Re: Hamster Wheel
anonymous
October 24 2010, 21:53:08 UTC
Damn. Seconding everything others said about how hot this is and how well it portrays the way arousal builds on itself (which can be true of non-kinky arousal too imo, but this depiction of shame/arousal spiraling higher and higher really captures it
( ... )
Merry Go Round Broke Down 8
anonymous
February 3 2011, 23:04:34 UTC
He doesn't have a chance to wonder long; Rodney ushers him out. "Here, take your crappy beer," Rodney gives back the last two cans of the six-pack, dangling from the plastic rings. "And your stupid magazine," and with that, he pushes John out the door
( ... )
Re: Merry Go Round Broke Down 8auburnnothennaFebruary 4 2011, 00:17:20 UTC
Damn it, I'm still holding out and hoping for some kind of happy resolution to this, but I'm way impressed by this examination of how even something that's good and wanted on the face of it has all these rippling consequences, not all of them that great. I remain convinced John is better off now, because before it endangered him in too many ways, but it's sad that he's lost something. It's like all those fairy tales; getting what you think you want or have to have always comes with a steep price and the lost of something else that mattered.
Also, he and Rodney really, really need to talk beyond Rodney's allusion to not drawing back the curtain.
Re: Merry Go Round Broke Down 8
anonymous
February 5 2011, 14:04:57 UTC
Thanks for following along. I think John's better off now than he was before, but his head hasn't stopped being a scary place. I'm trying to believably show him work through some of the issues that caused his kink to get so all-consuming in the first place, but writing John Sheppard being introspective... tricky even without this particular John's hot mess of a head.
Re: Merry Go Round Broke Down 8
anonymous
February 5 2011, 04:26:41 UTC
Loving this so far! I really like how John's almost having to relearn sex again, because without being crazy turned on, he has to pay attention. Which may not make for the best orgasms ever, but it's good that he's starting to think about what their encounters meant for Rodney, not just himself.
Merry Go Round Broke Down 9
anonymous
February 5 2011, 13:57:33 UTC
John's always thought he could get used to anything. He adapted from stifling wealth to scraping by when he defied his father's plans for his future; he adapted to the extremes of Afghanistan and Antarctica.
And he gets used to this: to never really getting excited, to sex that leaves him feeling about the way he'd feel after a really good workout.
After all, he likes that post-workout feeling a lot. He'd train every day even if lives didn't depend on it. If that's as good as sex is ever going to get now, that's okay.
Usually it's okay. It's mostly okay.
Fuck, it's not really okay. He misses it. He misses giving himself over to the mess in his head. He misses the purity of oblivion. He misses not thinking. He misses how it wiped out everything else, how nothing else mattered, even though that was part of what was so fucked up about it, how he needed it so much it took over, leaked out and tainted other things in his life, no matter how hard he tried to contain it
( ... )
Merry Go Round Broke Down 10
anonymous
February 5 2011, 14:26:15 UTC
After all, John stopped the risky offworld visits. Thinking back on it, the truth is, he did that three times. The third time he cut it short because he was uneasy about Atlantis. John returned not long before long-range scanners detected two Wraith cruisers, and a few hours after that, they got word that there was a bomb hooked up to the ZPM
( ... )
Merry Go Round Broke Down 11
anonymous
February 7 2011, 11:59:59 UTC
They've discovered John's body responds to Rodney's tongue and teeth working on his ears, his nipples, and his fingertips, and to the right kind of stimulation on the soles of his feet. His neck and, oddly, the backs of his knees are erogenous to a certain degree too
( ... )
Merry Go Round Broke Down 12
anonymous
February 7 2011, 12:01:16 UTC
Rodney stuffs his hand down to touch himself while John tongue-fucks him. John slides his hand there too, so he can feel Rodney stroking himself, angles his arm higher and cups his palm around the head of Rodney's dick. Rodney chokes out his name and John gets a fistful of come
( ... )
Merry Go Round Broke Down 13
anonymous
February 8 2011, 01:22:22 UTC
In the months since John lost his mojo, life's just kept going on. Fighting Wraith, finding allies, looking for ZPMs and Ancient tech, hi ho, hi ho. Practically as soon as Torren's steady on his feet, Kanaan and Ronon are taking him out to teach him tracking basics, and Teyla enlists John to help her make a tiny set of starter bantos rods for the little guy's next nameday.
She has him hold one of the rods steady while she carefully paints the bands of dye around the handles, and once he's trapped, she says, "Are you well, John?"
"Doin' great," he answers.
"You seem subdued lately."
"You call taking down two cruisers and a hive ship 'subdued'?"
"Our missions have not been affected, of course," she says. "But here in the city, you seem to have something on your mind. If there were anything you... meant to say
( ... )
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ding ding ding!! That, right there, is the "turn", the spot where what looked like one thing is revealed to be a lot more.
(I'm leaving myself loggin in, if that's ok, so I can find out if I get replied to. If LJ bothers to send notifications, that is.)
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Also, he and Rodney really, really need to talk beyond Rodney's allusion to not drawing back the curtain.
Looking forward to more if it comes.
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And he gets used to this: to never really getting excited, to sex that leaves him feeling about the way he'd feel after a really good workout.
After all, he likes that post-workout feeling a lot. He'd train every day even if lives didn't depend on it. If that's as good as sex is ever going to get now, that's okay.
Usually it's okay. It's mostly okay.
Fuck, it's not really okay. He misses it. He misses giving himself over to the mess in his head. He misses the purity of oblivion. He misses not thinking. He misses how it wiped out everything else, how nothing else mattered, even though that was part of what was so fucked up about it, how he needed it so much it took over, leaked out and tainted other things in his life, no matter how hard he tried to contain it ( ... )
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-Auburn
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She has him hold one of the rods steady while she carefully paints the bands of dye around the handles, and once he's trapped, she says, "Are you well, John?"
"Doin' great," he answers.
"You seem subdued lately."
"You call taking down two cruisers and a hive ship 'subdued'?"
"Our missions have not been affected, of course," she says. "But here in the city, you seem to have something on your mind. If there were anything you... meant to say ( ... )
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