I don't understand why my feelings seem to be next in line these days. It seems there is always someone else to consider. I get that there are certain people (in this case, my sister) that are having a tough time but SO AM I. My life is not peachy fucking keen. I am not loving my life; I live in a shitty environment with shitty people, I'm doing ( Read more... )

I don't know why but I have been thinking a lot about the past. About how the last few years feels a lifetime away. I'm not even just talking about high school but college too. Thinking about how I used to see Kristen practically everyday over the summer before sophomore year. About Matt and how I was actually IN a relationship for once. About how ( Read more... )

Months have gone by but nothing seems to change. I was excited for Pittsburgh to be the change I needed. I hoped it would stir up those lost emotions I thought I simply misplaced. I am more convinced than ever that "misplaced" is the wrong term; the right word for my lost emotions is degenerated. Misplaced connotes that maybe they will be found one ( Read more... )

So, 2007 started out AMAZING. Everything was going well and I was really optimistic. Well, it went from amazing to bad to worse. I'm at the point right now that I don't care about anything and that scares me. I'm so apathetic about my jobs, my school work, my life. I think I have felt so many emotions in the last month and a half that I've ( Read more... )

First week of classes. Not so optimistic at the moment. I decided to choose some of the toughest classes offered for my last semester, why? I have no idea. We'll see how things go ( Read more... )

So far, 2007 has been a great year. Sure, we are only one week in but it's been a good seven days. People are starting to come back. Jacqui came back last night and Katie comes back tomorrow. Things are getting back to normal with school starting next week and RA training happening this week. The Eagles won against the Giants today so they're going ( Read more... )

Soooo I was definitely excited about New Years this time around. Last year sucked because Mikki ditched me. I ended up drinking two Sprite & Bacardi's alone and passed out at like 11:50. So this year it looked like it was going to be shitty since I'm in Tampa and NO ONE IS HERE. Well, Erik and Val decided to have some people over so I was thinking ( Read more... )

Look how far I've fallen ( Read more... )

Soooo yesterday was kind of depressing. My Christmas consisted of watching Love Actually, washing dishes, and cleaning my apartment. Got some phone calls from friends and family but I must admit, I was a bit jealous. Everyone calling and then saying, "Okay, gotta go be with the fam now!" I think sometimes people don't appreciate family until they ( Read more... )

So I spent some time reading some old things I've written on here and it's sad but I realize I'm in almost the exact same place. Granted, I've grown a lot since some of them and I've learned some lessons but the bulk of it remains the same. I'm still a confused girl attempting to pass herself off as a grown woman who is still afraid of love and ( Read more... )