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all the signs were there, i should have kept my eyes open, listened and paid attention.

instead, my concept of reality came crashing down.

emerging from it is the actual reality..it's a little brighter, a little harder, a little rough around the edges.
but it is real. and i am grateful for it.

i'll be out of my space here on the 3rd, everyone has to move out, the lease is up and won't be renewed as they had thought. the weather is warmer now, and i've been dreaming of swimming in a river somewhere, sleeping in the woods and smelling like sweat and goodness ( Read more... )

i've got these new shoes see, they're waterproof and now my socks won't get wet. i paid money for them, and felt bad afterwards. you see, my gypsy man, he go home you see. he go home back to new orleans, to louisiana and tennessee.. he go to north carolina where they welcome him with open arms. he never belonged up north, they didn't know him ( Read more... )

i've had this dream of living in an old barn in the countryside by the coast in california somewhere. i've had this dream for a while. come spring, i'm hoping to make this happen. the dream looks a lot like this:


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forgot to mention ( Read more... )

so i must be fucking up along the way somewhere, putting my paws on people that are not for me. these past two months i have spent off and on in arcata, off and on with a super nice boy that i had met ( Read more... )

slept in the woods in arcata, met some nice folks.
went back to bellingham.
i'll be leaving again this weekend, heading south, again.

patterns, patterns, patterns that we repeat.

i didn't get to swim in the ocean. back to portland, and then back to california, here i come.

this winter is going to be a hot one.

and from southern california i went to portland to meet my lover, total disaster. he left me in portland and i followed him to bellingham, i cornered him and he told me to leave. why? because he's afraid i will leave him, he doesn't want to start it up with me again. i'm going back through portland and then to northern cal, just so i can swim ( Read more... )

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