3 Months...

[sessys_fangirl]

...Have come and gone already since I found out about my miscarriage. And I tell you the pain hasn't gotten any better. Still before going to bed at night I still cry my eyes out. Not just a few pity tears, great big ones that rack my body and make it impossible for me to sleep at night. It took two sleep aids to get me to relax and go to bed

Comments

[ginevrasm]

All those things that seem out of reach right now will come back eventually. How long just depends on how long it takes you to deal with it

[sessys_fangirl]

Thanks I needed to hear that from someone who did even if it isn't face to face.

I'm not sure how long it will be. I tend to hold on to the things that hurt me the most. Its something I've done all my life and I wish I could let it go now. But I can't. And it just hurts so damn much. I guess I was lucky. I was able to give Daniel the respect he deserved in death. The OB gave me the choice of burying him myself or letting the hospital take care of him. I was horrified that they offered something like that. All I could think of was that they were going to use him in some medical class, cutting him open and closing him again over and over until he had served their purpose and being Catholic that wasn't even an option. Though I don't know the ins and outs of something like that I couldn't imagine something like that.

What gets me even more upset is that he's in that cold ground all by himself right now. And even though he surrounded by other family members on his father's side, I'm not there to keep him warm like I should be right now.