Step Fifty-Four

[senseiseiichi]

...I'm getting much too thin. My clothes are starting to hang off of me, and I'm already in tiny sizes.

I'm following the doctor's instructions, and I eat like there's nothing holding me back. And it's junky stuff, food that I usually don't eat because it's not good for athletes. I shouldn't be losing this much, this fast. I'm just skin and bones,

Comments

Private to Yukimura

[dataphysics]

Yukimura...are you alright? A small size should not be too large for you. Have you developed an eating disorder? Or is there...something else wrong?

Private to Inui

[senseiseiichi]

I doubt you'll betray my confidences.

I don't have an eating disorder-I've been eating like a pig. I know I'm too thin, so that's not it.

I am...on an aggressive round of medication right now. GBS can develop into a disorder called CIDP, and my blood and spinal tests have been showing that I'm either developing early signs of CIDP or that I'm at risk for it. And the medication causes weight loss.

I've heard I can combat it with steroids, but I can't take those and play tennis. I'd be banned from the circuit for life.

Private to Yukimura

[dataphysics]

Oh...I see. That is not good news at all. At least there is medication, right?

And...I know you will not want to hear this, but. Do you not think that, perhaps, your health might be more important than tennis, at least playing at a competition level? There are enough tennis players around that you will not have to give it up completely. But, steriods or no, if you keep losing weight, you simply will become physically incapable of playing. You were looking too thin when break began, and if you have lost more weight....

I am concerned.

Private to Inui

[senseiseiichi]

There's plenty of medication for it. I'm not worried even though it's still an experimental field-I've read everything that I can on the subject, and just as long as I keep on top of it, I'll be fine.

See...it sounds stupid, but my health and tennis are kind of linked. The only reason I agreed to go through all of the surgery in the first place was because where I was at the moment, I couldn't play. My greatest fear wasn't dying, it was living and not being able to play. I've gone as far as to tell people that I am tennis itself. Not giving my all when I can still fight...

I can't let this illness conquer me. That's admitting defeat.

Right now, I'm trying to gain weight by eating more. Not just healthy stuff, all of that sugary stuff that Sen likes (even though most of it makes me gag). And I'm not sure, but I'd probably have to take prednisone, and that's a corticosteroid. I'm pretty sure it's only anabolics that are banned, but I don't want to risk it until I know. And the side effects to prednisone are nastyI just wish I could

Private to Seiichi

[gaku_nii_chan]

What's going on? Did you call the other doctor yet? What did he say about the meds and your test results? I'm worried.

Private to Gakuto

[senseiseiichi]

I called him, but he hasn't been able to see me-what with New Year and me leaving for Osaka early tomorrow morning.

You're not the only one who's worried. I look like I'm dead. And my doctor here wants to put me on corticosteriods, but I'm not testing positive for steriods because I can't stop playing tennis (because then I'll really die), and prednisone has nasty side effects, and I don't want to expose Takashi to me in that state and...

Private to Seiichi

[gaku_nii_chan]

You should be able to get in to see him when you get back. Do you want me to call for you? He can even come by if you want. We can set it up where he comes to see you at my place. This way, no one needs to know.

I truly wish there was something I could do. We'll figure something out. Have you told him yet what's going on? He will be there for you, you know that. Just talk to him, because it might be better to have someone there to deal with this with.

Private to Gakuto

[senseiseiichi]

Yes, please. He knew his stuff about GBS without asking me or looking at my records, which was incredible. I'm really sure that I'm on unecessary medication, and if one of those is forcing me to drop this weight, I want off. It's too dangerous. I don't want to end up in the hospital again.

Gakuto...you are helping me. A lot. I really owe you.

Private to Seiichi

[taka_can_cook]

Seiichi! Smalls's aren't fitting you? Is...there something you should tell me? I'm leaving the house at five, if that's okay. I should make it to your house by six. Dad needs some help, before Grandpa takes over...he's good at rolling, but he can't cut anymore, with his eyesight. Can...I bring dinner or something?
I miss you.

Private to Takashi

[senseiseiichi]

...I'll tell you about everything tomorrow night, Takashi. You need to know what's going on, but I want to tell you in person, not here.

Six is fine. I'll let my parents know. And my mom's cooking again, so she'd be a bit disappointed if you brought dinner. =)

I miss you too. I'll see you soon.

Re: Private to Seiichi

[taka_can_cook]

Alright. Not tonight?

Thank you! And, are you sure? I don't want Yukimura-san to go through all that trouble!

Won't be soon enough. After dealing with Jin, I just might need a hug.

Private to Takashi

[senseiseiichi]

With my family around? We'll never get any privacy. And I think that you have questions you want to ask me.

Perfectly sure. =) She already had a menu planned and everything.

I'll give you a big hug and a kiss as soon as you get out of the car.

Private to Sei-nii

[lady_anchan]

Sei-nii, what's going on? A lot of girls I know, myself included, would kill to be smaller than a small, but you're not a girl, so...are you alright?

Private to An-chan

[senseiseiichi]

It's nothing to worry about, An-chan. I know you hear that from everyone, but I'll be okay.

It's nothing like an eating disorder. I'm losing too much weight because of some medication, and so I'm going to a different doctor when I go back to Osaka.

I don't want to be smaller than a small. It's hard to find clothes in extra small.

Private to Sei-nii

[lady_anchan]

Oh.

Then I hope that you can get off that medication really, really soon. ♥

Also...just in case you can't find any extra smalls, don't give away your too-big clothes. I can alter them for you so that they fit. Or I could do that right away if you'd rather not try and look.

Private to Yukimura

[devilishelf]

Smalls are getting to be too big? What the-?

You...please don't tell me you're having a relapse.

Private to Akaya

[senseiseiichi]

...Yeah. I'm a bit worried myself.

I'll be fine, Akaya. It's not a relapse.

Private to Yukimura

[devilishelf]

That's good that it's not a relapse. But still, it doesn't sound good.