Comments | seraphtrevs: FIC: If You Were the Last Man on Earth: Book One (4/4)

seraphtrevs

FIC: If You Were the Last Man on Earth: Book One (4/4)

Oct 18, 2008 11:25

Title: If You Were the Last Man on Earth
Book One: Winter (4/4)
Author: seraphtrevs
Pairing: Mohinder/Sylar
Rating: R
Word count: This part: 2,294
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit made, etc.
Spoiler alert: up through the end of season 2
Summary: AU - It's been a year and a half since the Shanti virus dropped and devastated the planet. After refusing to ( Read more... )

my fic, fic: if you were the last man on earth, mylar

Comments 43

Aww... ml17 October 18 2008, 19:41:00 UTC

I have to wait until Wednesday to read the rest? Talk about a cliff-hanger! But the teaser from Book Two was great. Those books sound scary, though. I can't believe they are actually on the shelves.

Re: Aww... seraphtrevs October 18 2008, 20:14:40 UTC

Thanks! And I know, I know - I'm a terrible tease. :P

vejiicakes October 18 2008, 20:01:29 UTC

I just broke up into hysterical giggles at Sylar's relationship book section. From the thoroughly cheesy to the thoroughly tacky (I'm just trying to envision what was going through Sylar's mind when he picked up any manual/guide that ended in "Honey"..) to the OMG GAY KAMA SUTRA. Oh, Mohinder. Oh, Sylar XD

I love how prickly Mohinder is being (which he has every reason to be, of course), and how his resistance to this entire scenario is manifesting itself. From the active and conceptual (the survival books) to the downright petty (HAW HAW, I HAVE VOMIT-MOUTH). For some reason, the little flower makes me very hopeful. I don't even know for what.

I really like your writing style! It's very comfortable to read and the narrative variations between quiet, introspective moments and humor have a pleasant..whatsit to the rhythm of the writing. I don't know where that comment was going. But IN CONCLUSION YOU RITE GUD, and I look forward to every new installment in the days before Wed/Sat ^_^

A very dim lightbulb went off over ( ... )

seraphtrevs October 18 2008, 20:28:50 UTC

Thank you! :D

I just broke up into hysterical giggles at Sylar's relationship book section.

Hee, I was giggling while I was writing it. :D I can just imagine Sylar being all "Hmm, I've never had a relationship - I know! I'll learn it like how I learned to build a greenhouse - with manuals full of expert advice! Mohinder is as good as mine!"

For some reason, the little flower makes me very hopeful. I don't even know for what.

Awww, I'm glad! This was kind of a downer of a chapter in some ways - but Mohinder's will has not been vanquished! \o/

I really like your writing style! It's very comfortable to read and the narrative variations between quiet, introspective moments and humor have a pleasant..whatsit to the rhythm of the writing.

:DDDDDDDDD Yay! That's been my biggest challenge, so it's awesome to hear it flows well!

*snigger* I actually sat back and did a slow, dry clap for the man. You're so smart, Mohinder. SO SMART.

Ahahahaha, yes - Mohinder r very smrt because of his many learnings. Poor Mohinder. XD

angary October 18 2008, 21:00:49 UTC

Wow. This part is just as awesome as the previous ones. What I really like about this section is how it's based around Mohinder's "recovery", and that we get to see him getting better and better, but still maintaining his stubborn goals and desires. I think it's great that he's not giving up on wanting to take Sylar's abilities away, and that the development of his relationship with Sylar is consistently rocky, at best.

Yet, the humor is still good in this part, especially regarding Sylar's collection of romantic self-help books (LOL HE HAS THE GAY KARMA SUTRA) and how snarky Mohinder still is. You've achieved a great balance between the amusing moments and the deep, introspective ones, which I really like.

This line was one of the most striking ones to me:

Mohinder sat down at the table and pulled out a bottle of curry powder. “Oh,” he said. He shut his eyes and thought about how Molly used to crawl into bed with him, shaking and sobbing and begging Mohinder not to let the boogieman kill her.It's so heartbreaking, yet I love ( ... )

seraphtrevs October 19 2008, 00:22:28 UTC

Thank you!

What I really like about this section is how it's based around Mohinder's "recovery", and that we get to see him getting better and better, but still maintaining his stubborn goals and desires.

YES, this, exactly. Mohinder is, more than anything IMO, tenacious, so it's going to be a long road for these two.

You've achieved a great balance between the amusing moments and the deep, introspective ones, which I really like.

Yay! Always good to hear. :D

It's so heartbreaking, yet I love how you included this little moment because it serves as a reminder of how horrible Sylar was, and that his attempt to be a kinder, more caring Sylar isn't going to convince Mohinder as quickly as Sylar would like.

Yes, exactly - he's being such a sweetheart here that I thought it was important to include a reminder that he's, well, a psychopath who has done some very, very bad things.

How could I almost forget about the flower?! It's another thing I love about this section, and I think that the ending is great because it exudes a ( ... )

samosar October 18 2008, 21:39:04 UTC

That was just hilarious, I don't know how I'll make it to Wednesday!

LOL at Sylar's book collection! I can just picture him hunched in a chair reading them, serious expression on his face and everything. I can't believe they actually exist (GAY KAMA SUTRA? Really??) XD

I love Mohinder in this, he's so...him (sorry, couldn't come up with anything better than that). And of course, Sylar, with his somewhat misguided attempts at wooing the man is just spectacular.

And, once again, Mohinder realises the only way to fix everything is to sleep with Sylar. I LOVE HIS LOGIC!

*waits for Wednesday*

seraphtrevs October 19 2008, 00:27:34 UTC

I can't believe they actually exist (GAY KAMA SUTRA? Really??) XD

It does indeed!

And, once again, Mohinder realises the only way to fix everything is to sleep with Sylar. I LOVE HIS LOGIC!

Hee, me too. Mohinder's logic isn't exactly stellar even when he's sober, drunk!logic + Mohinder!logic = wait, that's your plan? Seriously?. Poor guy. XD

aurilly October 18 2008, 21:53:59 UTC

I absolutely adored Mohinder’s little inner monologues about the titles of each book. LOL ( ... )

seraphtrevs October 19 2008, 00:48:01 UTC

The ending of this was very bittersweet, with Sylar quite clearly knowing what Mohinder’s thinking and Mohinder’s utter lack of power in the situation. But Mohinder isn’t down for the count yet. I’m sure of it.

I was very ;_; at the end of this, even though it had to happen. And you are correct, madam - Mohinder isn't about to give up yet!

Even though there do seem to be some other people in the world, you paint such a beautiful and sad picture of a world that has been made almost extinct of people. It’s so much more poignant to remember that it isn’t just that Mohinder is alone in this because he’s trapped; he’s also sort of alone because there aren’t many people left out there in the world.Thank you! That makes me happy that I'm getting that across - I think that Mohinder sort of has it in his head that if he could just get away, everything would be all right, but at the same time, a deeper part of him knows that there really isn't any place to run to, because the whole world is essentially gone. However, it's going to take him ( ... )