothing had happened with Ezra and kept his eyes on Noah for a little bit before moving onto Hunter, as much as he didn’t want to.
When his eyes found Hunter, David was unsurprised to see the other boy was already looking at him. David thought the expression on his face was off but he ignored it and continued to sing, acting as if everything was entirely normal, not allowing his smile to falter or for any level of discomfort or panic to show on his face. Soon Hunter’s expression returned to normal and he smiled, filling David with relief that he had clearly moved on. He worried vaguely about what looking into Hunter’s eyes and singing his songs with him was going to do to the other boy and what kind of behavior he would display going forward as a result of it despite the conversation they’d just had days before, but he knew if he was going to keep suspicion off of him and Ezra he didn’t have a choice. He had to at least attempt to show Hunter the same attention that he had shown to Ezra, even if it wasn’t as intense and his eyes weren’t screaming how badly he wanted to see the other boy naked.
When the song ended David relaxed for a second, breathing harder than usual and sweating already. The room was hot and there were bodies all around him but for once being touched by strangers didn’t bother him, hardly even noticing their presence. He watched as Hunter spoke to the crowd, doing his frontman duties and getting the crowd excited for their show. He heard a shrill scream to the side of him that sounded familiar and he looked over, seeing the girl from the last show that had kissed Hunter, his former classmate who was strangely friendly with him despite the fact that they had never once spoken before in the years they had gone to school together. She noticed him looking and returned his gaze, smiling and waving once she realized it was him. David smiled and waved back, though the sound of Ezra’s voice joking in a playful way with Hunter surprised him and he looked quickly back up, watching in deep shock as Hunter and Ezra very naturally interacted as if nothing had ever happened and they still loved each other as best friends. After everything that had happened, the sight was nothing short of shocking.
Soon they started their next song and the crowd was wild again. It didn’t take long for a mosh pit to start and this time David willingly entered it, feeling that same, inexplicable, aggressive joy coursing through his body as he bounced and jumped and pushed along with a sea of bodies. David stayed in the mosh pit through the entirety of the song, not thinking of anything other than the urges of his body and the music in his ears. It was intoxicating and exhilarating and again he felt alive in a way that was foreign to him and that he couldn’t get enough of. Such an activity was entirely outside of his wheelhouse and usually he was fairly sensitive to pain and injury, but there was something about the mosh pit that subverted all of those usual instincts in him. Being pushed didn’t scare him, having a body crash into his didn’t hurt, and putting his hands on another person didn’t feel wrong. He couldn’t explain it even to himself, but he loved it wholeheartedly.
When the song ended, David stayed where he was standing instead of moving back to be directly in front of Ezra, knowing it would be best for him not to plant himself firmly in front of Ezra and stare at him the whole night no matter how much he wanted to do exactly that. The next song took off without silly banter in between and again the crowd was moving, though the mosh pit didn’t start right away. As he had with the first song, David took turns looking at each of the boys on stage and sang the song with them the whole time, showing his enthusiasm through his music without embarrassment or feeling self conscious. It didn’t take long before his former classmate was holding her hand up and this time Hunter reached down and grabbed her to pull her up on stage. David wondered if this was a regular thing at their shows or if she just felt emboldened because she had done it the last time. He smiled as he watched her lean into Hunter’s microphone and sing with him, Hunter standing on the other side so they shared it.
Hunter looked over at David, his expression changing to something that looked like contemplation. Then he looked back at the girl and gave her a nod and a suggestive smile and she wasted no time in kissing him again as she had done at the last show. This time, however, Hunter seemed less caught off guard having asked for it, and he kissed her back far more passionately than he had the last time. Ezra’s voice took over the song and the crowd screamed at the sight of Hunter grabbing her face and fully making out with her. David’s eyes widened as he watched them, kissing for longer than they did last time, actually using tongue this time. When they pulled apart the girl looked dazed and stared at Hunter for a few seconds before he gave her a wink and went back to singing. She jumped off the stage the same way that she had the last time and immediately Hunter’s eyes were on David again. The way he was looking at him told David that this kiss had been a calculated move to try to make him jealous, something which hadn’t worked even a little bit. He just cupped his hands around his mouth and screamed as if he’d loved the show just as much as the rest of the crowd, unwilling to give Hunter the emotion out of him that he had been looking for.
Around halfway through their set, Hunter and Ezra both set their electric guitars down off to the side and David watched as Ezra slung the acoustic guitar around his body and Hunter went to sit at the keyboard. Hunter leaned into the microphone and said, “We’re gonna slow it down for a second with an oldie but a goodie by Pierce the Veil.” He started to play notes on the keyboard, a soft, pretty tune that David recognized and found a little surprising. “This is Stay Away From My Friends, sing it if you know it,” he added, earning cheers from the crowd, and as he said the name of the song Hunter’s eyes looked over at David. David thought that Hunter had worked this into their set to send David a message, though when Ezra stepped up to his microphone and started to sing, the irritation David felt was immediately wiped away.
“Waking up your neighbors downstairs. I’ve been inside your bedroom a thousand years and as you tie me to your bed for good I say that I want you in the most unromantic ways,” Ezra sang, Hunter’s voice singing the melodies here and there. David found himself standing in front of Ezra again though he wasn’t consciously aware of moving to him, feeling as if the air in his lungs and his heart in his chest were slowing down. His voice was beautiful and hearing him singing the song as lead vocals instead of as backup vocals was an entirely new experience. Ben joined in on the drums as Ezra continued to sing, adding a new dimension to the song. “Louisiana, you’re torturing me with a beautiful face. Ana, come on, I thought we had a damn good thing. A penny in the couch and a diamond ring.”
And then Hunter and Ben both stopped playing and Ezra began to strum on his acoustic guitar, again changing the sound of the song and making Ezra’s voice stand out even more. “Baby, stay away from my friends ‘cause I need them to carry me when it’s over. I’ll count back from ten and you can listen to glass hearts shattering,” Ezra sang entirely on his own without any melody from Hunter. And then Hunter began to play again, Ben resumed drumming, and as one all four of them were playing. “I don’t know how you got into me down my throat and made a home in my veins. They used to be the rivers that would take us away. Now you only call me every Christmas and my birthday. I still can’t believe how you look next to me just like a strip club bedroom scene.”
Ezra’s voice jumped up an octave and he sang the chorus again, his eyes closing tight and his face contorting as if he was screaming, his voice holding the perfect sort of rasp as passion tainted his words. “Baby, stay away from my friends ‘cause I need them to carry me when it’s over! I’ll count back from ten and you can listen to something that you’ve never heard before!” David felt like the sound was alive inside of his body. It was intense and he couldn’t believe how incredibly high and powerfully Ezra could sing, the sound sending shivers down his spine and through his limbs and making him want to cry for a reason he couldn’t explain. Hunter sang soft vocals in the background, his voice sounding softer and less passionate than Ezra’s did but adding such a pretty effect.
When Ezra started to sing again, David didn’t know how it was possible but his voice was even more passionate and moving and David actually teared up a little, unable to take his eyes off of the boy in front of him, having been completely unaware that he had this inside of him. “But you don’t know what it’s like to wake up in the middle of the night scaring the thought of kissing razors. This blood evacuation is telling me to cave in. Stay away…” Ezra held out the last word for many long seconds, his voice never wavering, the note perfect and raspy and strong.
“Just stay away,” Ezra continued, and suddenly all of the instruments dropped off except for the piano as he finished, “From my friends.” His voice was soft again as he sang the last words of the song and his eyes opened, finding David finally and staring down at him with a dazed sort of look, like he was coming out of a trance. The piano continued for several more seconds before fading into the background. The audience began to scream and cheer and David was among them, his eyes still locked onto Ezra who was grinning down at him now. David couldn’t control the beaming smile on his face and the love for the other boy that was pouring from his eyes or the way he was certain he looked entirely head over heels infatuated with him. He didn’t care that Hunter was probably looking at him and hating the way they were looking at each other. In that moment, he was entirely helpless to what he was feeling.
The rest of the show passed by in a blur. David joined the mosh pit several more times and though he moved around depending on where the mosh pit formed, he always eventually found his way back to Ezra’s side of the stage, enjoying looking up at him and singing his songs with him. For the wildest second David saw himself jumping on stage with them and kissing Ezra in the same way that girl had kissed Hunter but he allowed the urge to pass with nothing more than a laugh, knowing it was ridiculous and would cause absolute chaos no matter how fun it was to think about. He worried less about how much he was looking at Ezra and how much Ezra was looking at him, loving the moments when Ezra sang and screamed instead of Hunter, loving the sound of his voice and the passion in his face. The expression he made when he screamed made David feel like he was on the verge of melting into a puddle of goo where he stood and he couldn’t control how badly he wanted to take him back to his house and be fucked by him. In that moment, he didn’t want Ezra to be gentle with him, he wanted him to grab him and throw him down and take him however he wanted to.
When the last song was over and they ended their set, David watched as the lights came back on and they began to tear down the set. David was breathing harder than usual and was covered in sweat but he didn’t care, feeling an adrenaline rush that he had only ever gotten from watching them play.
“Hey! You’re here again!” David heard behind him and he turned, seeing the girl that Hunter had just kissed. He felt bad that he didn’t remember her name, having never actually talked to her when they had gone to school together, even more so because she knew his name, but he didn’t feel he could ask at that point.
“Yeah, I’m here with them again,” David told her, pointing toward the boys on stage with his thumb in a nonchalant manner.
“It’s so crazy that you’re friends with them,” she said, sounding star struck.
“They’re just a bunch of high school kids like us,” he pointed out with a smile. “Really, they’re just totally normal, dumb boys,” he added, smiling wider. David was visited by the urge to tell her that Ezra was his boyfriend but he resisted it, knowing only bad things could come from saying this. Still, he wished he could.
She laughed at his comment and looked back up at them, and David could see the way she stared at Hunter with a dreamy look in her eyes. “He’s so fucking hot,” she muttered breathlessly.
David was visited by another urge, an urge to tell her to stay away from Hunter, to tell her that he was dangerous, that he had only kissed her like that to try to make him jealous, but again he held himself back. He didn’t think any good would come of it and knew that Hunter wasn’t actually interested in girls at all. He figured Hunter was no actual threat to her and allowed the desire to protect her from him to fade away, responding with a nod and a simple, “Yeah.” Despite how much he hated Hunter at that point, he knew it would be stupid to deny how physically attractive he was. Hunter may have been an obsessive monster, but he was a hot obsessive monster.
David noticed as Hunter looked over at him, seeming surprised to see him standing and talking to the girl he had just kissed. David smiled and gave him a wave, taking too much joy in displaying his complete lack of jealousy. Hunter simply gave him a nod and tossed him a water bottle, which David caught with both hands. Then, whether because he felt like he needed to address her since she was standing there or for some other reason, Hunter grabbed another water bottle and walked to the edge of the stage, staring the girl in the eyes with a charming smile and holding the bottle out to her. Her entire face lit up and she walked forward to grab it, giving him a breathy, “Thanks,” as she took it. Hunter winked at her again and David fought the urge to roll his eyes and pretend to gag, though he couldn’t hold back the tiny shake of his head he gave.
When she walked back over to David her eyes were wide and she gave a squeal through a tightly closed mouth as if she was trying with everything inside of her to hold it back but couldn’t quite manage to. David laughed a little and shook his head as he said, “He’s really just a normal guy.”
“Yeah but look at him,” she breathed, turning to look at him on stage again.
David gave another soft laugh followed by a quiet sigh and again he said, “Yeah.”
She looked back at him suddenly, a nervous expression on her face as she said, “You don’t… like him, do you?”
“No,” David responded quickly and seriously, his eyes widening and his head shaking. “Trust me, no. I have absolutely no interest in him whatsoever.”
“Is he dating anyone?” she asked, accepting David’s assurances without a second thought.
“Nope, totally single, not even hooking up with anyone,” David told her. Again, he wanted to tell her to stay away from Hunter but he knew it wasn’t a good idea. He suddenly wondered how far Hunter would be willing to take these stupid attempts to make him jealous but he reassured himself that Hunter identified as completely gay and wouldn’t possibly date or have sex with this girl just to make him jealous. At least, he hoped that he wouldn’t be that heartless.
She looked back at Hunter and replied with nothing more than a quiet, “Hmm.” She continued to hang out with David, even when the next band started. David wondered if she was hoping that she would get to interact more with Hunter by staying near him. Before long Hunter, Ezra, Noah and Ben were walking up to him and David gave them all a nod and a smile. David quickly realized that Hunter was willing to take it too far with this girl because he looked at David meaningfully before turning to her and smiling. David watched as Hunter leaned down to her ear and said something to her, and heard her yell back, “Emma!” over the music. Hunter said something else in her ear and her expression changed to one of excitement and intrigue.
David shook his head a little and took a few steps back so he was standing just in front of Ezra to his left, telling himself he couldn’t worry about what Hunter was doing and if he was going to hurt this girl - Emma, apparently - to try to get his attention, as bad as he felt for her. Seeing that Hunter was distracted with her and that Noah and Ben were both watching the band that was playing, David took a risk and reached behind him, grabbing Ezra’s pinky finger with his. He felt as Ezra moved to stand more squarely behind him, forcing David to drop his pinky. Instead he felt Ezra’s hand on his lower back, dipping under the hem of shirt a little, his fingertips ghosting along the waistband of his jeans and moving to grasp at his side. David’s cheeks flushed and he bit down on his lip. Seeing that everyone in front of them was still distracted he chanced a glance at Ezra over his shoulder, his eyes clouded with desire, and saw Ezra staring back at him with the same look on his face.
David looked forward again, and when he did he saw Hunter walking Emma over to the far wall. Once he had her against the wall, Hunter wasted no time in kissing her again. David shook his head again and looked forward toward Ben and Noah who were both watching Hunter and were also shaking their heads at him. It seemed they were just as aware of what Hunter was doing as he was. At least he’s distracted, I guess, David thought, though immediately he felt guilty over the thought because he knew that Emma was most definitely going to get her heart broken by him.
David was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt Ezra lean down to his ear, his hand gripping his hip as he said, “Meet me out back.”
David turned and looked at him, his eyes burning with desire, before turning forward again to hide the exchange that had just taken place between them. He waited a few minutes and when he turned around again Ezra was gone. David knew he couldn’t just disappear at the same time as Ezra without raising suspicion so he looked at his phone and then stepped up to Ben and Noah, speaking loudly enough to be heard over the music as he said, “Hey, I have to head out!”
“Already?” Ben yelled back, but David nodded. “Alright, see you later!”
David nodded and waved before turning to head for the front door. He knew they would need to see him leave through the front door if his excuse was going to be believable. Once he got outside, he walked around the side of the building to the back, smiling when he saw Ezra leaning against the building and waiting for him. David walked up and grabbed his shirt, unable to hold himself back as he started kissing him, but Ezra laughed against his lips and pushed him back a little. “Hold on,” Ezra said, smiling at the look of impatience on David’s face, before grabbing David’s hand and pulling him around to the other side of the building. As soon as they were several feet down, Ezra turned and grabbed onto David, pushing him against the wall and kissing him again.
David wrapped his arms around Ezra’s neck and pulled himself tight against his body, wanting to feel every part of him and unable to wait. He wished they were back at his house already, that he could tear off the other boy’s clothes and feel him inside of him. Ezra grabbed the backs of David’s thighs and lifted him up, holding him against the building with his body and bringing David’s legs around his hips. David moaned in his mouth and his body reacted to this move of its own accord, his knees bending and his legs wrapping around him as he kissed him more hungrily than he ever had before. He used his legs to pull Ezra in closer, feeling how hard he was against him and moaning again desperately as how badly he wanted him overwhelmed him completely, making him feel wild.
Ezra pulled back and kissed under his jaw, biting his skin, earning more moaning from David who leaned his head back against the wall with his eyes closed. Ezra continued to kiss and bite his neck, making David feel like he was going to explode. He tangled his fingers in Ezra’s hair and pulled, moaning out the words, “Fuck, you’re so hot.”
“Your house tonight?” Ezra asked against his neck.
“Yeah… I want you to throw me down and fuck me so hard I can’t walk straight,” David moaned, too turned on to be embarrassed at how dirty his words were. Ezra moaned against his neck at these words and found David’s lips again, his tongue massaging against David’s, his hands desperately moving under his shirt and pushing it up.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” Ben’s voice came suddenly, and the sound broke David and Ezra apart faster than they would have thought humanly possible. Within a second Ezra had dropped David back to the ground and the two had stepped apart, turning to stare at Ben with wide eyes and red faces. Ben walked closer to them, his face lit up with confusion, anger, and disappointment. “Hunter’s gonna kill you!” he continued, looking specifically at Ezra now.
“He doesn’t have to find out,” Ezra said urgently.
“You’re just gonna keep this a secret?!” Ben asked. He looked at David as if he was seeing him for the first time and David cowered back from him like a child scolded by a parent. “You have a boyfriend!” Ben threw at him.
“Uhh…” David replied sheepishly, before turning his head slowly and looking up at Ezra. He looked back at Ben, a guilty smile on his lips that was verging on a grimace.
Ben stared at him for a moment before it seemed to dawn on him and his jaw dropped, his eyes looking between the two of them. “EZRA is your boyfriend?!” When David gave a tiny nod, Ben slapped both hands over his face and muttered, “He’s gonna kill you.” Then he dropped his hands from his face and looked back and forth between David and Ezra again, comprehension in his eyes. “Wait, those hickeys?” he said questioningly, and Ezra bit his lips together, looking guilty. Ben’s eyes were back on David, accusatory and baffled. “You told us about that when we came back from winter break! This has been going on since JANUARY?!”
“November, actually…” Ezra admitted under his breath, looking down and away as he said it.
“NOVEM-” Ben started, but cut himself off in shock. “Holy fucking shit. Hunter is literally going to KILL you!”
“He doesn’t have to know!” Ezra argued. “He’s busy with that girl right now, anyway!”
“Oh come on, you know he’s just doing that to try to make David jealous,” Ben threw back at him.
“Maybe not, you never know,” Ezra tried hopefully, but Ben just stared at him, his face deadpan and clearly unamused.
Then, ignoring the comment about the girl entirely, Ben argued, “You can’t keep messing around behind his back forever! You know how he feels about David. And you!” Suddenly he turned his attention to David directly and David shrunk into himself again. “His BEST FRIEND?! Why did you have to go after his best friend of all people?!”
“He didn’t go after me, I went after him!” Ezra interjected angrily, drawing Ben’s eyes back to him with a look of surprise. “David said we couldn’t do it over and over, he’s the one that kept us apart because he didn’t want to hurt Hunter and ruin our friendship, even though Hunter’s done nothing but hurt him and disrespect him and treat him like shit! You have no idea what-”
“Ezra, don’t,” David cut him off, grabbing his arm and shaking his head.
Ezra let out a frustrated sigh and stared into David’s eyes, wanting Ben to understand all that Hunter had done, knowing his friend would be looking at them less accusingly if he knew, but he wanted to respect David’s wishes and the fact that those were his secrets to keep or tell.
“You have to stop or you have to tell him,” Ben said firmly, pulling their attention back to him.
“I can’t stop,” Ezra admitted, sounding sad and weak as he did.
“Then you have to tell him,” Ben said with a shrug.
“He’s moving to New York in a few months anyway,” Ezra pointed out. “What’s it’s gonna hurt to just let him move away and never find out?”
David’s face fell at these words, suddenly remembering the acceptance letter from FIT that he’d gotten that morning. He turned to look at Ezra, staring up at him sadly as he said, “I might be too…”
Ezra turned to look at him, Ben forgotten for the moment, his eyes showing hurt and confusion as he replied with a hesitant, “...What?”
“I got into that fashion school in New York… It’s the best one in the country. I just got the letter right before I left for the show,” David explained. Ezra stared down at him, his face registering devastation. “I didn’t have a chance to tell you yet…” When Ezra just continued to stare at him as if his world was crumbling under his feet, David grabbed his hand and whispered, “I don’t have to go.”
“Yes you do,” Ezra replied sadly, his voice devastatingly soft. David’s eyes filled with tears as he stared up at him, a moment of painful understanding passing between them that stole all words from either of them.
“You guys can’t keep this a secret from him,” Ben said, and suddenly they both remembered that he was standing there. “This is clearly not just a hookup thing,” he continued, motioning between them with a hand.
Ezra shook his head and looked down, giving a soft, “No, it was never just a hookup thing.”
“Fuck, man,” Ben muttered, shaking his head and turning around for a second. “I just snuck out here for a fucking cigarette and heard moaning and found you two practically banging against the wall,” he continued, sounding deeply frustrated.
“I’m sorry,” Ezra said quietly.
“You!” Ben said, turning and pointing at David with a look of total bewilderment. “You act all quiet and shy but Jesus Christ, hearing you say you want Ezra to throw you down and fuck you so hard you can’t walk straight...” David blushed hard and looked down, shrinking into himself in complete embarrassment.
“Okay, we don’t need a replay,” Ezra said quickly.
“It’s burned into my mind now,” Ben said dramatically. “It’s always the quiet ones,” he added, shaking his head slowly. “So wait… when I came out and yelled at you about sleeping on the couch with David, you were already…?” Ezra looked guilty and Ben had his answer. “I knew you were lying!” he said angrily.
“Hey! To be fair that was the first time anything actually happened,” Ezra defended himself. “I mean, we’d made out twice before but that was the first time something actually happened,” he added. David groaned and hid his face in his hands, wanting to turn invisible and never be seen again.
Ben’s eyes narrowed and he looked at Ezra with deep distrust. “What happened on the couch?” he asked slowly.
“We didn’t fuck if that’s what you’re thinking,” Ezra said.
“Ezra!” David said, dropping his hands and staring at the other boy, his face bright red.
“What? We didn’t!” Ezra responded, shrinking back a little. “We just sucked-” he started, but David threw his hands over Ezra’s mouth and stared at him with wide eyes, begging him to stop talking with his stare.
“We started dating the next day and we’ve been together ever since,” David admitted quickly, no longer trusting Ezra with providing any details, and looking back at Ben whose face had gone red at what Ezra had started to say.
“So this is like… actually serious,” Ben said uncomfortably. When they both just nodded at him, Ben sighed and looked up at the sky with a groan. “Why did it have to be me?” he asked rhetorically, though the next second he was looking back at them with a serious expression. “You’re lucky it was me and not Hunter or Noah. Hunter would have murdered you on the spot, and Noah can’t keep a secret to save his life.”
“So… you’re not gonna tell him?” David asked nervously.
“No, because you are,” Ben said firmly, before turning his gaze back to Ezra. “He hates you now anyway because he can see how into David you are. We’ve all been able to see it for months,” he threw at Ezra with a shake of his head. He looked back at David, adding, “I just didn’t think you’d actually do anything. We could all tell you liked Ezra but we didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to actually start hooking up with him.”
“Don’t fucking call him stupid,” Ezra said, taking a step toward Ben, who immediately puffed up in response, but David grabbed Ezra’s chest and held him back, Ezra responding to his touch despite the fact that he could have easily pulled out of it.
Ben ignored Ezra’s words and glared at him, saying, “You have to tell him and you know it.”
“How?” Ezra asked incredulously. “Should I just walk up to him and say, ‘Oh by the way, I’ve been dating your ex for the last four months’?”
“I don’t know, you’re gonna have to figure it out. You knew what it would mean when you started this, there’s no way you weren’t both aware,” Ben responded.
“Do you want me to do it?” David asked, turning to look at Ezra.
“No way, he’ll probably freak out and force himself on you again,” Ezra replied without hesitation.
“Ezra!” David scolded him, his voice hushed.
“I’m serious!” Ezra argued, feeling too serious about the threat of Hunter to care in that moment that David didn’t want him to say this in front of Ben. “He’s unstable and obsessed with you! He’s way too dangerous for you to be the one that tells him.”
“Dangerous?” Ben asked skeptically.
David looked at him and shook his head, holding up a hand as he said, “No.”
“Yes!” Ezra replied, not taking his eyes off of David for a second. “I’m not letting him hurt you again!”
“David, he’s hurt you before?” Ben asked, his voice heavy with concern.
David subconsciously grabbed his arm but shook his head, giving a firm, “No.”
“Yes! He has! And he’ll do it again!” Ezra argued, grabbing David’s arms and looking at him desperately. “What if it’s worse next time? I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since you told me, it eats me alive thinking about it and not being able to do something! I have to look at his stupid face every day and pretend that I don’t know he’s a fucking monster!”
“Ezra just STOP!” David yelled, overwhelmed with too many feelings to even process. He knew that his words were true and he felt them just as deeply. He was terrified to be around Hunter, especially after what he’d done to him just a week prior, but he also felt shame at having these secrets spilled to Ben, not wanting the other boy to know anything about any of it. He covered his face with his hands and leaned back against the building wall, slipping easily from Ezra’s grasp. He stood there in the silence that followed, breathing hard and willing himself not to cry in front of Ben.
“Look…” Ben started, and Ezra turned to look at him but David remained as he was, afraid that he was going to lose control of his emotions with Ben standing right there. “There’s clearly a lot going on here that I don’t know about, and honestly, I don’t know if I want to know about it but… I’m not gonna say anything. But you both know it’s wrong to keep hanging out with him every day while you’re together behind his back and he has no idea, even if you hate him now and aren’t even friends anymore. You know it’s wrong.”
“I’ll figure it out,” Ezra said quietly. “I’m not saying it’s gonna be tomorrow, but… I’ll do it.” Slowly David dropped his hands from his face and he looked at Ezra, his eyes wide and sad. “And you telling him is not an option,” he reiterated firmly. “I know you don’t want him to hurt me, but let’s face it, that’s gonna happen when he finds out no matter what. We’ve always known that. He’s gonna come after me, even if I’m not the one he hears it from, and he’s gonna try to hurt me. You can’t put yourself in his path when that happens.” David nodded and Ezra gave a sad sigh, stepping up to him and pulling him into his arms.
“This is too weird,” Ben said, turning around and shaking his head, though he quickly turned back around and looked at them seriously. “Okay, you need to get back inside before Hunter gets suspicious about why you’ve been gone so long,” he said, pointing at Ezra. “And you need to leave before he goes outside and sees your car is still here,” he added, redirecting to David.
David nodded and looked up at Ezra, smiling sadly. “You still coming over later?” he asked quietly.
“As soon as I can get away, I’m there,” Ezra responded, moving his hand to brush his thumb against David’s cheek.
“Okay, okay, enough with the love fest, let’s go,” Ben said, clapping at them like dogs to try to get them to break apart.
“You should turn around,” Ezra said bluntly. When Ben just stared impatiently at him, Ezra shrugged and turned back to David, not hesitating before pulling his face up and kissing him. He heard Ben groan and he couldn’t help but smile against David’s lips. He pulled back a little and pressed his forehead against David’s, whispering, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” David whispered back, his eyes still closed and his brow furrowed.
Ezra couldn’t help himself as he gave David another kiss before backing away from him. “Are you still gonna be all worked up when I get over there or do I need to bring my guitar?” he asked flirtatiously.
“Please bring your acoustic guitar,” David responded quickly, sounding desperate as he did and causing Ezra to smirk. “I kind of have a weak spot for musicians.”
“Yeah, apparently,” Ben muttered with a roll of his eyes.
David blushed and watched as Ezra walked up to Ben and put his arm around his shoulders in a boyish manner, giving him a shake. Ezra turned and gave David a wink, before walking away with Ben around the corner of the building and disappearing. David took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his head spinning from everything that had just happened. Without waiting another minute, he turned and walked to his car, content on leaving before Hunter realized he was still there, just as Ben had suggested. He went home and waited for the moment Ezra would walk through the door, anxiety crashing over him in an uncontrollable manner at the fact that Ben had caught them making out and that they would no longer be able to continue to hide their relationship. He didn’t know when or how it would happen, but he was sure that Hunter would be finding out about them dating sooner or later. All he could hope was that they managed to make it later instead of sooner.
Author: shmorgenheigen
Chapter: Twenty Seven
Rating: R
Word Count: 10917
Summary: David Desrosiers is a seventeen year old boy when his father unexpectedly sells his family home, forcing him to move across town and switch schools for his senior year of high school. Having always been the victim of homophobic bullying, the idea of transferring to a new school for his final year isn’t all that uninviting, though when he runs into his toxic ex-boyfriend on his very first day, he suddenly finds himself yearning for the bullying of his old school, instead. David does his best to persevere in the face of an ex that he’s terrified of, intent on keeping his head down and making it through his final year in peace so he can move onto college and begin his adult life.
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, didn't happen!
Author's Note: This is an alternate universe story based off of Behind the Net, Behind the Net (Pierre’s POV), and Behind the Net: Across the Distance (A Sequel) where David never joins the hockey team, he and Pierre never become friends and start dating, and instead David is single when he comes across Hunter, Ezra, Noah, and Ben. I had so much fun when writing the sequel to Behind the Net with Hunter and Ezra and the boys, and Pierre was certain at various points during the sequel story David would have forgiven and dated Hunter if he had been single when he met Hunter again, and also that David and Ezra would have fallen for each other if Pierre had never been in the picture. Curiosity led me to thinking way too much about what David actually would have done in a scenario where he and Pierre had never fallen in love. Without dating Pierre and all of the growth and healing he did over the course of their relationship, David would have been a very different person and would have reacted very differently to meeting Hunter again. Before I knew it I got inspired and had to write it. Pierre makes a few guest appearances as a boy from the same small town, of course, but this is not a Pierre/David story, and I think it may actually be my favorite story I’ve ever written. If you give this a read, leave me a comment and let me know!
This story begins in the year 2015
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Over spring break David got to see very little of Ezra, and while normally he would have felt disappointed and sad, the bruises on his skin that Hunter had left made him feel unusually relieved at their distance. Because Ezra’s mom and dad both had to work like normal and school was out for both Ezra and Elias, Ezra had been forced to stay home all week with his brother to hang out with him. There were several evenings when Ezra had come over once his mom had gotten home from work, but David had managed to keep anything sexual from happening between them by telling the other boy that he wasn’t feeling well and was worried he was coming down with something. He felt awful lying to his boyfriend and continued to struggle with the decision he’d made to hide the truth from him over what Hunter had done to him the previous Saturday, but he was too terrified of what would happen if Ezra found out the truth and he continued to lie, despite how terrible it felt to do so.
A few days into the break David had formulated a plan, and though he wasn’t convinced it was a good one he couldn’t see another option for himself. He decided he was going to confront Hunter about what he’d done and try to threaten him into compliance. Was it going to work? He had no idea. Did he think he had any better ideas? At the moment he couldn’t see any. A few days into spring break, David called Hunter no matter how much he didn’t want to. It was no surprise to him when Hunter answered his call almost immediately, and the sound of his voice coming through the phone made his stomach ache.
“We need to talk,” David said, his voice stiff and unfriendly. “Are you home?”
“Yeah,” Hunter responded, his tone matching David’s perfectly.
“Are you alone?” David asked.
“Yeah,” Hunter responded again.
“I’m coming over,” David told him, and without waiting for a response he hung up. He tried not to think about the dangerous position he was putting himself in by going to Hunter’s house when he had just heard that no one else was there and forced himself to go over, knowing he needed to handle this as quickly and as quietly as possible if he was going to keep it off of Ezra’s radar and get Hunter’s behavior under control. When he was standing at the other boy’s front door, he took several seconds to try to compose himself and hide the fear he was feeling before knocking on the door. It didn’t take long before Hunter had answered and was standing in front of him, not moving to let him inside and not speaking a word of greeting.
David tried to ignore the way Hunter was looking at him with anger in his gray eyes still, as if David was somehow in the wrong. He stared up at Hunter, glaring at him hard and willing himself to sound bigger and tougher than he felt. “If you ever touch me or kiss me like that again, I’m telling everyone what you did,” he threatened.
“Oh, just get your boyfriend to come after me again,” Hunter retorted, clearly not remorseful for what he had done.
“Do you even care that you hurt me?” David asked, and when Hunter just continued to glare at him, he unzipped his hoodie and took it off, holding out both arms to display the bruises on his left upper arm and his right wrist that had spread out slightly in size and were a deep purple color. He saw as Hunter’s eyes looked at his skin and for the first time they registered regret. “I told you to stop, I told you you were hurting me and you didn’t listen or care at all,” he continued, before pulling his hoodie back on and zipping it up again.
“I’m sorry,” Hunter said, his voice sounding stiff and reluctant to say it at all.
“Where would that have stopped? If Pierre hadn’t-”
“Pierre?” Hunter asked, saying his name with an incredulous, mocking tone. “Your boyfriend’s name is Pierre?”
“Shut the fuck up!” David snapped at him uncharacteristically, beyond frustrated and tired of dealing with him. “I’m glad he happened to show up! Does it even register to you that you kissed me and I have a boyfriend?” he asked angrily.
Hunter ignored his question and shook his head, snidely spitting, “Didn’t see you going after such a basic looking dude, I figured if anything you were gonna start hooking up with Ezra behind my back.”
David stared at him, his mouth hanging open, before shaking his head and beginning to back away. “I’m done,” he said with a shrug. “I’m just done with you. I’m gonna go tell Ezra, Ben and Noah what you did on Saturday, and we’ll see how they feel about you then,” he said and he started to walk away, but within seconds Hunter had jogged out the door and stopped in front of him on the walkway, his hands held out.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, but David shook his head and looked away. “I’ll back off,” he added.
David gave a cynical laugh and looked at him again with angry wonder. “That’s what you say every time but you never actually do!”
“Hey, I’ve kept my hands to myself since I found out you had a boyfriend,” Hunter pointed out.
“Yeah, until you decided to grab me, refuse to let me go even though I told you you were hurting me, and kiss me,” David threw at him harshly.
“I’m sorry,” Hunter said again, sounding frustrated that David hadn’t just forgiven him right away.
“No you’re not!” David retorted. “If you were sorry you wouldn’t keep doing this to me!”
“I don’t mean to, I just lose control sometimes… I still love you. I’ve never stopped loving you,” he said, his voice becoming gentle, and as he did he took a step forward. David shook his head and stepped away from him, not taking his eyes off of Hunter even for a second. “I know if you just gave us another chance-”
“No,” David said firmly. “I’m with someone else now. I’m happy. He’s kind to me and gentle and if I don’t feel like having sex he doesn’t guilt trip me or try to take it from me. He doesn’t accuse me of not loving him. He doesn’t threaten to kill himself. He actually loves me and cares about me and respects me and wants to protect me. He’s never once hurt me. You don’t know what love is, all you know is obsession.” David and Hunter stared at each other for a long time, and for the moment Hunter seemed to be unable to try to defend himself. “I’ll let this go and pretend it never happened on the condition that you never touch me or kiss me again,” David said.
“David,” Hunter said as if he thought this was unreasonable.
“No, you don’t get to touch me or kiss me again ever. I don’t want it! Why is that not enough of a reason for you?” David asked him, shaking his head in disbelief. Hunter didn’t speak, though he looked like he wanted to. “You don’t have to agree, this is just what’s going to happen. I’m going to pretend this never happened so we can finish the school year peacefully. You’re going to respect that I’m with someone else and don’t want you to touch or kiss me. If you step over the line even one more time, I’m telling everyone what you did. I won’t hesitate. If you so much as make me uncomfortable I’m telling them everything, and if you think they’re not gonna have a problem with you forcing yourself on me, you don’t know your friends well enough.”
Hunter continued to stand and stare at David, not speaking, and David gave him one final glare before turning around and walking away. He headed straight to his car and got in, taking deep, steadying breaths as he turned the key, put on his seatbelt, and began to drive away without looking back. His eyes began to tear up and he felt panic beginning to well up inside of him but he shook his head and pushed it away, telling himself not to get emotional, not to let his fear of Hunter get the best of him. The threat of other people finding out about his bad behavior had worked on Hunter in the past and David comforted himself a little with the idea that it would work again. If it didn’t, he didn’t know what he was going to do.
Ezra came over to his house later that night and David snuggled with him on the couch, lying to him again and telling him he wasn’t feeling well. Ezra was sweet and simply cuddled with him, his fingers playing in his hair in an absentminded way that felt soothing. “I hope you feel better by Saturday so you can come to our show,” Ezra mused softly.
“I’m sure I will,” David reassured him, his voice quiet as he snuggled into Ezra’s neck to hide his face and the guilt he was feeling over his lie.
“I guess you picked a good time to be sick so you don’t have to miss a bunch of school,” Ezra continued. David nodded but didn’t respond, feeling too gross about lying to say anything else. He had forgotten that their band had a show that weekend and the idea of going to it was exciting, but he also felt apprehensive at the idea of seeing Hunter there and having to pretend like everything was normal.
The day of the show came and David found himself even more excited for this one than he had been for the last. He looked at himself in the mirror, feeling as he had last time that he was going to look out of place. He pulled the Pierce the Veil shirt Ezra had given to him at their last show from his drawer, which he had never given back at Ezra’s insistence that he keep it. He never wore this shirt because band tees weren’t his typical style and he worried about what Hunter would say or think, however he figured it would be safe enough to wear it to their show and he pulled it on before looking at himself in the mirror. Though Ezra was skinny, he was tall and his shoulders and chest were more broad than David’s were and his shirts were large on him because of it. David had tailored the shirt to fit him a couple of months previously, making the sleeves and length of the shirt shorter and removing a good amount of the fabric at the sides so that it fit his torso much more snugly. He paired the shirt with the only pair of ripped black skinny jeans that he had and liked the way he looked, though he still felt like he was trying on someone else’s style to dress this way.
He went to the bathroom and casually styled his hair, making it look just slightly messy in the right kind of way, and added some black pencil eyeliner to his upper waterline just under his eyelashes, making them look thicker and darker. He looked at his arm and then at his wrist, seeing that the bruises were almost completely gone in the week since he’d gotten them. There were just a handful of spots left that were a pale yellow color and he thought he could explain them away if they were seen as having bumped into something, but they were so faint in color on his pale skin that he doubted they would be noticeable unless he pointed them out. He contemplated throwing a hoodie on just to be safe, but he knew how hot he was going to get at the show and didn’t want the hassle of having to deal with the hoodie at that point, so he decided it would be fine to not bring one. When he was satisfied with his appearance he slipped on his pair of black vans, grabbed his keys and headed out.
As he walked down the driveway, he became aware of the mail truck driving away down the street. He glanced at his phone and saw that he was still plenty early so he jogged down to the mailbox and grabbed the mail, flipping through it as he walked back up the driveway, intent on throwing it inside the door. An envelope from the Fashion Institute of Technology caught his eye and stopped him in his tracks, his eyes widening as he registered what he was holding. He stared at it for a second, afraid to open it, afraid of what it was going to say, readying himself for a rejection that he had anticipated since he’d applied. He turned the envelope over in his shaking hands and opened it carefully, taking longer than he should to pull out the contents and look at them. The moment David realized that he was holding a catalog he knew what it meant and he hurried to unfold the letter, his eyes scanning the words on the page in a stupor as if none of it was real.
“I got in,” he whispered to himself, his eyes filling with tears as he stared at the paper in his hand. “Oh my god, I got in.” David looked up and around, wishing that there was someone around to share this moment with him, that he could run to his dad or his mom, yelling and waving the letter in the air. He wanted to hug someone and cry but he stood there alone and for a moment sadness settled over him, knowing that it would be a few more weeks until he could share this news with his dad, and knowing that he could never share it with his mom no matter how desperately he wished he could.
And then Ezra ran through his mind and for a moment David felt excited, wishing it was safe to call him and tell him on the spot but knowing he was likely already on the way to the venue and unsure if he would be with one of the other guys or if he would have driven by himself in his truck. As he thought of him, a new reality hit him like a ton of bricks, something he hadn’t thought about even once thus far having never anticipated that he would actually stand a chance of getting into FIT: This college was in New York City, and Ezra was not. He felt the joy that had so briefly exploded inside of him crash down around his feet, feeling as if a weight had dropped into his stomach at the realization of what this meant. He could go to New York despite the fact that Ezra wouldn’t be there, or he could turn down this incredible opportunity in order to stay with his boyfriend. In that moment, David’s mind stopped thinking, unable to cope with the dilemma before him. He didn't have it in him to weigh those options now or what either would mean and he went back into his house, tossed the mail on his desk in his bedroom, and left again, pushing the anxiety that had threatened to overwhelm him back down into his stomach and refusing to think about it.
David forced his mind to stay blank as he drove to the venue, allowing the music playing through the speakers to roll through his ears and keep him distracted. Occasionally his mind would wander back to the acceptance letter and his eyes would start to fill with tears and feelings of panic creeped up inside of him but each time this happened he quickly got control of himself and forced the thoughts away again.
He was parking before he’d even really registered that he got there and he headed straight to the back of the building, wanting to keep himself busy and to forget he’d even gotten the acceptance letter, at least for a little while. Just as he had suspected he would, he saw Hunter’s van and the four boys working together to unload their stuff and David wasted no time in approaching, greeting Noah, who had his arms full of cables. “Let me help,” David offered, and he took the cables from Noah which were heavier than he expected them to be but he leaned back a little and managed his way inside with them. The moment his eyes met Ezra’s he saw as Ezra’s face lit up and he couldn’t help but smile in return, his eyes on him in a way that he knew was more than friendly. When Hunter walked into his field of view, David looked down at the cables he was carrying for a distraction and walked up to the stage to set them down. Hunter stopped and looked at him but David turned quickly and walked off of the stage and back to the hallway, intent on avoiding a conversation with him.
“Hey,” Hunter’s voice came from behind. David turned and looked at him, discomfort immediately on his face. “I just wanted to actually say I’m sorry,” he continued, and this time David thought it sounded sincere. He took a step back and turned to face Hunter fully, his hand absentmindedly moving to grab his arm where Hunter had bruised him. “I was an ass when you talked to me before. I was too wrapped up in my own bullshit to hear what you were saying.”
David leaned away from him a little, feeling uncomfortable and not wanting to talk about this further. He knew what always happened when it seemed like he finally got through to Hunter, and the way he would respect David’s wishes for a few weeks before convincing himself again that David was still in love with him. Movement from the backdoor drew both of their attention and Noah and Ben walked through carrying a load of equipment. David and Hunter both stepped away, their backs hitting the opposite walls and giving the other boys nods as they passed. When they were out of ear shot, Hunter took a step forward again but David remained in place against the wall, nervously watching the other boy.
“I’m not looking for forgiveness, I just want you to know that I regret what I did last Saturday… way more than I could ever explain to you, and I’m really sorry,” Hunter said, his gray eyes sad. More movement from the backdoor told David that Ezra was walking through and he leaned further into the wall, turning to look at him with nervous eyes. Ezra looked between the two of them and immediately David’s body language and facial expression told him that something was happening. His eyes shot to Hunter who didn’t back away as Ezra approached the way he had for Ben and Noah. The two stared at each other hard, Ezra glaring at Hunter, silently threatening him and sending a very clear message not to try anything with David.
When Ezra’s feet slowed to an almost stop in front of Hunter, the two were so close that the amp Ezra carried brushed against Hunter’s body. David stepped forward and put his hands on Ezra’s back, pushing him to continue walking. He continued to walk with Ezra without a glance back at Hunter, pushing him forward, determined to avoid a fight between them even if Hunter wouldn’t like the way he’d touched Ezra or escaped his apology. He didn’t want to hear what Hunter had to say, or that for once he actually realized that he had done something wrong. It was far too late for that, and the only reason he’d said he would move on as if it hadn’t happened was to keep Ezra from knowing about it so that he didn’t hunt him down and try to beat the crap out of him. Of course David didn’t want the two to get into a fight, but there was also a large part of David that was scared for Ezra should something like that happen. Hunter was filled with a deep rage that Ezra didn’t have inside of him, and no matter how angry Ezra got David just couldn’t imagine that Hunter wouldn’t end up winning in a fight; he was ruthless in a way that David thought Ezra could never be.
“It’s not worth it,” David whispered once they were out of Hunter’s sight, and he took one handle of the amp from Ezra to help him carry it in order to have an excuse to keep walking with him. Ezra took a step to the side to allow the amp to come directly between them.
“What was he saying to you?” Ezra asked, though as he did Ben and Noah walked by and the two went silent until they were gone.
“It doesn’t matter. He’s not worth getting in a fight,” David replied in a hushed voice.
“He was making you uncomfortable,” Ezra pointed out, but David just shook his head at him.
“Please, for me, just forget it. Trust me when I say I have Hunter under control,” David practically begged.
Ezra and David both set the amp down on the stage and Ezra looked over at David, displeased but giving a nod. Without another word they walked out to the van again, though David could see the way Ezra and Hunter glared at each other as they passed again. After several more trips all of the equipment and instruments had been brought up to the stage and David stood down on the floor and watched as they got everything put together. He noticed an electric keyboard with a microphone attached and an acoustic guitar on stage that hadn’t been present at their last show and wondered about their presence. They did their various sound checks for the instruments and microphones, and David couldn’t help but notice that it was Ezra who grabbed and tuned the acoustic guitar, and Hunter who tested the sound levels of the keyboard. Were they going to play an acoustic song? Soon they were all hopping down off the stage and walking over to David. They bantered playfully with the exception of Ezra and Hunter who had resumed ignoring each other, and before long the sounds of other people could be heard filing in through the doors.
When the room had filled and it was time to get the show started, David stood at the front of the floor closest to the stage, positioning himself so he was closest to Ezra. Just the sight of him on stage with his guitar made David’s heart beat wildly and his stomach flutter. He had a fuzzy sensation coursing through his chest and limbs and he had to keep reminding himself to keep the desire off of his face and to look around at the other three on stage so it wouldn’t be incredibly obvious how much he wanted Ezra. He knew that Hunter would be watching him, that he would steal glances his way and try to sing to him, but already David could feel that he was going to struggle to keep his facial expression under control. Ezra looked down at him with a suggestive smirk and a raised eyebrow and David felt his entire body flush with heat, feeling powerless to how incredibly hot he found the other boy. Ezra’s smirk grew wider and David knew his desire was too legible on his face and in his body language, and he knew he was in trouble.
The moment they started playing it was like a wall of sound that coursed through his body. It was only David’s second time experiencing live music and he found it just as intoxicating as the first time had been, the novelty not worn off in the slightest of the way the drums thudded in his chest and the guitars made his limbs vibrate and the sounds of Hunter’s and Ezra’s voices gave him goosebumps and made his chest squeeze. It was an odd, almost giddy sensation, it made him want to move and sing and scream all at once and he gave into each sensation, allowing his body to move and his voice to cry out whenever his body demanded it. This time he had learned their music and could sing with them from the crowd, though he knew his voice couldn’t make the screaming noises that Hunter and Ezra could and instead just yelled the lyrics, all of which he had learned by heart over the several months since they’d last performed. His voice was completely drowned out by the speakers, so he knew it didn’t matter what he sounded like, anyway.
The first time Ezra looked down at him and saw David singing along with them, looking alive and grinning as they made eye contact, the pure joy he felt radiated out of every part of him. David knew they held their eye contact too long, knew that they were too obviously sharing a moment and flirting with each other, but he felt sucked into the moment with the other boy, like they were sharing a new connection that they hadn’t before. He could see how much it meant to Ezra in the other boy’s face and the way he played and sang with more enthusiasm, and suddenly David felt addicted to watching Ezra perform, like his life wouldn’t be the same without it, like he needed to experience it again and again. There was nothing else like it and he loved it so much more intensely than he could have anticipated. He had known that watching Ezra on stage now that they were together was going to be different, but he never could have guessed just how different it would be.
After entirely too long of this, David got control of himself and forced himself to look away, moving his eyes very purposefully to Noah instead of Hunter. He didn’t want it to look like he was seeing if Hunter had noticed, though he felt positive there was no way that Hunter hadn’t seen him and Ezra singing to each other. David just continued to sing, trying to show the same enthusiasm as he watched Noah, though he knew it lacked the same intensity and that there was nothing he could do about that. He couldn’t manufacture the intense connection that he and Ezra shared and show it to another person. What he shared with Ezra felt so real and natural that there was no way he would be able to fake it with someone else to cover their tracks. Still, he did his best to pretend that nothing had happened with Ezra and kept his eyes on Noah for a little bit before moving onto Hunter, as much as he didn’t want to.
When his eyes found Hunter, David was unsurprised to see the other boy was already looking at him. David thought the expression on his face was off but he ignored it and continued to sing, acting as if everything was entirely normal, not allowing his smile to falter or for any level of discomfort or panic to show on his face. Soon Hunter’s expression returned to normal and he smiled, filling David with relief that he had clearly moved on. He worried vaguely about what looking into Hunter’s eyes and singing his songs with him was going to do to the other boy and what kind of behavior he would display going forward as a result of it despite the conversation they’d just had days before, but he knew if he was going to keep suspicion off of him and Ezra he didn’t have a choice. He had to at least attempt to show Hunter the same attention that he had shown to Ezra, even if it wasn’t as intense and his eyes weren’t screaming how badly he wanted to see the other boy naked.
When the song ended David relaxed for a second, breathing harder than usual and sweating already. The room was hot and there were bodies all around him but for once being touched by strangers didn’t bother him, hardly even noticing their presence. He watched as Hunter spoke to the crowd, doing his frontman duties and getting the crowd excited for their show. He heard a shrill scream to the side of him that sounded familiar and he looked over, seeing the girl from the last show that had kissed Hunter, his former classmate who was strangely friendly with him despite the fact that they had never once spoken before in the years they had gone to school together. She noticed him looking and returned his gaze, smiling and waving once she realized it was him. David smiled and waved back, though the sound of Ezra’s voice joking in a playful way with Hunter surprised him and he looked quickly back up, watching in deep shock as Hunter and Ezra very naturally interacted as if nothing had ever happened and they still loved each other as best friends. After everything that had happened, the sight was nothing short of shocking.
Soon they started their next song and the crowd was wild again. It didn’t take long for a mosh pit to start and this time David willingly entered it, feeling that same, inexplicable, aggressive joy coursing through his body as he bounced and jumped and pushed along with a sea of bodies. David stayed in the mosh pit through the entirety of the song, not thinking of anything other than the urges of his body and the music in his ears. It was intoxicating and exhilarating and again he felt alive in a way that was foreign to him and that he couldn’t get enough of. Such an activity was entirely outside of his wheelhouse and usually he was fairly sensitive to pain and injury, but there was something about the mosh pit that subverted all of those usual instincts in him. Being pushed didn’t scare him, having a body crash into his didn’t hurt, and putting his hands on another person didn’t feel wrong. He couldn’t explain it even to himself, but he loved it wholeheartedly.
When the song ended, David stayed where he was standing instead of moving back to be directly in front of Ezra, knowing it would be best for him not to plant himself firmly in front of Ezra and stare at him the whole night no matter how much he wanted to do exactly that. The next song took off without silly banter in between and again the crowd was moving, though the mosh pit didn’t start right away. As he had with the first song, David took turns looking at each of the boys on stage and sang the song with them the whole time, showing his enthusiasm through his music without embarrassment or feeling self conscious. It didn’t take long before his former classmate was holding her hand up and this time Hunter reached down and grabbed her to pull her up on stage. David wondered if this was a regular thing at their shows or if she just felt emboldened because she had done it the last time. He smiled as he watched her lean into Hunter’s microphone and sing with him, Hunter standing on the other side so they shared it.
Hunter looked over at David, his expression changing to something that looked like contemplation. Then he looked back at the girl and gave her a nod and a suggestive smile and she wasted no time in kissing him again as she had done at the last show. This time, however, Hunter seemed less caught off guard having asked for it, and he kissed her back far more passionately than he had the last time. Ezra’s voice took over the song and the crowd screamed at the sight of Hunter grabbing her face and fully making out with her. David’s eyes widened as he watched them, kissing for longer than they did last time, actually using tongue this time. When they pulled apart the girl looked dazed and stared at Hunter for a few seconds before he gave her a wink and went back to singing. She jumped off the stage the same way that she had the last time and immediately Hunter’s eyes were on David again. The way he was looking at him told David that this kiss had been a calculated move to try to make him jealous, something which hadn’t worked even a little bit. He just cupped his hands around his mouth and screamed as if he’d loved the show just as much as the rest of the crowd, unwilling to give Hunter the emotion out of him that he had been looking for.
Around halfway through their set, Hunter and Ezra both set their electric guitars down off to the side and David watched as Ezra slung the acoustic guitar around his body and Hunter went to sit at the keyboard. Hunter leaned into the microphone and said, “We’re gonna slow it down for a second with an oldie but a goodie by Pierce the Veil.” He started to play notes on the keyboard, a soft, pretty tune that David recognized and found a little surprising. “This is Stay Away From My Friends, sing it if you know it,” he added, earning cheers from the crowd, and as he said the name of the song Hunter’s eyes looked over at David. David thought that Hunter had worked this into their set to send David a message, though when Ezra stepped up to his microphone and started to sing, the irritation David felt was immediately wiped away.
“Waking up your neighbors downstairs. I’ve been inside your bedroom a thousand years and as you tie me to your bed for good I say that I want you in the most unromantic ways,” Ezra sang, Hunter’s voice singing the melodies here and there. David found himself standing in front of Ezra again though he wasn’t consciously aware of moving to him, feeling as if the air in his lungs and his heart in his chest were slowing down. His voice was beautiful and hearing him singing the song as lead vocals instead of as backup vocals was an entirely new experience. Ben joined in on the drums as Ezra continued to sing, adding a new dimension to the song. “Louisiana, you’re torturing me with a beautiful face. Ana, come on, I thought we had a damn good thing. A penny in the couch and a diamond ring.”
And then Hunter and Ben both stopped playing and Ezra began to strum on his acoustic guitar, again changing the sound of the song and making Ezra’s voice stand out even more. “Baby, stay away from my friends ‘cause I need them to carry me when it’s over. I’ll count back from ten and you can listen to glass hearts shattering,” Ezra sang entirely on his own without any melody from Hunter. And then Hunter began to play again, Ben resumed drumming, and as one all four of them were playing. “I don’t know how you got into me down my throat and made a home in my veins. They used to be the rivers that would take us away. Now you only call me every Christmas and my birthday. I still can’t believe how you look next to me just like a strip club bedroom scene.”
Ezra’s voice jumped up an octave and he sang the chorus again, his eyes closing tight and his face contorting as if he was screaming, his voice holding the perfect sort of rasp as passion tainted his words. “Baby, stay away from my friends ‘cause I need them to carry me when it’s over! I’ll count back from ten and you can listen to something that you’ve never heard before!” David felt like the sound was alive inside of his body. It was intense and he couldn’t believe how incredibly high and powerfully Ezra could sing, the sound sending shivers down his spine and through his limbs and making him want to cry for a reason he couldn’t explain. Hunter sang soft vocals in the background, his voice sounding softer and less passionate than Ezra’s did but adding such a pretty effect.
When Ezra started to sing again, David didn’t know how it was possible but his voice was even more passionate and moving and David actually teared up a little, unable to take his eyes off of the boy in front of him, having been completely unaware that he had this inside of him. “But you don’t know what it’s like to wake up in the middle of the night scaring the thought of kissing razors. This blood evacuation is telling me to cave in. Stay away…” Ezra held out the last word for many long seconds, his voice never wavering, the note perfect and raspy and strong.
“Just stay away,” Ezra continued, and suddenly all of the instruments dropped off except for the piano as he finished, “From my friends.” His voice was soft again as he sang the last words of the song and his eyes opened, finding David finally and staring down at him with a dazed sort of look, like he was coming out of a trance. The piano continued for several more seconds before fading into the background. The audience began to scream and cheer and David was among them, his eyes still locked onto Ezra who was grinning down at him now. David couldn’t control the beaming smile on his face and the love for the other boy that was pouring from his eyes or the way he was certain he looked entirely head over heels infatuated with him. He didn’t care that Hunter was probably looking at him and hating the way they were looking at each other. In that moment, he was entirely helpless to what he was feeling.
The rest of the show passed by in a blur. David joined the mosh pit several more times and though he moved around depending on where the mosh pit formed, he always eventually found his way back to Ezra’s side of the stage, enjoying looking up at him and singing his songs with him. For the wildest second David saw himself jumping on stage with them and kissing Ezra in the same way that girl had kissed Hunter but he allowed the urge to pass with nothing more than a laugh, knowing it was ridiculous and would cause absolute chaos no matter how fun it was to think about. He worried less about how much he was looking at Ezra and how much Ezra was looking at him, loving the moments when Ezra sang and screamed instead of Hunter, loving the sound of his voice and the passion in his face. The expression he made when he screamed made David feel like he was on the verge of melting into a puddle of goo where he stood and he couldn’t control how badly he wanted to take him back to his house and be fucked by him. In that moment, he didn’t want Ezra to be gentle with him, he wanted him to grab him and throw him down and take him however he wanted to.
When the last song was over and they ended their set, David watched as the lights came back on and they began to tear down the set. David was breathing harder than usual and was covered in sweat but he didn’t care, feeling an adrenaline rush that he had only ever gotten from watching them play.
“Hey! You’re here again!” David heard behind him and he turned, seeing the girl that Hunter had just kissed. He felt bad that he didn’t remember her name, having never actually talked to her when they had gone to school together, even more so because she knew his name, but he didn’t feel he could ask at that point.
“Yeah, I’m here with them again,” David told her, pointing toward the boys on stage with his thumb in a nonchalant manner.
“It’s so crazy that you’re friends with them,” she said, sounding star struck.
“They’re just a bunch of high school kids like us,” he pointed out with a smile. “Really, they’re just totally normal, dumb boys,” he added, smiling wider. David was visited by the urge to tell her that Ezra was his boyfriend but he resisted it, knowing only bad things could come from saying this. Still, he wished he could.
She laughed at his comment and looked back up at them, and David could see the way she stared at Hunter with a dreamy look in her eyes. “He’s so fucking hot,” she muttered breathlessly.
David was visited by another urge, an urge to tell her to stay away from Hunter, to tell her that he was dangerous, that he had only kissed her like that to try to make him jealous, but again he held himself back. He didn’t think any good would come of it and knew that Hunter wasn’t actually interested in girls at all. He figured Hunter was no actual threat to her and allowed the desire to protect her from him to fade away, responding with a nod and a simple, “Yeah.” Despite how much he hated Hunter at that point, he knew it would be stupid to deny how physically attractive he was. Hunter may have been an obsessive monster, but he was a hot obsessive monster.
David noticed as Hunter looked over at him, seeming surprised to see him standing and talking to the girl he had just kissed. David smiled and gave him a wave, taking too much joy in displaying his complete lack of jealousy. Hunter simply gave him a nod and tossed him a water bottle, which David caught with both hands. Then, whether because he felt like he needed to address her since she was standing there or for some other reason, Hunter grabbed another water bottle and walked to the edge of the stage, staring the girl in the eyes with a charming smile and holding the bottle out to her. Her entire face lit up and she walked forward to grab it, giving him a breathy, “Thanks,” as she took it. Hunter winked at her again and David fought the urge to roll his eyes and pretend to gag, though he couldn’t hold back the tiny shake of his head he gave.
When she walked back over to David her eyes were wide and she gave a squeal through a tightly closed mouth as if she was trying with everything inside of her to hold it back but couldn’t quite manage to. David laughed a little and shook his head as he said, “He’s really just a normal guy.”
“Yeah but look at him,” she breathed, turning to look at him on stage again.
David gave another soft laugh followed by a quiet sigh and again he said, “Yeah.”
She looked back at him suddenly, a nervous expression on her face as she said, “You don’t… like him, do you?”
“No,” David responded quickly and seriously, his eyes widening and his head shaking. “Trust me, no. I have absolutely no interest in him whatsoever.”
“Is he dating anyone?” she asked, accepting David’s assurances without a second thought.
“Nope, totally single, not even hooking up with anyone,” David told her. Again, he wanted to tell her to stay away from Hunter but he knew it wasn’t a good idea. He suddenly wondered how far Hunter would be willing to take these stupid attempts to make him jealous but he reassured himself that Hunter identified as completely gay and wouldn’t possibly date or have sex with this girl just to make him jealous. At least, he hoped that he wouldn’t be that heartless.
She looked back at Hunter and replied with nothing more than a quiet, “Hmm.” She continued to hang out with David, even when the next band started. David wondered if she was hoping that she would get to interact more with Hunter by staying near him. Before long Hunter, Ezra, Noah and Ben were walking up to him and David gave them all a nod and a smile. David quickly realized that Hunter was willing to take it too far with this girl because he looked at David meaningfully before turning to her and smiling. David watched as Hunter leaned down to her ear and said something to her, and heard her yell back, “Emma!” over the music. Hunter said something else in her ear and her expression changed to one of excitement and intrigue.
David shook his head a little and took a few steps back so he was standing just in front of Ezra to his left, telling himself he couldn’t worry about what Hunter was doing and if he was going to hurt this girl - Emma, apparently - to try to get his attention, as bad as he felt for her. Seeing that Hunter was distracted with her and that Noah and Ben were both watching the band that was playing, David took a risk and reached behind him, grabbing Ezra’s pinky finger with his. He felt as Ezra moved to stand more squarely behind him, forcing David to drop his pinky. Instead he felt Ezra’s hand on his lower back, dipping under the hem of shirt a little, his fingertips ghosting along the waistband of his jeans and moving to grasp at his side. David’s cheeks flushed and he bit down on his lip. Seeing that everyone in front of them was still distracted he chanced a glance at Ezra over his shoulder, his eyes clouded with desire, and saw Ezra staring back at him with the same look on his face.
David looked forward again, and when he did he saw Hunter walking Emma over to the far wall. Once he had her against the wall, Hunter wasted no time in kissing her again. David shook his head again and looked forward toward Ben and Noah who were both watching Hunter and were also shaking their heads at him. It seemed they were just as aware of what Hunter was doing as he was. At least he’s distracted, I guess, David thought, though immediately he felt guilty over the thought because he knew that Emma was most definitely going to get her heart broken by him.
David was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt Ezra lean down to his ear, his hand gripping his hip as he said, “Meet me out back.”
David turned and looked at him, his eyes burning with desire, before turning forward again to hide the exchange that had just taken place between them. He waited a few minutes and when he turned around again Ezra was gone. David knew he couldn’t just disappear at the same time as Ezra without raising suspicion so he looked at his phone and then stepped up to Ben and Noah, speaking loudly enough to be heard over the music as he said, “Hey, I have to head out!”
“Already?” Ben yelled back, but David nodded. “Alright, see you later!”
David nodded and waved before turning to head for the front door. He knew they would need to see him leave through the front door if his excuse was going to be believable. Once he got outside, he walked around the side of the building to the back, smiling when he saw Ezra leaning against the building and waiting for him. David walked up and grabbed his shirt, unable to hold himself back as he started kissing him, but Ezra laughed against his lips and pushed him back a little. “Hold on,” Ezra said, smiling at the look of impatience on David’s face, before grabbing David’s hand and pulling him around to the other side of the building. As soon as they were several feet down, Ezra turned and grabbed onto David, pushing him against the wall and kissing him again.
David wrapped his arms around Ezra’s neck and pulled himself tight against his body, wanting to feel every part of him and unable to wait. He wished they were back at his house already, that he could tear off the other boy’s clothes and feel him inside of him. Ezra grabbed the backs of David’s thighs and lifted him up, holding him against the building with his body and bringing David’s legs around his hips. David moaned in his mouth and his body reacted to this move of its own accord, his knees bending and his legs wrapping around him as he kissed him more hungrily than he ever had before. He used his legs to pull Ezra in closer, feeling how hard he was against him and moaning again desperately as how badly he wanted him overwhelmed him completely, making him feel wild.
Ezra pulled back and kissed under his jaw, biting his skin, earning more moaning from David who leaned his head back against the wall with his eyes closed. Ezra continued to kiss and bite his neck, making David feel like he was going to explode. He tangled his fingers in Ezra’s hair and pulled, moaning out the words, “Fuck, you’re so hot.”
“Your house tonight?” Ezra asked against his neck.
“Yeah… I want you to throw me down and fuck me so hard I can’t walk straight,” David moaned, too turned on to be embarrassed at how dirty his words were. Ezra moaned against his neck at these words and found David’s lips again, his tongue massaging against David’s, his hands desperately moving under his shirt and pushing it up.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” Ben’s voice came suddenly, and the sound broke David and Ezra apart faster than they would have thought humanly possible. Within a second Ezra had dropped David back to the ground and the two had stepped apart, turning to stare at Ben with wide eyes and red faces. Ben walked closer to them, his face lit up with confusion, anger, and disappointment. “Hunter’s gonna kill you!” he continued, looking specifically at Ezra now.
“He doesn’t have to find out,” Ezra said urgently.
“You’re just gonna keep this a secret?!” Ben asked. He looked at David as if he was seeing him for the first time and David cowered back from him like a child scolded by a parent. “You have a boyfriend!” Ben threw at him.
“Uhh…” David replied sheepishly, before turning his head slowly and looking up at Ezra. He looked back at Ben, a guilty smile on his lips that was verging on a grimace.
Ben stared at him for a moment before it seemed to dawn on him and his jaw dropped, his eyes looking between the two of them. “EZRA is your boyfriend?!” When David gave a tiny nod, Ben slapped both hands over his face and muttered, “He’s gonna kill you.” Then he dropped his hands from his face and looked back and forth between David and Ezra again, comprehension in his eyes. “Wait, those hickeys?” he said questioningly, and Ezra bit his lips together, looking guilty. Ben’s eyes were back on David, accusatory and baffled. “You told us about that when we came back from winter break! This has been going on since JANUARY?!”
“November, actually…” Ezra admitted under his breath, looking down and away as he said it.
“NOVEM-” Ben started, but cut himself off in shock. “Holy fucking shit. Hunter is literally going to KILL you!”
“He doesn’t have to know!” Ezra argued. “He’s busy with that girl right now, anyway!”
“Oh come on, you know he’s just doing that to try to make David jealous,” Ben threw back at him.
“Maybe not, you never know,” Ezra tried hopefully, but Ben just stared at him, his face deadpan and clearly unamused.
Then, ignoring the comment about the girl entirely, Ben argued, “You can’t keep messing around behind his back forever! You know how he feels about David. And you!” Suddenly he turned his attention to David directly and David shrunk into himself again. “His BEST FRIEND?! Why did you have to go after his best friend of all people?!”
“He didn’t go after me, I went after him!” Ezra interjected angrily, drawing Ben’s eyes back to him with a look of surprise. “David said we couldn’t do it over and over, he’s the one that kept us apart because he didn’t want to hurt Hunter and ruin our friendship, even though Hunter’s done nothing but hurt him and disrespect him and treat him like shit! You have no idea what-”
“Ezra, don’t,” David cut him off, grabbing his arm and shaking his head.
Ezra let out a frustrated sigh and stared into David’s eyes, wanting Ben to understand all that Hunter had done, knowing his friend would be looking at them less accusingly if he knew, but he wanted to respect David’s wishes and the fact that those were his secrets to keep or tell.
“You have to stop or you have to tell him,” Ben said firmly, pulling their attention back to him.
“I can’t stop,” Ezra admitted, sounding sad and weak as he did.
“Then you have to tell him,” Ben said with a shrug.
“He’s moving to New York in a few months anyway,” Ezra pointed out. “What’s it’s gonna hurt to just let him move away and never find out?”
David’s face fell at these words, suddenly remembering the acceptance letter from FIT that he’d gotten that morning. He turned to look at Ezra, staring up at him sadly as he said, “I might be too…”
Ezra turned to look at him, Ben forgotten for the moment, his eyes showing hurt and confusion as he replied with a hesitant, “...What?”
“I got into that fashion school in New York… It’s the best one in the country. I just got the letter right before I left for the show,” David explained. Ezra stared down at him, his face registering devastation. “I didn’t have a chance to tell you yet…” When Ezra just continued to stare at him as if his world was crumbling under his feet, David grabbed his hand and whispered, “I don’t have to go.”
“Yes you do,” Ezra replied sadly, his voice devastatingly soft. David’s eyes filled with tears as he stared up at him, a moment of painful understanding passing between them that stole all words from either of them.
“You guys can’t keep this a secret from him,” Ben said, and suddenly they both remembered that he was standing there. “This is clearly not just a hookup thing,” he continued, motioning between them with a hand.
Ezra shook his head and looked down, giving a soft, “No, it was never just a hookup thing.”
“Fuck, man,” Ben muttered, shaking his head and turning around for a second. “I just snuck out here for a fucking cigarette and heard moaning and found you two practically banging against the wall,” he continued, sounding deeply frustrated.
“I’m sorry,” Ezra said quietly.
“You!” Ben said, turning and pointing at David with a look of total bewilderment. “You act all quiet and shy but Jesus Christ, hearing you say you want Ezra to throw you down and fuck you so hard you can’t walk straight...” David blushed hard and looked down, shrinking into himself in complete embarrassment.
“Okay, we don’t need a replay,” Ezra said quickly.
“It’s burned into my mind now,” Ben said dramatically. “It’s always the quiet ones,” he added, shaking his head slowly. “So wait… when I came out and yelled at you about sleeping on the couch with David, you were already…?” Ezra looked guilty and Ben had his answer. “I knew you were lying!” he said angrily.
“Hey! To be fair that was the first time anything actually happened,” Ezra defended himself. “I mean, we’d made out twice before but that was the first time something actually happened,” he added. David groaned and hid his face in his hands, wanting to turn invisible and never be seen again.
Ben’s eyes narrowed and he looked at Ezra with deep distrust. “What happened on the couch?” he asked slowly.
“We didn’t fuck if that’s what you’re thinking,” Ezra said.
“Ezra!” David said, dropping his hands and staring at the other boy, his face bright red.
“What? We didn’t!” Ezra responded, shrinking back a little. “We just sucked-” he started, but David threw his hands over Ezra’s mouth and stared at him with wide eyes, begging him to stop talking with his stare.
“We started dating the next day and we’ve been together ever since,” David admitted quickly, no longer trusting Ezra with providing any details, and looking back at Ben whose face had gone red at what Ezra had started to say.
“So this is like… actually serious,” Ben said uncomfortably. When they both just nodded at him, Ben sighed and looked up at the sky with a groan. “Why did it have to be me?” he asked rhetorically, though the next second he was looking back at them with a serious expression. “You’re lucky it was me and not Hunter or Noah. Hunter would have murdered you on the spot, and Noah can’t keep a secret to save his life.”
“So… you’re not gonna tell him?” David asked nervously.
“No, because you are,” Ben said firmly, before turning his gaze back to Ezra. “He hates you now anyway because he can see how into David you are. We’ve all been able to see it for months,” he threw at Ezra with a shake of his head. He looked back at David, adding, “I just didn’t think you’d actually do anything. We could all tell you liked Ezra but we didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to actually start hooking up with him.”
“Don’t fucking call him stupid,” Ezra said, taking a step toward Ben, who immediately puffed up in response, but David grabbed Ezra’s chest and held him back, Ezra responding to his touch despite the fact that he could have easily pulled out of it.
Ben ignored Ezra’s words and glared at him, saying, “You have to tell him and you know it.”
“How?” Ezra asked incredulously. “Should I just walk up to him and say, ‘Oh by the way, I’ve been dating your ex for the last four months’?”
“I don’t know, you’re gonna have to figure it out. You knew what it would mean when you started this, there’s no way you weren’t both aware,” Ben responded.
“Do you want me to do it?” David asked, turning to look at Ezra.
“No way, he’ll probably freak out and force himself on you again,” Ezra replied without hesitation.
“Ezra!” David scolded him, his voice hushed.
“I’m serious!” Ezra argued, feeling too serious about the threat of Hunter to care in that moment that David didn’t want him to say this in front of Ben. “He’s unstable and obsessed with you! He’s way too dangerous for you to be the one that tells him.”
“Dangerous?” Ben asked skeptically.
David looked at him and shook his head, holding up a hand as he said, “No.”
“Yes!” Ezra replied, not taking his eyes off of David for a second. “I’m not letting him hurt you again!”
“David, he’s hurt you before?” Ben asked, his voice heavy with concern.
David subconsciously grabbed his arm but shook his head, giving a firm, “No.”
“Yes! He has! And he’ll do it again!” Ezra argued, grabbing David’s arms and looking at him desperately. “What if it’s worse next time? I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since you told me, it eats me alive thinking about it and not being able to do something! I have to look at his stupid face every day and pretend that I don’t know he’s a fucking monster!”
“Ezra just STOP!” David yelled, overwhelmed with too many feelings to even process. He knew that his words were true and he felt them just as deeply. He was terrified to be around Hunter, especially after what he’d done to him just a week prior, but he also felt shame at having these secrets spilled to Ben, not wanting the other boy to know anything about any of it. He covered his face with his hands and leaned back against the building wall, slipping easily from Ezra’s grasp. He stood there in the silence that followed, breathing hard and willing himself not to cry in front of Ben.
“Look…” Ben started, and Ezra turned to look at him but David remained as he was, afraid that he was going to lose control of his emotions with Ben standing right there. “There’s clearly a lot going on here that I don’t know about, and honestly, I don’t know if I want to know about it but… I’m not gonna say anything. But you both know it’s wrong to keep hanging out with him every day while you’re together behind his back and he has no idea, even if you hate him now and aren’t even friends anymore. You know it’s wrong.”
“I’ll figure it out,” Ezra said quietly. “I’m not saying it’s gonna be tomorrow, but… I’ll do it.” Slowly David dropped his hands from his face and he looked at Ezra, his eyes wide and sad. “And you telling him is not an option,” he reiterated firmly. “I know you don’t want him to hurt me, but let’s face it, that’s gonna happen when he finds out no matter what. We’ve always known that. He’s gonna come after me, even if I’m not the one he hears it from, and he’s gonna try to hurt me. You can’t put yourself in his path when that happens.” David nodded and Ezra gave a sad sigh, stepping up to him and pulling him into his arms.
“This is too weird,” Ben said, turning around and shaking his head, though he quickly turned back around and looked at them seriously. “Okay, you need to get back inside before Hunter gets suspicious about why you’ve been gone so long,” he said, pointing at Ezra. “And you need to leave before he goes outside and sees your car is still here,” he added, redirecting to David.
David nodded and looked up at Ezra, smiling sadly. “You still coming over later?” he asked quietly.
“As soon as I can get away, I’m there,” Ezra responded, moving his hand to brush his thumb against David’s cheek.
“Okay, okay, enough with the love fest, let’s go,” Ben said, clapping at them like dogs to try to get them to break apart.
“You should turn around,” Ezra said bluntly. When Ben just stared impatiently at him, Ezra shrugged and turned back to David, not hesitating before pulling his face up and kissing him. He heard Ben groan and he couldn’t help but smile against David’s lips. He pulled back a little and pressed his forehead against David’s, whispering, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” David whispered back, his eyes still closed and his brow furrowed.
Ezra couldn’t help himself as he gave David another kiss before backing away from him. “Are you still gonna be all worked up when I get over there or do I need to bring my guitar?” he asked flirtatiously.
“Please bring your acoustic guitar,” David responded quickly, sounding desperate as he did and causing Ezra to smirk. “I kind of have a weak spot for musicians.”
“Yeah, apparently,” Ben muttered with a roll of his eyes.
David blushed and watched as Ezra walked up to Ben and put his arm around his shoulders in a boyish manner, giving him a shake. Ezra turned and gave David a wink, before walking away with Ben around the corner of the building and disappearing. David took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his head spinning from everything that had just happened. Without waiting another minute, he turned and walked to his car, content on leaving before Hunter realized he was still there, just as Ben had suggested. He went home and waited for the moment Ezra would walk through the door, anxiety crashing over him in an uncontrollable manner at the fact that Ben had caught them making out and that they would no longer be able to continue to hide their relationship. He didn’t know when or how it would happen, but he was sure that Hunter would be finding out about them dating sooner or later. All he could hope was that they managed to make it later instead of sooner.