Title: Three Parts Dead (No Precious Time Series, 21/28)
Author: The Time Being/SGAtlantisLight
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Genre: Smutty angst, H/C
Rating: NC-17 overall, though some chapters are lower
Author's Notes: Part of the
No Precious Time Series. Beta and encouragement from a lot of people, but especially
lapislaz,
mice1900, and
inkscribe.
Warnings can be found
here for those who can't read without them. These contain plot spoilers so do not read unless you can't live without knowing.
Disclaimer: I own them all! But, alas, not in this universe.
Previous chapter "To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead." - Bertrand Russell
Carson sat, hand curled into Rodney's, feeling how badly Rodney was shaking through their joined hands. He desperately wanted to stalk into the infirmary, scrub up and go into surgery. It was one thing to trust your people. It was another to sit back in a crisis and let them work.
But he knew he'd be next to useless. His hands were shaking as well, in counterpoint to Rodney's. He remembered an article he'd read about someone using sound waves that were in opposition to another sound to cancel it out. He wished that worked with fear-- his trembling canceling out Rodney's to leave them in blissful emotional silence.
He didn't know how long it had been, but could make a guess based on the pain flowing through his limbs. He and Rodney had slipped out to make love while the jury-- or whatever they were called at a court martial-- had deliberated. They'd come back all of five minutes before the jury. He was guessing it had been three to three and a half hours since then. It hadn't been that long to read the verdict, for the judge to determine sentence, for all hell to break loose. John had been in surgery for the rest of it.
Across from them, Ronon stood and started pacing again. Teyla watched her teammate with worried eyes, remaining as silent as the rest of them. Elizabeth was curled into a chair, dressed in scrubs because she hadn't wanted to return to her quarters to change out of her blood-soaked clothes. The chair next to the door stood empty, but Carson was certain it still bore some warmth from where Radek had sat until some emergency had called him away, assuring Rodney he'd take care of it. Next to it, Veza sat. She'd taken Nikal's place, who had replaced Ri.
The door to the waiting area opened and he looked up to see Kate Heightmeyer enter carrying a tray heaped with sandwiches and other food. "I know none of you feel like eating," the psychiatrist started, "but you all need to. Especially Rodney."
Rodney looked up, blinking. "Huh. Oh. I really don't--."
Ronon turned, picked up a sandwich and thrust it at Rodney. "Eat, McKay."
"Um. Right."
Carson accepted his own sandwich and ate, too worried to even taste it, and watched as Rodney choked his down. Ronon ate while still pacing. Teyla took some fruit slices rather than a sandwich and picked her way through them. Elizabeth sat, staring into space, her sandwich untouched in her hand. Veza declined, saying she had eaten earlier.
Kate excused herself, leaving the tray. Carson knew life on Atlantis went on, but it was hard to wrap his mind around the fact that Kate had appointments to keep, that there were still experiments and city maintenance being done requiring someone's supervision.
He sat, ignoring the fire in his body, till he could stand it no more. He stood, giving Rodney a significant look. "I need to go for a few minutes. Did you want to come, love?"
Rodney looked puzzled for a moment, then his expression cleared. "Oh. I'll-I'll come, of course."
"You don't have to," Carson said.
"It's okay. I'm sure it won't take long."
They hurried out. The infirmary was quite near a transporter. So was their flat. It was no time at all before they arrived, Rodney already sliding to his knees before the door even swished shut.
***
Rodney moaned as his mouth was flooded with Carson's come. He swallowed the musky fluid, lapping at Carson's softening member until his lover pulled away.
"Thank you, love," Carson whispered, fingers tracing Rodney's lips. "Can I return the favour?"
Rodney shook his head, standing. "I want to get back to the infirmary, in case there's word."
Carson nodded. "All right." He leaned forward and kissed Rodney, tongue slipping in to taste his own flavour in Rodney's mouth. He broke the kiss with a sigh. "Later, I just want to hold you and pleasure you if you want."
"Mmm. Sounds good." Rodney kissed him back. "But later. Let's go."
They arrived back to the infirmary much as they'd left it. No one commented on their absence, though Rodney noticed Teyla watching them, concern in her eyes. He looked away and returned to the seat he'd abandoned not long before.
They had barely sat down when the doors into the infirmary proper opened and Dr. Cortes stepped out. She wasted no time. "He's in recovery."
"How is he?" Carson asked.
"He took two bullets to the chest. One nicked the aorta. The other lodged in his lung and caused a pneumothorax. He's going to be here a while."
"Can we see him?" Ronon asked.
Cortes hesitated. "He's still unconscious and I'd rather not have half the city crammed into his room."
"Then we shall take turns," Teyla said, decisively.
Cortes smiled gently. "Two at a time, please. The rest are welcome to wait here."
***
He was in pain.
John was used to pain by now-- fire crawling through his body, agony flickering through his head, muscles protesting from too-desperate joinings. This was different, heavy, hot, breath-stealing.
He was floating.
The world was muffled, distant. It reminded him of the week after his wisdom teeth were pulled. The pain was sapping his breath and he didn't care.
"Sheppard."
He blinked and smiled at Ronon and Teyla, then closed his eyes and drifted off.
Someone was brushing the hair back from his face. When he opened his eyes, Elizabeth was there. He couldn't find his breath, so merely raised his eyebrows.
"I'm fine, John. Thank you."
He relaxed, letting the darkness take him.
***
They settled into the chairs at John's bedside. Carson reached out to curl fingers around John's wrist, noting the steady throb beneath his fingers. He set John's hand down, but covered it with his own, needing that contact.
He looked over and saw Rodney studying John. An IV line ran into his left arm, a nasal cannula under his nose, monitor lines disappearing, chest tube outlined against his scrubs. John's face was pale, dark circles under his eyes, his bones too-visible under his skin. Rodney settled into the chair next to Carson's and reached out, almost tentatively, to lay a hand on John's leg.
"He looks so... small," Rodney whispered.
"I know." Carson reached out and took Rodney's other hand. "It's so hard to see those you love hurt."
"Yeah."
Carson felt a small movement under his hand and then John let out a small gasp. "John?"
John's eyes blinked open. "Wha' hap'n'?"
"You were shot. Do you remember?" Carson asked.
John's eyes got distant and then he slowly nodded. "'Lizb'th?"
"She's fine," Rodney answered. "She talked to you earlier."
John looked confused.
"It's all right," Carson assured him. "It's fairly common to not remember everything that's happened when coming out of anesthesia and under painkillers. How are you feeling?"
"Dry."
"I'll get you some ice chips. Hold on." Carson released John's hand, surprised to realise he was still holding it, and stood. He headed out to the main infirmary and told Cortes that John was awake again and got a small cup of ice.
He returned to John's room and paused in the doorway, watching as Rodney's hand gently stroked John's leg, John's breath matching his rhythm. "You scared the shit out of us," Rodney was saying, his eyes fastened on John's face. "You resigned, remember? You don't have to throw yourself in the line of fire anymore."
John's lips quirked into the tiniest of smiles, his eyes meeting Rodney's. "S'rry."
Carson walked in and took his seat back. "All right. Let's see if this helps."
He slowly fed John a few ice chips until John laid back, his eyes closing in exhaustion. Carson patted his hand and John turned his and intertwined their fingers. Carson looked over at Rodney, who was staring at their joined hands in shock, something like hope dawning in his eyes. "Um. Does this mean...?" Rodney asked.
"Yeah," John said, giving a tiny nod, eyes shifting between them. "If you're still interested."
"Well, duh!" Rodney answered.
Carson couldn't help but chuckle and then leaned over and kissed the corner of John's mouth. "Aye, love, we're both still interested."
John smiled. "Good." He shifted uncomfortably and then gasped in pain. "Unfortunately, even with the good drugs, I think I'm going to need something soon and I suspect it's going to hurt like hell."
"You're probably right," Carson answered, squeezing John's hand. "Let me think about it and see what we can come up with."
***
"I can't believe you're sharing details of our sex life with your staff," Rodney griped.
Carson shook his head as he shut the door. "Doctor Cortes needed to know not to come barrelling in here if John's heart rate and breathing went up. I'm sorry that offends you, love, but this isn't exactly a normal situation."
Rodney sat on the end of John's bed, reaching out to run a hand along his leg. "Doesn't look like this arrangement is cutting me a break, either."
"You don't have to do it if it's such a chore," John murmured from the bed.
"It's not a chore. I never said that," Rodney protested.
Carson chuckled, tapping commands into the machine hooked up to the IV line.
"What are you doing?" Rodney asked.
"Upping his morphine dose a wee bit."
"But he's not doing anything."
"Aye. And you try to have an orgasm without any of your muscles tensing or breathing hard."
"Oh."
"There. You should be feeling that soon, John." Carson walked to the other side, where he had better access to John without tangling in the various lines running to and from John's body and pulled the chair up close, settling onto the front edge of it and leaning forward to cover John's lips with his own.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Rodney's hand slide upward on John's leg until he was tracing the outline of John's cock and balls through the thin scrubs. John moaned, body starting to strain upward, and then he broke off the kiss to gasp in pain.
"Relax, John. Let Rodney pleasure you. Don't thrust. Just accept it."
"Yeah. Kinda figured that out."
Carson returned to kissing, slipping his tongue into John's mouth, tasting his new lover for the first time, feeling the softness of lips, the roughness of John's tongue, the slick surface of his teeth. He glanced down John's body a few times to watch
"Help me get his pants down," Rodney said.
Carson nodded and stepped down closer, slipping his hands under John. "Don't help, John," he instructed. "Let me support you." He lifted John up as Rodney pulled at the waist of John's scrubs until they were mid-thigh and then gently let him back down. He returned to his seat and combed a hand through John's hair. "All right, John. Remember, no thrusting. And no trying to hold off your orgasm either."
"Yeah. I-- Oh. Oh, God!"
Carson turned and saw Rodney slowly taking John into his mouth. Carson forgot to breathe for a moment, his cock going from semi-hard to granite at the sight of Rodney's lips stretched around John's cock. "Oh... so beautiful," he murmured, slipping a hand down to pet through Rodney's hair as Rodney's head began to bob.
John whimpered, obviously fighting the urge to thrust and Carson began slowly caressing his side, gentling him, as he kissed, his tongue taking up Rodney's rhythm. John made the most incredible noises. Whines and moans and pants and gasps and incoherent phrases poured from him into Carson's mouth and skin until John went rigid, his eyes full of pain even as he came.
***
John was flying on the wave of pleasure and pain washing through his body, obliterating all other sensation, all thought, as the world whited out. He came to, seconds, an eternity, later to Carson pressing trembling kisses to his lips, cheeks, eyes, forehead, hand petting through his hair, as Rodney kissed his hip and then carefully pulled his boxers and scrubs back up.
Carson was shuddering, panting, trying to swallow little whines of need as he sat back to look at John's face. "Are ye all right?" he asked, brogue thicker than normal.
John smiled, curling a hand around Carson's arm. "Yeah." Right now the rush of endorphins and adrenaline had him awake and mostly unaware of the pain of his injuries, but he was glad the morphine was dripping steadily into him because without it, coming down was going to hurt like hell. "But you're not."
It wasn't a difficult observation. Carson's eyes were wide and dark, his nostrils flared, taking in the scent of them, his face flushed, his breathing hard. John knew the state intimately. He'd been there. He'd seen the look in the faces of his fellow former slaves.
Carson slipped his hand into John's, shaking now, swallowing hard. "Rodney..." he gasped, flailing his other hand in that direction.
He could feel Rodney slip off the bed, hand still on John's leg as he stepped around to the side. "It's okay. I'm here," Rodney spoke reassuringly to Carson. John had never heard his voice so gentle.
John was fading fast, the rush of adrenaline ebbing and the morphine taking hold. He closed his eyes, feeling their hands on him, connecting them all, and listened as his two new lovers kissed.
***
Carson broke the kiss, panting hard, dropping his head onto Rodney's shoulder. "Need you now."
"I know," Rodney said, reluctantly pulling his hand from John to undo his fly, pushing his pants and boxers down.
Carson was undoing his own fly, breathing rapidly. He turned Rodney, hand on his shoulder pushing him to bend over. Rodney looked down to see John's eyes blinking open, a loopy grin spreading across his face. Rodney leaned down and kissed him and John made a little hmmming noise and slipped his hand into Rodney's hair.
He heard the click of a cap and then the slick sounds of Carson spreading lube over his cock before Carson leaned forward, one hand curling around Rodney's hip while the other teased around his entrance, spreading slick, and then pushing two fingers into him at once, scissoring him open. Carson nipped at his shoulder, nuzzling at his neck and then slowly kissing and licking his way up to where John's fingers curled at the nape of his neck.
"Now?" Carson gasped, desperate.
Rodney braced himself on the bed railing, giving John an apologetic look for not being able to continue kissing. The angle was, unfortunately, impossible if Rodney wanted to keep from falling on top of John. "Yeah, yeah, I'm good."
Carson didn't wait for Rodney to finish his sentence before he was lining up and pushing in, huge and hard and Rodney groaned and shuddered at the burn as he was stretched open around Carson's cock. Carson's tongue lapped at the nape of his neck, slipping around John's fingers, tasting them both at once.
"God!" John gasped, shuddering.
I just sucked John off while Carson watched, Rodney thought in shock. And now Carson's fucking me while John watches. It was insane. Carson held his hips still and began thrusting into him, hard and deep, rhythm already desperate, and Rodney knew Carson wasn't going to last long, but neither was he, even without touching his cock.
He felt John shifting his hand and heard the sound of sucking and could imagine Carson sucking John's fingers as he fucked Rodney. And then John was pulling his hand back, fingers slick with saliva, and dropped it to the bed, slipping it through the railing to teasingly stroke Rodney's cock. Rodney dropped his chin to his chest to watch John trace a lazy, shiny path from root to tip, where his finger gathered the precome at the slit. John pulled his hand back and slipped the finger, slick with Carson's saliva and Rodney's precome, into his mouth, sucking it clean.
Rodney gasped, feeling the heat pooling in his belly grow hotter at the sight. John grinned lazily and slipped his hand back through the railing to slowly trace Rodney's cock, eyes blinking sleepily as he watched.
"Is his hand on your cock?" Carson growled into Rodney's ear.
"Yeah," Rodney answered and shuddered as Carson reacted by shoving in harder, once, twice, and then Carson was coming, throbbing inside him.
The flick of John's thumb across the head of Rodney's cock was too much and he began spilling over John's hand while Carson filled him. As he hung there, trying not to collapse in weak-kneed shock while Carson carefully withdrew, John pulled his hand back and licked it clean, eyes closed, hotter than any man laying a hospital bed ever had the right to be.
Carson turned Rodney to the side and kissed him, hand closing around the one hand Rodney still had gripping the bed rail. They smiled at each other and turned to John as his hand covered theirs, but John's eyes were closed and soon his breathing had slowed into the rhythm of sleep.
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