I can't seem to reconcile all of the differences and miscalculations in my head.  I can't assess the situations and make informed decisions.  I simply stare at the numbers and wait for them to change.  Why is this ( Read more... )

I started the list before I chose a number ( Read more... )

The hypocrisy that surrounds me... I can't tell whether it amuses me or digs an uncomfortable home underneath the surface of my skin.  But, it doesn't matter, does it?  As long as the others get and have what they think they've always wanted, their support beams are forgotten.  So be it.  It is in my best interest to focus on my own affairs, as I ( Read more... )

Typing, rewording, deleting... Left with almost the same empty space with which I began.

Happy New Year, everyone.  May we all find what we are looking for.

When others' words capture me, I can't help but give credit where credit is due...

For hearing all my doubts so selectively and
For continuing my numbing love endlessly.
For helping you and myself: not even considering
For beating myself up and over functioning.

To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
No one's been crueler than I've been to me.

For letting ( Read more... )

You would think that, with all of the disarray and emotions flying around these days, I would be internally bombarded with the desire to write on a daily basis.  But what was it that pushed me to it this time?  The exciting fact that only about a week lies between me and the New Year.  Meaning a new link to appear in the annual archive.  It's way ( Read more... )

Temporaryism ( Read more... )

I almost feel guilty trying to "sum up" the last several months of my life, as though the little details don't matter (and oh, how they do...).  I am torn between not wanting to recall them and not wanting to lose them forever.  So here we go, trying to accomplish what has been damn near impossible for months now:  The right words.  And I don't ( Read more... )

Sometimes I do things publicly for my own internal amusement.  Surely I am not the only one ( Read more... )

It has been a while since I've assembled a list.  What better way to start a year and end a month?  I think fourteen would be appropriate considering the planning and organizational theme of things lately:

1.  The fact that I do not take the time and energy that I used to take for writing ever since that trip to Redington last year scares me.  I ( Read more... )